True Crime Tuesday: The Twilight Killers

Please read the “TCT Disclaimer,” under the True Crime tab at the top of the page before reading any true crime posts.

Happy February, Murderinos!

It’s the month of love – for your friends, family, pets, yourself and maybe even your 14-year-old boyfriend who you’re planning on killing your family for.

You know, a tale as old as time.

beauty and the beast ballroom GIF by Disney

I mean, seriously, kids kill their parents a lot. This isn’t an essay on why I’m not having kids, but it might as well be.

But first, just a word of wisdom to all the youngins out there thinking you might want to kill your parents because they don’t like your shitty new boyfriend: don’t. Really simple. Just don’t.

Number one, you are not smart enough to get away with it. Most adults with real resources are not smart enough to get away with murder. If you run away, the cops will think you’ve been abducted, but they’ll figure out real quick that you’re actually guilty AF. And if you don’t run, you’re the number one suspect right out of the gate and you don’t lie as well as you think you do.

Number two, you’re probably going to break up with that person, let’s be real. I know you think you’ll be together forever and no one will ever understand you the way they do, but the “you” that they understand is about to change 100 more times before you turn 30. The you that exists today is not intellectually going to exist even six months from now. It’s calling growing and you are not done. And most people grow apart. That’s a fact.

So, if you kill your parents, instead of being in college or whatever, dating, making new friends and getting drunk on spring break in Cancun, you’re going to be in prison, using charcoal as eyeshadow and trading cigarettes for ramen. You’ll be 62, cooking your ramen on a toilet while your cellmate asks you to hurry up so they can shit in front of you, and you’ll be thinking to yourself, why the fuck did I kill my parents?

Think Schitts Creek GIF by CBC

On that lovely note, Valentine’s Day is right around the corner! So, let’s get into this month’s true crime case featuring a killer couple who did it for “love” – Lucas Markham and Kim Edwards, also known as the “Twilight” killers.

And yes, they are called that for exactly the reason you think, Bella. Ugh, fucking kids…

Continue reading “True Crime Tuesday: The Twilight Killers”

Review: Cackle by Rachel Harrison

“He fears me because he is small. I will not meet him there. I will not shrink myself down to his size, or anyone else’s, for their comfort. For their appeasement.”

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★★★★

Berkely Books | 2021

Filed Under: Feminist Witch Bitch Lit


Don’t let the synopsis and marketing for this book fool you. This is not horror. This is not a thriller. This is a cozy semi-mystery with Gilmore Girls meets Practical Magic vibes and a feminist tilt.

While I might have been expecting horror initially, I adjusted my expectations and ended up really liking this. It’s fucking cute and reads like Rachel Harrison has found her writing niche with this novel.

I really liked Harrison’s first novel, The Return. That was definitely horror but with a heavy female-friendship theme that propelled the plot. Cackle follows in those footsteps, but abandons horror for delightful supernatural elements, like the friendly, top-hat-wearing spider that sleeps under a little blanket at night.

Cute Spider GIFs | Tenor
Continue reading “Review: Cackle by Rachel Harrison”

Review: Haus by P.J. Vernon

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★★★★

Doubleday Books | 2021

Filed Under: Apparently, there’s not a lot of bathing in a bathhouse


Honestly, can we get more gay thrillers, please!

“Popular” mystery/thriller fiction is lacking in LGBTQ+ centred stories and we all know it or a book like this wouldn’t be such a breath of fresh air. And that makes no fucking sense to me, if reactions to this book are any indication – there is obviously an audience for these stories in the thriller world. Like, the only difference between Bath Haus and a typical mainstream thriller is that the sex was hotter.

Truth Reaction GIF by MOODMAN

This novel was all juicy drama and twists, and I was totally enthralled. It was near perfection, except for oThis novel was all juicy drama and twists, and I was totally enthralled. It was near perfection, except that it takes its sweet time hitting the gas in the plot. Like there’s a whole scene of a medical conference speed. Zzzz I don’t care. But once you get past the first 100 pages, the story really settles into its stride.

