Review: The Writing Retreat by Julia Bartz

“That was the way of the world: if you were a woman, then you had a job to do, and that was to pretend to love everyone else walking all over your body, leaving imprints on your face. You were supposed to crave it, to beg for more.”

★★★★

Atria | 2023

Filed Under: “V is for this very surprising turn of events.”

Honestly, what the fuck was this?

But still – 4 stars.

This is one of the most ridiculous thriller novels I’ve ever read. It’s completely over-the-top, just off it’s fucking rocker. The plot read a dozen mainstream thrillers, burped and then said, “Hold my beer.”

And you just have to respect that.

All you ever hear is people complaining about remakes, reboots, how everything is the same and no one has an original thought in their head. Most thrillers and mysteries you read are, in some way, things you’ve read before with a different twist here and there. Then, when we finally get something original and outside the box, and people complain that it’s too weird or unbelievable.

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Review: Strange Sally Diamond by Liz Nugent

★★★★½

Sandycove | 2023

Filed Under: I want to be where the people aren’t…

I don’t know, man, if my dad was like, “When I die, put me in the garbage,” and I really thought those were his genuine final wishes… maybe I would. I hope he doesn’t ask.

But, that is exactly how this novel opens, and from there the plot was nothing like I expected it to be… but that’s not a bad thing.

It’s an odd novel, but it’s also familiar. Sometimes it’s emotional, sometimes it’s very dark, sometimes it’s mysterious. It even made me laugh a handful of times. It’s just so charming and weird and blunt, much like the character of Sally Diamond herself. But is the tone all over the place? Yeah, it fucking is.

There is a strange but accessible world created within the pages, bringing vivid characters and a plot unlike anything I have read recently, and even though it seems like it should be in my usual genres, there’s so much about the writing style that sometimes felt just different enough that it added to the narrative’s complexity.

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Review: It’s One of Us by J.T. Ellison

★★★★½

Mira | 2023

Filed Under: Throw the whole man away.

Well, well, well, how the turntables…

I don’t know what that means here, I just wanted to quote Michael Scott. It’s not really relevant other than I’m high and The Office is on.

What I wanted to say is well, well, well! I think this may be my favourite standalone novel that J.T. Ellison has put out. Like ever. I mean, of all time.

Maybe that’s saying a lot? I don’t want to give myself too much status here, but I’ve been going around the Ellison track for a while and she’s always an auto-read author for me.

I’ve been reading Ellison for like fifteen years. And that’s ugh, oh god what is time? Where does it go? Cotton-Eyed Fucking Joe. So, fifteen years. One. Five. That’s that. And I feel like this novel is such a perfect example of an author just getting better and better.

There’s something special about this one. It starts out immediately with the prologue – the prose kicking everything off is seriously captivating. As you settle into the narrative, it feels more connected, more emotional and more honest than the typical domestic thriller. There is life here. The author clearly poured real emotions onto the page. And in the end, everything comes together with a perfect twist.

Did I like any of these characters? No, I didn’t. But I did like reading them and how they navigated this totally bananas Our Father-ish plot. But seriously, minus half a star because no one punched Park in the throat. I would have really loved to see that.

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Review: In My Dreams I Hold A Knife by Ashely Winstead

“It turns out the real you is a quilt, made up of the light and the dark. The life you’ve lived in sunshine and your shadow life, stretching underneath the surface of your mind like a deep underwater world, exerting invisible power. You are a living, breathing story made up of the moments in time you cherish, all strung together, and those you hide. The moments that seem lost. Until the day they’re not.”

★★★★★

Sourcebooks Landmark | 2021

Filed Under: What fucking knife?! All I see are scissors!

Were you kind of a loser in school who now sometimes daydreams about going to a class reunion and showing all your stupid fucking peers that you’re now a cool adult with heavy “I don’t give a shit what you think anymore” vibes, even though you obviously do care or why would you even fantasize about triumphantly walking into the reunion to Venus by Bananarama like Romy and Michelle after they change into their blue and pink dresses?

No, me either.

Okay, but do you love twisted thrillers with vibrant, unlikeable characters who drive a plot with drama and secrets and murder and a little bit of oral sex? Hey, me too!

There was so much hype around this book that I was fully expecting to not like it because that’s usually how it works for me, but I was pleasantly proven wrong because I loved this.

It was so much fun and everybody was so awful in the most delicious ways that it’s a good time to hate them and watch bad shit happen.

If you want to binge-read a totally entertaining thriller over a weekend, then read this. Because, honestly, the only thing I didn’t like about it is that there are scissors on the cover next to the word knife. Thanks, I hate it.

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Review: Under Pressure (Lucas Page, #2) by Robert Pobi

“…social media was responsible in that it was continually etching lines of demarcation between every discernible demographic, cutting the social fabric into smaller and smaller swatches. And things were getting worse as people started seeing the world in terms of us versus them.”

★★★★★

Minotaur Books | 2020

Filed Under: That industrial system getting folks uppity again

The first book in the Lucas Page series by Robert Pobi, City of Windows, was one of my top reads of 2019. And, as you know, I’m fucking picky.

So, was it a fluke? Beginner’s luck? Fucking magic? And could Robert Pobi pull it off a second time with me? No, not that kind of pulling off. Anyway… I’m here to report that no, it wasn’t a fluke because this novel is just as fucking good, if not better, than its predecessor.

And Robert Pobi has me wrapped around his… finger. Finger! I was going to say finger! I never considered saying anything else.

