Review: The Writing Retreat by Julia Bartz

“That was the way of the world: if you were a woman, then you had a job to do, and that was to pretend to love everyone else walking all over your body, leaving imprints on your face. You were supposed to crave it, to beg for more.”

★★★★

Atria | 2023

Filed Under: “V is for this very surprising turn of events.”

Honestly, what the fuck was this?

But still – 4 stars.

This is one of the most ridiculous thriller novels I’ve ever read. It’s completely over-the-top, just off it’s fucking rocker. The plot read a dozen mainstream thrillers, burped and then said, “Hold my beer.”

And you just have to respect that.

All you ever hear is people complaining about remakes, reboots, how everything is the same and no one has an original thought in their head. Most thrillers and mysteries you read are, in some way, things you’ve read before with a different twist here and there. Then, when we finally get something original and outside the box, and people complain that it’s too weird or unbelievable.

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Review: Bloom by Delilah S. Dawson

“She is obsessed, she is compelled, she is called. She is a selkie, and Ash has her skin. It’s infuriating and delicious and easy and challenging and tumultuous and she is hungry for more.”

★★★★

Titan Books | 2023

Filed Under: The cottagecore has rotted.

This is a sapphic horror novel – two women, both equally giving off bad vibes in very different ways – fall in love after meeting at a farmer’s market.

It sounds just precious, doesn’t it?

Side note: My husband was going to propose to me at a farmer’s market. And then, not knowing his plan, I managed to say something about public proposals being my worst nightmare. So he changed his plan to something more intimate. Anyway…

Don’t get too caught up in the meet-cute of this novel, because everything else is a fucking insecure, anxiety-ridden hellscape of awkwardness and red flags and infatuation, and then like some gross shit I won’t get into because it’s all a big fucked up spoiler.

And trust me when I say, you do not want this to be spoiled for you.

Ash is a mysterious waif who runs an apothecary stall at the weekend farmer’s market, where she sells decadent cupcakes, homemade soaps and lotions, candles, pottery and plants… and whatever else off-grid no-waste purists make. Shoes made out of bark? Hats made out of grass? I saw that on Naked and Afraid.

Rosemary has a PhD, is a literature professor and just got out of a 3-year relationship with a shitty guy. She sees herself as Ash’s opposite, and when they meet, there are immediate sparks and Ro finds herself obsessing over this ethereal beauty who is everything she’s not.

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Review: Strange Sally Diamond by Liz Nugent

★★★★½

Sandycove | 2023

Filed Under: I want to be where the people aren’t…

I don’t know, man, if my dad was like, “When I die, put me in the garbage,” and I really thought those were his genuine final wishes… maybe I would. I hope he doesn’t ask.

But, that is exactly how this novel opens, and from there the plot was nothing like I expected it to be… but that’s not a bad thing.

It’s an odd novel, but it’s also familiar. Sometimes it’s emotional, sometimes it’s very dark, sometimes it’s mysterious. It even made me laugh a handful of times. It’s just so charming and weird and blunt, much like the character of Sally Diamond herself. But is the tone all over the place? Yeah, it fucking is.

There is a strange but accessible world created within the pages, bringing vivid characters and a plot unlike anything I have read recently, and even though it seems like it should be in my usual genres, there’s so much about the writing style that sometimes felt just different enough that it added to the narrative’s complexity.

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Review: It’s One of Us by J.T. Ellison

★★★★½

Mira | 2023

Filed Under: Throw the whole man away.

Well, well, well, how the turntables…

I don’t know what that means here, I just wanted to quote Michael Scott. It’s not really relevant other than I’m high and The Office is on.

What I wanted to say is well, well, well! I think this may be my favourite standalone novel that J.T. Ellison has put out. Like ever. I mean, of all time.

Maybe that’s saying a lot? I don’t want to give myself too much status here, but I’ve been going around the Ellison track for a while and she’s always an auto-read author for me.

I’ve been reading Ellison for like fifteen years. And that’s ugh, oh god what is time? Where does it go? Cotton-Eyed Fucking Joe. So, fifteen years. One. Five. That’s that. And I feel like this novel is such a perfect example of an author just getting better and better.

There’s something special about this one. It starts out immediately with the prologue – the prose kicking everything off is seriously captivating. As you settle into the narrative, it feels more connected, more emotional and more honest than the typical domestic thriller. There is life here. The author clearly poured real emotions onto the page. And in the end, everything comes together with a perfect twist.