Oliver, a reformed drug addict with a shady past, and his doctor husband, Nathan, have a beautiful life from the outside – a gorgeous renovated home, money and successful careers. But just like a perfectly curated Instagram account, looks can be deceiving. Nathan is controlling and Oliver is bored. So as the saying goes, when the cat’s away the mice will play.

While Nathan is away at a conference, Oliver and his wandering eye take a trip to a private, sexy bathhouse called Haus. Oliver ends up being terrifyingly assaulted by a perspective hook-up and that’s when shit really goes off the rails.

Continue reading “Review: Haus by P.J. Vernon”

Mini-Review Dump 💩: The First One You Expect, The Pale White, The Bell Chime and Murder House | Horror Reads Under 150 Pages!

All the novellas in this post are under 150 pages and are available for free through Kindle Unlimited and Kindle Prime Reading.

And unlike my previous post, I actually liked most of these.

Snl GIF by Saturday Night Live

Reviews in this post:

  • The First One You Expect by C.V. Hunt
  • The Pale White by Chad Lutzke
  • The Bell Chime by Mona Kabbani
  • Murder House by C.V. Hunt
Continue reading “Mini-Review Dump 💩: The First One You Expect, The Pale White, The Bell Chime and Murder House | Horror Reads Under 150 Pages!”

Mini-Review Dump💩: Between Good and Evil, Crime Beat, Chasing the Devil & Death in the City of Light | #NonFictionNovember

Hey, it’s definitely not November anymore but that’s when I read all of these!

So in terms of blogging, not great. But in terms of reading, very good. I’m calling it 50/50. Technically a C-, but also an A for effort.

Spoiler! I didn’t really like any of them…

True Crime Laugh GIF by Dateline NBC

Reviews in this post:

  • Between Good and Evil: A Master Profilers Hunt for Society’s Most Violent Predators by Roger L. Depue
  • Crime Beat: A Decade of Covering Cops and Killers by Michael Connelly
  • Chasing the Devil: My Twenty-Year Quest to Capture the Green River Killer by David Reichert
  • Death in the City of Light: The Serial Killer of Nazi-Occupied Paris by David King
Continue reading “Mini-Review Dump💩: Between Good and Evil, Crime Beat, Chasing the Devil & Death in the City of Light | #NonFictionNovember”

Fucking Notable Mystery/Thriller New Releases | January to March 2022!

While this is definitely going to be my year of reading the books I already own (and I own SO FUCKING MANY,) in my mind, reading books and buying books are two very separate hobbies.

If you’ve joined my #ReadWhatYouFuckingOwn challenge hosted on Insta, let me be clear – this isn’t a book buying ban. I’m here to support you as you read what you own, but I’m also 100% here for you buying even more books. Go wild! Indulge your passions!

As we’ve learned over the last two years, life is short and crazy and there’s no sense in not enjoying the things you enjoy because you never know when this shit show is going to come to an end. Either by a comet or maybe a never-ending plague. Our options for obsoletion are endless! Unless you enjoy gross shit that hurts other people, like, don’t do that.

Be Good GIF by Peloton

With Peleton bro’s words to live by and 2022 officially 12 days in, let’s check out some upcoming releases that definitely, maybe, probably should be on your buy list. Or at the very least, your library holds list.

And remember, buy list and read list – two different things!

Continue reading “Fucking Notable Mystery/Thriller New Releases | January to March 2022!”

My Top Reads of 2021!

As promised from my previous cranky bitch post, here are my tippy-tappy tippy tip top-rated books from last year. To be clear, these are books that I actually really liked and, in some cases, loved. It’s unlike me, but it does happen.

And actually, let me just say, that it happened ten times in 2021. That’s right, there are ten fucking books on this list. 10! Maybe that’s not a lot to you, but for me and my reading history…

Growth Growing GIF by Insecure on HBO

But then, only one of them earned my elusive 5-star rating, so…

Im Not Crazy Tonight Show GIF by The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon

Who knows, this time next year, maybe I’ll be writing my top reads post and I’ll have fifteen or even twenty books on it. Can you imagine? Me, liking that many books? Or giving more than one book 5-stars?

