Fucking Notable Mystery/Thriller New Releases | April to June 2022

You may have noticed – and you may not have which is totally valid – but I took an unexpected break from this space. What it came down to is just energy and my lack of it. Mostly mental. I won’t get into details but between a cancer diagnosis in my family and my basement flooding, March was a HELL of a month and I needed to get my shit together before I could be creative with shit reviews again.

With that, I know this new release list is late like a period after prom night, but I have some fresh wind under my butt wings and I’m ready to pop a Plan B and caught up.

I might not have read very much in the last few weeks, but I was still buying books like my very life depended on hitting “add to cart.” And in some ways it did. A therapist might call impulse buying books compensating for the emotions I’m not ready to deal with yet, but I’m calling it self-care.

What other books can I buy in the coming months to avoid the horrors of real life? Let’s find out!

As always this is not a comprehensive list, but it’s definitely a highlight.

Continue reading “Fucking Notable Mystery/Thriller New Releases | April to June 2022”

Fucking Notable Mystery/Thriller New Releases | January to March 2022!

While this is definitely going to be my year of reading the books I already own (and I own SO FUCKING MANY,) in my mind, reading books and buying books are two very separate hobbies.

If you’ve joined my #ReadWhatYouFuckingOwn challenge hosted on Insta, let me be clear – this isn’t a book buying ban. I’m here to support you as you read what you own, but I’m also 100% here for you buying even more books. Go wild! Indulge your passions!

As we’ve learned over the last two years, life is short and crazy and there’s no sense in not enjoying the things you enjoy because you never know when this shit show is going to come to an end. Either by a comet or maybe a never-ending plague. Our options for obsoletion are endless! Unless you enjoy gross shit that hurts other people, like, don’t do that.

Be Good GIF by Peloton

With Peleton bro’s words to live by and 2022 officially 12 days in, let’s check out some upcoming releases that definitely, maybe, probably should be on your buy list. Or at the very least, your library holds list.

And remember, buy list and read list – two different things!

Continue reading “Fucking Notable Mystery/Thriller New Releases | January to March 2022!”

My Top Reads of 2021!

As promised from my previous cranky bitch post, here are my tippy-tappy tippy tip top-rated books from last year. To be clear, these are books that I actually really liked and, in some cases, loved. It’s unlike me, but it does happen.

And actually, let me just say, that it happened ten times in 2021. That’s right, there are ten fucking books on this list. 10! Maybe that’s not a lot to you, but for me and my reading history…

Growth Growing GIF by Insecure on HBO

But then, only one of them earned my elusive 5-star rating, so…

Im Not Crazy Tonight Show GIF by The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon

Who knows, this time next year, maybe I’ll be writing my top reads post and I’ll have fifteen or even twenty books on it. Can you imagine? Me, liking that many books? Or giving more than one book 5-stars?

Roselyn Sanchez Hello GIF by FOX TV

This is my year of transformation after all – my health and my mind and my overall energy on this fucking shit planet. I’m laser focussed on evolving. It’s also my year to read what I already own and I’d like to believe I didn’t spend the disgusting amount of money I have to fill my bookshelves on shitty reads.

So, could a convergence of those two things mean that I have my very own grinch moment where my heart grows three times its normal size and I start giving out good reviews like I’m Oprah giving out cars? Or my cat giving out poop on the carpet? Unlikely. But then, I would have guessed Trump and COVID were unlikely, too. And yet, here we are.

This simulation/multiverse timeline is fucked up.

Despite that, here are the ten books I read last year that made this *gestures broadly at everything* a little more worth it.

Continue reading “My Top Reads of 2021!”

All the Books I Hated in 2021!

And I’m back! Happy New Year!

50 Best 2022 Memes | Daily Funny Memes | Best Damn Photos

2021 has come & gone in the blink of an eye and a pile of books (that keeps getting bigger, please send help.) And let me tell you, some of the books I picked from that pile in 2021 were fucking shit. So, as is my tradition at Here’s The Fucking Twist, the first post of the new year is dedicated to all the books I read last year that were disappointing, rage-inducing or just straight-up garbage.

Before I write a new post for this particular series, I always go back and read the one I wrote the previous year to see what I had to say – what was my mindset going into the new year?