What I’m trying to say is, I’m a fan and this is a bomb (pun intended) thriller/procedural.

I am begging you to give Pobi’s novels a chance. Put them on your TBR. Put them on your wish list. Put them on hold at your local library. Whatever you have to do, let’s get our shit together here. As thriller readers, we are sleeping on this author.

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Review: My Summer Darlings by May Cobb

★★★½

Berkley | 2022

Filed Under: Serial killers with BDE.

This novel is fucking ridiculous, but I read it in one sitting, staying up until 4am to finish it. I was exhausted and grumpy the next day, but I drank an iced coffee the size of my head as a remedy and then it was all worth it.

Win/win situation.

I just could not put this down even though it is kind of dumb… but dumb in a fun way. Like, it just made me happy how bananas the whole plot was. When book nerds say something is a popcorn read, this novel is the definition. It’s pure entertainment without any real rhyme or reason for why any of it is happening. You just know you’re having a good time.

This is Desperate Housewives meets Fatal Attraction meets The Boy Next Door.

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Review: Razorblade Tears by S.A. Crosby

“But if all of this has taught me one thing, it’s that it ain’t about me and what I get. It’s about letting people be who they are. And being who you are shouldn’t be a goddamn death sentence.”

★★★★★

Flatiron Books | 2021

Filed Under: Life is short, don’t be a fucking asshole.

Well, this ruined me emotionally, thanks so much.

Two men – an interracial married couple with a young daughter – are murdered in what appears to be a hate crime. Their fathers – Ike and Buddy Lee, boomers with nothing in common but anger and bigotry – seek out their sons’ killers under the influence of a maddening desire for revenge and their own redemption.

Oooh boy, talk about some heavy, emotional shit in this plot!

It nearly took me out, honestly. And I, like, never say that. I don’t mean that to be precocious or all teehee I’m dead inside. No seriously, I never say that about books.

I literally cried at the end. Cried. Me! Ugh, Razorblade Tears are no joke, baby!

Look, maybe you don’t know me well enough to understand that I am emotionally internal like 98% of the time, but really I would rather put a campfire out with my face than cry. It’s a nightmare for me to be visibly emotional. But of course, crying is good for you, so I will occasionally make plans for total privacy and then put on dog rescue videos to release some pressure on the valve, you know what I mean?

Or apparently, I’ll read the ending of this book.

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Review: Haus by P.J. Vernon

★★★★

Doubleday Books | 2021

Filed Under: Apparently, there’s not a lot of bathing in a bathhouse

Honestly, can we get more gay thrillers, please!

“Popular” mystery/thriller fiction is lacking in LGBTQ+ centred stories and we all know it or a book like this wouldn’t be such a breath of fresh air. And that makes no fucking sense to me, if reactions to this book are any indication – there is obviously an audience for these stories in the thriller world.

Like, the only difference between Bath Haus and a typical mainstream thriller is that the sex is hotter.

This novel was all juicy drama and twists, and I was totally enthralled. It was near perfection, except that it takes its sweet time hitting the gas in the plot. Like there’s a whole scene of a medical conference. Zzzz I don’t care. But once you get past the first 100 pages, the story really settles into its stride.

Oliver, a reformed drug addict with a shady past, and his doctor husband, Nathan, have a beautiful life from the outside – a gorgeous renovated home, money and successful careers. But just like a perfectly curated Instagram account, looks can be deceiving. Nathan is controlling and Oliver is bored. So as the saying goes, when the cat’s away the mice will play.

While Nathan is away at a conference, Oliver and his wandering eye take a trip to a private, sexy bathhouse called Haus. Oliver ends up being terrifyingly assaulted by a perspective hook-up and that’s when shit really goes off the rails.

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Review: Home Before Dark by Riley Sager

“Every house has a story. Ours is a ghost story. It’s also a lie. And now that yet another person has died within these walls, it’s finally time to tell the truth.”

★★★★

Dutton Books | 2020

Filed Under: I’m not in the habit of blaming Satan for every phenomenon

I wish this had fully been a horror story because, from the bottom of my bottom, I know Riley Sager could totally kill a haunted house horror novel.

But, this is like haunted house horror adjacent. It’s intentionally walking that line of fact or fiction, skepticism or belief. You never really know what you’re going to get with each new chapter.

Home Before Dark is a little bit spooky with a touch of Amityville vibes and lots of that signature Sager misdirection and twisty-twists. But it does read like more of a mystery-thriller.

When Maggie Holt’s father dies – totally unaware that her father still owns it – she inherits the haunted house she lived in for 15 days when she was 5 years old. She and her parents fled in the middle of the night from Baneberry Hall and never returned, claiming the house was going to murder them, basically. Her father even wrote a bestseller about it that gained the family national fame and scorn. Just like the real Amityville – who many believe was a long-con by the family – not everyone believes the Holt family’s claims. Not even Maggie.

Now a house-flipper and designer, Maggie was too young to really remember what happened, but she’s sure her father’s book is whole-ass bullshit. Any time she’s tried to get the truth from her parents they are dodgy and shady AF. Now her dad’s gone and her mom is all “I’m leaving for Paris!” so if Maggie wants the truth, she’ll need to search for it herself.

What is one to do with an abandoned haunted manor that probably holds the key to all Maggie’s questions? Flip it and sell it, obviously. But to do that, Maggie needs to move back in. And she’s like I ain’t afraid of no ghost! and she moves the fuck in even though her father used his final words to be like don’t fucking do that.

She did it.