Quirk Books | 2016
Opening Hook: Don’t take acid in the woods.
Main Character: The power of Christ compels her.
Plot Twisty-ness: E.T. attending an exorcism.
I 👏 FUCKING 👏 LOVED 👏 THIS.
I own Horrorstör by this author, but I haven’t read it yet. I only bought it for the cover, and format, without any idea of what the book was about or if I liked the author. And honestly, I wanted to read My Best Friend’s Exorcism for the same reason. This is 100% a “#bookstagram made me do it” read. The alternate cover is gorgeous VHS 80s goodness. And the yearbook format print that I had was goddamn adorable. I literally read every single message written on the front and back covers with unabashed nerdy glee.
Clearly, Grady Hendrix is killing the book format game and there’s nothing that turns me on more than someone who throws cliches out the window and walks a creative path less followed in writing. It’s like half the reason I married my husband, who wrote me bizarre poetry on the reg.
But, it turns out Hendrix is also killing the horror writing game because this is one of my most favourite books that I’ve read in a while. And I’m so bummed it wasn’t in my life so much sooner.
I STAN GRADY HENDRIX SO FUCKING HARD.
Continue reading “Review: My Best Friend's Exorcism by Grady Hendrix”
Okay, booknerds, you’ve probably heard already, and if not, I’m here to let you know that February is Women in Horror Month!
What’s that you ask? Stupid question. I don’t know why you even asked it. I mean, it’s pretty self-explanatory…
WiHM is an international, grassroots initiative aimed at showcasing and bringing awareness to the underrepresented work of women in horror industries. Movies, novels, TV… you name it! Women are getting creepy shit done when it comes to artistic expression in horror. Don’t you want to celebrate that and make it more visible in a largely male dominated genre? Of course you fucking do!
There are even events you can attend, which you can check out here.
Listen, I love horror. I’m a woman. And the truth is that I definitely don’t base my entertainment choices on the gender-identity of the creator. Does that make me a bad feminist? Depends on who you ask. Should I be trying harder? Goddamn right I should be.
Continue reading “Women in Horror Month: Goddesses of the Dark & Twisty You Need To Read!”
Gallery Books | 2019
Opening Hook: Stroke your ego more than three times, you’re just playing with yourself.
Main Character: Douchebag of the Year
Plot Twisty-ness: Straight fall from the roof.
I didn’t really love this. It’s kind of boring??? There were moments of intrigue and it’s unlike anything I’ve read recently, but it really didn’t live up to the hype I saw online for it.
Now before you decide to add some salty comment to let me know I’m a bitch, just remember that 1. I already know that, and 2. My reviews aren’t personal indictments against other readers. I’m just saying that, for me, Man of the Year by Caroline Louise Walker was just alright. It was meh. I liked it a reasonable amount for a thing that was just okay.
Certainly, my opinion is going to fall way below all of the THIS IS THE MOST MAGNIFICENT BOOK TO EVER BOOK reviews that are posted. I’m going to land somewhere in the “most okay-est thing to ever mediocre” category.
My expectation was that this was going to be more of a sinister thriller with a cunning anti-hero at the helm of the POV, but it just ended up being a character study about an unlikable, mostly boring narcissist, his untrustworthy family and shallow relationships. But that’s very on-trend for the last couple of years, isn’t it?
Continue reading “Review: Man of the Year by Caroline Louise Walker”
Amazon Originals | 2018
Opening Hook: HGTV meets Shutter.
Main Character: No one wants to raise a baby with ghosts.
Plot Twisty-ness: Creepy but on uppers.
I did it! Here it is! My last review of the Dark Corners collection! It also happens to technically be my first read of 2020, so that means I’m caught up on all of my 2019 reviews. It’s New Year’s miracle!
Alright, for real I never thought I’d say this, but I’m kind of disappointed that this isn’t a full-length novel…because it was too fast. *gasp, horror, shock* I KNOW. Am I taking crazy pills? Seriously, I never thought “the plot moved too quickly” would be a complaint I would ever have in my life. My feelings about this story have totally caught me off guard.
I liked this and I liked Brandi Reeds writing style, but my rating reflects what didn’t work for me. Though the creepy atmosphere is set immediately, the plot was too rushed and stilted to fit the short-story criteria.
Continue reading “Review: Oak Avenue by Brandi Reeds”
It’s that time of year again, creepy lovers! The hopeless romantics are losing their ever-loving minds planning a full day of romance, the cynics are complaining about commercialization, the consciously uncoupled are waiting for chocolate to go on sale, and I’m writing up some true-crime about being murdered on Valentine’s Day.
February 14th literally has something for everyone!
I have stuff & things planned with my husband for Saturday because there’s nothing I want to do less than go out on a Friday night after being awake since 6 a.m. and working all day.
We have yoga in the morning, followed by a float session. Then we’re doing dinner and a movie. I’m hoping I can drag Husband to see the new Blumhouse movie, Fantasy Island, because nothing says Valentine’s Day like blood and guts and horror and murder.
So in that spirit, this week’s True Crime Tuesday is a 1971 double homicide that took place while some crazy kids were just trying to celebrate Valentine’s Day and young love.
Two lovers. Lovers Lane. Torture. And a killer who has never been caught.
This story is giving me Zodiac/Son of Sam/The Town That Dreaded Sundown vibes and I am very fucking into.