Apparently, I had a lot more optimism at the start of 2021 than I ended with. It was a hard year, a stagnant year, another year of a global pandemic that really revealed to me how stupid people are and how much we all hate each other. So that’s fun and not at all depressing. It’s one of the reasons I’m going into 2022 with trepidation. I’ll keep some optimism, because I have to, but like… from a distance. I’m giving 2022 a wide berth. This year can stay over there and I’ll be over here, in my house. Again. Still. Forever. No one fucking talk to me unless you are definitively not an asshole.

Andy Samberg Beer GIF by The Lonely Island

While 2022 will certainly bring its fair share of shit books because I’m like a goddamn magnet for them, let’s get back to saying goodbye to all the terrible ones I read in 2021. Books that did nothing to distract me from the plague-ridden hellscape we call Earth. I was my hands (for 30 seconds!!) of them!

I did, however, manage to read 75 books in total which is an improvement from what my trauma-response brain was capable of in 2020. Like, I traded Twitter doom-scrolling and mainlining American 24-hour news for Goosebump books and shitty ARCs.

That’s got to count for something. Do we consider it a step up? We’re going to.

So, cheers to all the truly shitty books out of 75! *Barry Manilow voice* Looks like we made ittttt!

I read them so you don’t have to, friends!

Continue reading “All the Books I Hated in 2021!”

“Yes, It’s a Christmas Movie!” Your Essential Holiday Horror Watchlist #Slashmas

If you’re like me, horror movies are a year-round staple, there for you in any situation.

Sad? Silence of the Lambs. In need of a comfort movie? The Conjuring. Feeling that itch once again for Vincent D’Onofrio to visually traumatize you? The Cell. Feeling nostalgic? Texas Chainsaw Massacre. Celebrating your Anniversary? The Exorcist. Just want to have a good time? Scream. Looking to reaffirm your decision to not have children? The Omen.

But there are two seasons that demand an inordinate amount of horror movies. Halloween, obviously. And Christmas/whatever you celebrate this time of year (personally, for me, it’s Yule.)

I feel like Christmas horror tends to get forgotten in the tidal waves that are traditional Christmas movies and all that Hallmark shit. Hey, if you love that Hallmark shit, no judgement. I’m just saying I would much rather watch someone get dismembered by a psychotic Santa than another single career-woman learn the true meaning of Christmas from some square-jawed local after she returns to her hometown.

And they lived happily ever after… no, I want chaos!

christmas horror GIF by Trent Shy Claymations

For me, there is no better way to get into my seasonal feels than a dark winter night with a decorated tree, cozy pyjamas and a sorority house being terrorized on Christmas Eve by the calls coming from inside the house.

So, if you’re looking for a little blood & guts with your merry & bright, I’ve got all the recs you ho-ho-hoes are going to need this holiday season.

I’ve listed everything in alphabetical order to keep it simple, but look for the ๐Ÿ”ช to know whiches ones I highly recommend.

Continue reading ““Yes, It’s a Christmas Movie!” Your Essential Holiday Horror Watchlist #Slashmas”

Mystery/Thriller Releases for Q3 2021

It’s 7:46 EST on July 31st. Which means… it’s still July so this still counts! Judges?!

As always, yours truly is a little bit behind on capturing the new releases, but what can I do? Oh, just create these posts in a timely manner? No, thank you. What do I look like to you, a blogger? Not even close.

We’re halfway through the year now – are you hanging in there? Seeing the light at the end of the vaccinated tunnel? Don’t even mention the Delta variant to me. I can’t take it right now *exhausted laughter*

I got my second shot on Friday. I spent last weekend away at an AirBnB and actually got to eat inside a restaurant for the first time in a year. And, if you’ll remember from my last new release post, I was going to get a hammock and read in it all summer.

Well, I did get myself a hammock. I love it. I haven’t been reading in it much because it’s been either been hotter than fucking hell outside or raining. You win some, you lose some. But there is nothing I hate more than sitting outside in the heat and feeling my thighs stick together while sweat pools in my bra.

Fuck that.

Maybe if I had a pool… OMG should I get a pool?!

James Franco GIF

For now, I’m reading inside with the A/C blasting so that it feels like winter. Well, “reading” often ends up being more like mindlessly scrolling on my phone while some random shit is on TV in the background. It’s the thought that counts.

