Contact & Review Policy


🔪Note: Due to high volume, I am not currently accepting any new review requests. Please check back in February 2021, if we’re not all dead by then.

Review Requests: I will totally consider reading your book! Just fill in the form below and I’ll respond as soon as I can. But, please keep in mind a few things:

  • My preferred genres are mystery, thrillers, and horror. Chances are if you ask me to review erotica or a romance about a divorcée falling in love with a farmhand, it’s going to be a hard pass. And who the fuck would ask me to review a children’s book? It’s happened! Like for real, just don’t.
  • I do not sugarcoat my reviews. I won’t be cruel, (what kind of bitch do you take me for?) but I will call balls & dicks strikes as I see them. Like, hello, it’s kind of my thing. You’re taking that risk and I won’t apologize for hurt feelings.
  • If I DNF your book, I will not review it unless I passed the 50% mark. I think that’s fair.
  • I require up to 8 weeks between the time I receive the book and when I can have a review published.
  • I require the book to come in a kindle (app) compatible format or physical copies. Address is available upon legit request.

Reviews will be published on Goodreads, my blog and a photo will be posted to my #bookstagram.

Disclaimer: I reserve the right to publicly share your correspondence on social media should you exhibit any rude or aggressive behaviour towards me. Just something to keep in mind.

Readers: Want to send me a message for some other reason? Maybe you hate my blog with an intense rage. Maybe you want to troll me because I keep dropping random potshots at the Orange Dumpster Fire Comrade who desecrated the White House. Maybe you think I’m ugly and feel I should seriously know about it right now… Hey! It happens. I’ve been told to burn in hell and called a cunt numerous times around here. The internet is a cesspool.

So, new rule! This contact form is now exclusively for review requests and readers who want to compliment me.

Kidding. But, really, be nice or GTFO.