Roselyn Sanchez Hello GIF by FOX TV

This is my year of transformation after all – my health and my mind and my overall energy on this fucking shit planet. I’m laser focussed on evolving. It’s also my year to read what I already own and I’d like to believe I didn’t spend the disgusting amount of money I have to fill my bookshelves on shitty reads.

So, could a convergence of those two things mean that I have my very own grinch moment where my heart grows three times its normal size and I start giving out good reviews like I’m Oprah giving out cars? Or my cat giving out poop on the carpet? Unlikely. But then, I would have guessed Trump and COVID were unlikely, too. And yet, here we are.

This simulation/multiverse timeline is fucked up.

Despite that, here are the ten books I read last year that made this *gestures broadly at everything* a little more worth it.

Continue reading “My Top Reads of 2021!”

All the Books I Hated in 2021!

And I’m back! Happy New Year!

50 Best 2022 Memes | Daily Funny Memes | Best Damn Photos

2021 has come & gone in the blink of an eye and a pile of books (that keeps getting bigger, please send help.) And let me tell you, some of the books I picked from that pile in 2021 were fucking shit. So, as is my tradition at Here’s The Fucking Twist, the first post of the new year is dedicated to all the books I read last year that were disappointing, rage-inducing or just straight-up garbage.

Before I write a new post for this particular series, I always go back and read the one I wrote the previous year to see what I had to say – what was my mindset going into the new year?

Apparently, I had a lot more optimism at the start of 2021 than I ended with. It was a hard year, a stagnant year, another year of a global pandemic that really revealed to me how stupid people are and how much we all hate each other. So that’s fun and not at all depressing. It’s one of the reasons I’m going into 2022 with trepidation. I’ll keep some optimism, because I have to, but like… from a distance. I’m giving 2022 a wide berth. This year can stay over there and I’ll be over here, in my house. Again. Still. Forever. No one fucking talk to me unless you are definitively not an asshole.

Andy Samberg Beer GIF by The Lonely Island

While 2022 will certainly bring its fair share of shit books because I’m like a goddamn magnet for them, let’s get back to saying goodbye to all the terrible ones I read in 2021. Books that did nothing to distract me from the plague-ridden hellscape we call Earth. I was my hands (for 30 seconds!!) of them!

I did, however, manage to read 75 books in total which is an improvement from what my trauma-response brain was capable of in 2020. Like, I traded Twitter doom-scrolling and mainlining American 24-hour news for Goosebump books and shitty ARCs.

That’s got to count for something. Do we consider it a step up? We’re going to.

So, cheers to all the truly shitty books out of 75! *Barry Manilow voice* Looks like we made ittttt!

I read them so you don’t have to, friends!

Continue reading “All the Books I Hated in 2021!”

🎄Merry Everything and Happy Whatever!

That’s right, it’s here again! My annual “end of the year” post to wish you a very happy holiday season, whatever you lovely book nerds and murderinos celebrate. I can’t believe I’m writing another one of these. Smash Mouth got it right, the years really do start coming and they don’t stop coming…

So, it is T-minus 5 days until that Very Merry Morning, and honestly, I’m not sure how we got here. Like, first it’s Christmas and then what’s next? The new year?! Excuse you, stupid fucking calendar! I’m just supposed to accept that it’s 2022? How? And why? And how again?

I’m still processing 2020, but somehow two more years have come and gone in this unprecedented pandemic that gets more and more precedented the longer we keep doing half-measures. I didn’t read as much as I hoped to this year, my blogging fell off, my mental health has been teetering right on the edge for twelve full months, and I didn’t get my shit together physically like I wanted to.

Really all I got out of 2021 was another year older, under eye cream for fine lines and a little agoraphobia.

That’s some bullshit, but I guess there’s always next year.

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Continue reading “🎄Merry Everything and Happy Whatever!”