I would like to read hard and get truly caught up on my NetGalley arcs, but also being stoned in bed without having to use my brain for anything at all can be where it’s at, too. Don’t judge. The judges have gone home!

My love of books doesn’t cease, but my love of buying books and not reading them has grown exponentially during this pandemic. So let’s take a look at what else is releasing in the next three months so we can plan our budgets, grow our TBRs and get some shit on hold at the library!

This is not a comprehensive list of new releases because I do not have the time for that. I barely have the time to write this at all, obviously. But this will get us to September before spooky season. And to note, as always, the I’m Buzzed Score is mostly arbitrary so don’t ask me questions about it because I don’t have any answers.

Get in losers! We’re going book shopping… inside a book store!

Continue reading “Mystery/Thriller Releases for Q3 2021”

Mystery/Thriller Releases for Q2 of 2021

Alright, listen. to write this post I’m pulling myself away from a very riveting conversation about a co-worker pretending to be engaged to a Bald Eagle.

I can’t get into details really, but she had a ring. Just know my entire body is buzzing with joy because the bird lady is just so pure and simple and strange. We need more of that in a world that is filled with 24/7 news about terrible shit.

Speaking of terrible shit, the last time I did a new release post it was the beginning of 2021 and we were quickly approaching the one-year anniversary of this pandemic. We were talking about mental health issues and reaching a breaking point, or that maybe you were feeling hopeful it was almost over as the vaccine rollout got underway.

Now here we are, half-way into April and I don’t know about you, but things have only gotten worse in Canada. Currently we’re in our third lockdown and second stay-at-home-order in Ontario. There are riots in Quebec over curfews that are now in discussion to hit Ontario . And getting a vaccine?! Fucking forget about it. The vaccine rollout in Canada is absolute trash. NO ONE KNOWS WHAT THEY’RE FUCKING DOING.

*deep breath*

It’s really starting to feel like Spring 2020: The Redux and I just…

Season 1 Episode 13 GIF by The Simpsons

Anyway, since we’re most definitely heading into another pandemic summer of doing nothing at home once again, now seems like the best time to add even more books to our ever-growing TBRs.

All last spring and summer I spent almost every weekend renovating my backyard and creating huge garden beds that I only regret a little bit. So this year, my intention is to sit in my hammock and read every chance I get. Like, I should probably enjoy the backyard I poured so much money and sweat into.

Note to self: Buy a hammock.

Anyway, this is obviously not a comprehensive list of new releases, because I do not have the fucking time for that, but it’ll start us off and get us through until July. And there are some books on here I am hella excited about.

Get in losers, we’re doing curbside pickup!

Continue reading “Mystery/Thriller Releases for Q2 of 2021”

Mystery/Thriller New Releases for Q1 of 2021

Oh heyyyyyyy! How’s 2021 treating you so far? Like a sledgehammer to the head? Good, me too. Glad we’re on the same page.

I definitely slacked on my “new releases” posts last year and I’m fully aware of that. And by slacked, I very generously mean that I didn’t post a single fucking one.

But, as I’ve said on repeat, 2020 can eat a bag of dicks. Among its less egregious crimes is that it messed so hard with my motivation to do literally anything I typically like to do. All I had the attention span for was reality tv and changing out of one pair of leggings into an identical, cleaner pair of leggings. Stress levels increase = concentration levels decrease. It’s science.

And even though 2021 hasn’t been much better so far, and in fact seems to be impacting my mental health much harder the closer we get to the one-year anniversary of this shit, (shout out to crying jags over small inconveniences!) I’m going to muscle through like Christina Aguilera. She’s a fighter.

christina aguilera television GIF by The Voice

If you’ve been luckier than me and have managed to actually read in this pandemic, number one – I’m jealous. And number two – I’m here to restock that TBR, because despite my jealously, I want you to be happy. Look no further than this list of new releases to find your next read.

If you’re having a hard time reading like yours truly, this list is still for you, booboo! As everyone should know by now – reading books and acquiring books are two totally separate hobbies. And if you’re even more like me then compulsive online shopping is one of the only things getting you through this shit lately. So, let’s buy some motherfucking books!

This is obviously not a comprehensive list of new releases, because I do not have the fucking time for that, but it’s a place to start. And I know I should have posted this a month ago, but hellloooooo did you hear what I just said about my mental health?