Did I like any of these characters? No, I didn’t. But I did like reading them and how they navigated this totally bananas Our Father-ish plot. But seriously, minus half a star because no one punched Park in the throat. I would have really loved to see that.

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Review: The Widowmaker (Black Harbor, #2) by Hannah Morrissey

★★★★

Minotaur Books | 2022

Filed Under: Nobody better lay a finger on my Butterfinger!

A snowy, fucked up mystery? Don’t mind if I do!

This is the second novel in a series, but it can totally be read as a standalone (definitely over Christmas if you want the full vibes,) because the town of Black Harbor is really what’s tying everything together, not the characters.

You say “harbour” (yes, with a u) and it will immediately make me wistful for living by the water with a chilled lake breeze, wearing chunky sweaters on the beach and maybe solving a cozy local mystery like I’m Jessica Fucking Fletcher. Someone bring around my pink classic cruiser bike with the basket on the front – I’m picking daisies and pursuing justice!

I need to stop getting high before writing reviews. Things really go off the rails pretty quickly.

Anyway, this novel has none of those cutesy, cozy things because the vibe is actually super fucking dark. Sorry, J. Fletch.

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Review: Yes, Daddy by Jonathan Parks-Ramage

★★★★

Mariner Books | 2021

Filed Under: Break glass in case of an emergency that requires gothic pulpy graphic writing

I said I wanted more gay thrillers and my book friends said fucking read Yes, Daddy, you bitch and now here we are.

So, I’ll say it to you too – read this fucking book.

It’s fucked up in the most perfect and twisted ways, to the point that it’s very powerful, not just wild. I promise you will not be able to put it down and you’ll be all like, “wtf is happening I’m so uncomfortable but I love it.”

This was like a gay Jeffrey Epstein meets Harvey Weinstein meets #MeToo meets the Republican party meets that church Justin Beiber goes to meets that scene in 8MM where Nicholas Cage goes to an underground porn market for all the really demented shit and the guy is dressed in leather, pinching his own nipples.

You get the vibe.

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Review: The Cadaver King and the Country Dentist – A True Story of Injustice in the American South by Radley Balko & Tucker Carrington

★★★★

Public Affairs | 2018

Filed Under: *flips a table and screams*

Well, shit.

This book is sobering AF.

It’s robust, in-depth and densely investigated from every angle, with the authors conducting over 200 interviews and reviewing thousands of pages of court documents to deftly present to readers all the ins and outs of a corrupt system.

I’m wholly impressed with this nonfiction account of Mississippi’s completely fucking horrific justice system and two men in particular who should be punched in the throat every time they step outside.

Like, top to bottom, what the actual fuck are we doing as a society that anything in this book was allowed to happen?

I took some time after reading this before writing my review because I needed to collect my thoughts and emotions – namely rage. Now that I’m sitting here writing this, I’m realizing I’ve actually not gathered myself at all and I’m back to confusion, rage and endless judgement.

Broadly, this book looks at bad forensics, racism in the justice system and shitty white men finding loopholes galore because of laws written by other shitty white men and other other shitty white men willing to cover asses to “get the job done,” so that in the end, all the shitty white men are richer and more powerful at the expense of truth, justice and innocent people’s freedom.

It’s absolutely fucking disgusting. But not surprising either.

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Review: Cackle by Rachel Harrison

“He fears me because he is small. I will not meet him there. I will not shrink myself down to his size, or anyone else’s, for their comfort. For their appeasement.”

★★★★

Berkely Books | 2021

Filed Under: Feminist Witch Bitch Lit

Don’t let the synopsis and marketing for this book fool you. This is not horror. This is not a thriller. This is a cozy semi-mystery with Gilmore Girls meets Practical Magic vibes and a feminist tilt.

While I might have been expecting horror initially, I adjusted my expectations and ended up really liking this. It’s fucking cute and reads like Rachel Harrison has found her writing niche with this novel.

I really liked Harrison’s first novel, The Return. That was definitely horror but with a heavy female-friendship theme that propelled the plot. Cackle follows in those footsteps, but abandons horror for delightful supernatural elements, like the friendly, top-hat-wearing spider that sleeps under a little blanket at night.