Important sidebar: I’m not celebrating or glorifying the murder of real human beings, but I do take an unapologetic interest in the psychology of these kinds of crimes, the mystery and those creepy AF vibes. Don’t get it twisted, every story is tragic, but I believe it’s important to confront the worst in humanity, especially on a day when we’re celebrating all the mushy love we can experience too.
This is the story of Jesse McBane and Patricia Mann.
Continue reading “True Crime Tuesday: A Valentine's Day Cold Case”
Amazon Original Stories | 2018
Opening Hook: A bad costume choice.
Main Character: Should have used a smaller knife.
Plot Twisty-ness: Mean Girls meets Urban Legend
Of all the books in the Dark Corners collection, this was my absolute favourite. The whole structure of it is just so perfect, I can’t say enough. I’ve read Jennifer McMahon before and didn’t really care for her writing from that experience, but this short story is a fucking firecracker and I adored it.
It would be the perfect creepy Halloween read, so put it on your TBR for October!
Told between past and present, this is a story about mean girls, the actions that haunt you and how urban legends are created.
The vibe of it is perfect – an otherwise rational adult succumbing to fears of what is in the dark as her mind runs wild with memories of the past.
Continue reading “Review: Hannah-Best by Jennifer McMahon”
Amazon Original Stories | 2018
Opening Hook: Apparently lobotomized before I could read it.
Main Character: Needs help, but not this kind.
Plot Twisty-ness: Twisted, and not in a good way.
My backlog of reviews is so long that it’s starting to give me just a smidgen of anxiety. But then I remind myself this is all just my humble opinions on books and saying ‘fuck’ a lot, so I’m not going to take it too seriously. Anyway, I’m back on my bullshit and here’s a review to prove it…
I have to say, the Dark Corners collection from Amazon was definitely disappointing overall. I read this compilation of seven “scary” short stories for Halloween and there were three included works that I ended up liking.
The Remedy was not one of them.
Continue reading “Review: The Remedy by Adam Haslett”
Let’s stop talking about books for a second, and just focus on having a real conversation about mental health. I’ll share my own story deeper into the post. If you require a trigger warning for talk of sexual assault, rape or PTSD, consider this it.
I may, or may not, work for Bell Canada. If you’re not Canadian, maybe that means nothing to you.
Bell is the biggest Telecomm company North Of The Wall. Internet, TV, Cellular.
If I worked for Bell, I would like working for Bell. I don’t talk about my job because a) don’t fucking stalk me, and b) I don’t want my views or opinions to be associated in any way with the company I work for. They have nothing to do with what I do outside of work – I’m not representing them and no I can’t get you a discount.
I want to preface this by saying, nothing in this post has been in any way orchestrated by Bell Canada – all views are my own! What I say here is mine. I say it because I want to.
My job is how I pay my mortgage, for my car, my kid’s braces, my dog’s wardrobe (which is expensive as hell,) etc. If I work for Bell, it’s a good company to work for. They take care of their employees (being unionized certainly doesn’t hurt either – Unifor shoutout!) and I feel very lucky to have landed this job right out of college (if I did.)
Days like today I would be especially proud to be on the Bell team.
It’s #BellLetsTalk Day across the country!
Continue reading “It's #BellLetsTalk Day!”
“It is impossible for a man to learn what he thinks he already knows.”
Ballantine Books | 2019
Opening Hook: Blow jobs weren’t on the curriculum.
Main Character: Good at flowcharts.
Plot Twisty-ness: Needs some spit on it.
This is a popular read with high ratings on Goodreads from other reviewers, but my overall opinion is basically WHAT THE FUCK THIS IS REALLY DUMB???
I don’t mind being one of only a few people going against the grain here, but honestly, I just can’t even with this book. I had to suspend disbelief in such an extreme way that I started to feel legit angry about it.
This was 400 pages about girls at a boarding school going all Sally Field-Norma Rae with shaved heads because they’ve somehow fallen into a secret game of giving blow jobs for points to all the popular boys at the school who have a yearly championship bracket.
All of the teaching staff knows kind of (the six of them running a school of hundreds of students,) but turn a blind eye because…I guess…rich parents? Or college admissions? Or reputation? Or whatever else rich people care about. Someone ask Lori Laughlin. I’m still a little fuzzy on why full-grown, educated adults dedicated to America’s youth would be all elbow patches and tweed, and please ignore our student sex ring.
I mean, there must have been a way to stop the abuse without putting “ran a blow job side-hustle his senior year” on school transcripts. Then again, maybe Yale would call it entrepreneurship.
Continue reading “Review: The Swallows by Lisa Lutz”
It’s the 74th day of January and it feels like it’s getting colder every day. Or maybe my tolerance for winter is just constantly dwindling?
Last weekend we had a crazy amount of snow dumped on us, although it was nothing compared to what the people of Newfoundland dealt with. (Seriously, look up Newfoundland snowfall. The pictures are ridiculous. Trudeau had to send in the fucking army to dig people out.)
They’re calling for more snow this weekend in my neck of the woods and I’m over it. But at the same time, it’s not so bad. What better reason to stay inside and read all day than “I’m fucking snowed in!” Joy.
Today’s #TCT post feels totally on theme.
This is the story of Fred and Edwina Rogers, who were quite literally, put on ice.
Continue reading “True Crime Tuesday: The Ice Box Murders”