The Rookie Hello GIF by ABC Network

Also, before you get confused, my “buzzed score” is really simple – the more emojis, the more into it I am. But moreover, it’s just a reason for me to put together different emojis to mean I’m smoking weed and getting high. Okay, let’s goooooooo!

Continue reading “Mystery/Thriller New Releases for Q1 of 2021”

All The Books I Hated In 2020!

It’s that time of year again!

For my first post of 2020, I’m going to stick with the tradition I’ve fallen into at Here’s the Fucking Twist over the last three years, and use my inaugural post of the new year to complain about all the books I read last year that were disappointing, rage-inducing or just straight-up garbage.

Speaking of inaugural though, let’s take a moment to collectively unclench our assholes because TRUMP IS OFFICIALLY FUCKING GONE TODAY.

drag race no GIF by Robert E Blackmon

I’m having a moment of existential crisis, because what am I going to do without that spray-tanned dumpster fire to entertain/scare/enrage me every day while I binge watch American news?! I’m hoping whatever mental energy I devoted to (read: had stolen by) Cheeto Mussolini and these last horrific four years, will now be freed up to focus on reading and running this blog. But hey, maybe it’s a smoother transition to just become fully obsessed with not dying in a global pandemic? We’ll see. So many choices for my life!

Honestly, 2020 was a hard reading year for me. I’m sure some of you can relate. So many outside forces were stressing me THE FUCK OUT and I couldn’t concentrate on anything that required significant brain power. March to September basically saw me unable to get out of my pajamas, watching reality TV and doom-scrolling on Twitter. But, after today, I have a good feeling about 2021!

Though the pandemic is seemingly worse then ever, and I am stuck in an endless time-loop of being in my house doing the same thing every fucking day, I do think we’re heading towards better times.

So, while I head into 2021 with optimism and hope, let’s take a look back on all the books I read last year that did nothing to distract me from the hellscape of real life and only added to the negativity.

I read this shit so you don’t have to, friends! Let’s gooooooooo!!

Continue reading “All The Books I Hated In 2020!”

LGBTQIA+ Mystery/Thriller Authors We Should Be Reading

While I was putting together a ๐Ÿณ๏ธโ€๐ŸŒˆPride book stack for a #bookstagram post in June, I realized that I didn’t really have (or know if I had) any queer authors on my shelves. I was disappointed that I couldn’t include queer authors while trying to acknowledge queer people, and was privately called out in my DMs for this as well after the post went up. Trust me, I hear you and I am listening! I weighed the pros and cons of that post extensively before deciding to go ahead with a caption focused on queer issues.

There have always been queer authors since the beginning of literature, but chances are that part of their life was not revealed until much later when societal norms shifted, or it was never revealed at all.

For instance, Oscar Wilde, Virginia Wolfe, James Baldwin, Truman Capote and Walt Whitman are all counted among the LGBTQ+ community. (Whitman is debated by historians as he was notoriously cagey about his personal life, but Wilde is quoted as confirming Whitman was gay and said, “I have the kiss of Walt Whitman still on my lips.”)

Speaking of Wilde, did you know that after a botched libel trial initiated by Wilde himself, evidence was present in court that proved Wilde was gay and he was subsequently arrested and jailed for two years (hard labour) for “gross indecency” with men?

Modern Family Cameron Tucker GIF

Wilde was released from prison in 1897 and published The Ballad of Reading Gaol, a long poem commemorating the harsh rhythms of prison life, one year later. He died in 1900 at the age of 46 due to meningitis.

Today, there is a myriad of authors who are publicly “out” and there are others who just don’t feel a need to comment on such things. And honestly I understand it either way. On one hand it’s important to showcase representation for marginalized and oppressed groups, and on the other hand it’s not like straight authors ever have to make a statement about their straightness.

But, in honour of that sassy bitch Wilde, and all others who came before and after him, I present to you my round-up of LGBTQ+ mystery/thriller authors who are indeed out and proud. This is by no means a comprehensive list, but simply a place to start in order to help us diversify our bookshelves with dark and twisty stories that haven’t been written by the typically published cis, straight author.

gay pride GIF
Continue reading “LGBTQIA+ Mystery/Thriller Authors We Should Be Reading”