Review: The Writing Retreat by Julia Bartz

“That was the way of the world: if you were a woman, then you had a job to do, and that was to pretend to love everyone else walking all over your body, leaving imprints on your face. You were supposed to crave it, to beg for more.”

★★★★

Atria | 2023

Filed Under: “V is for this very surprising turn of events.”

Honestly, what the fuck was this?

But still – 4 stars.

This is one of the most ridiculous thriller novels I’ve ever read. It’s completely over-the-top, just off it’s fucking rocker. The plot read a dozen mainstream thrillers, burped and then said, “Hold my beer.”

And you just have to respect that.

All you ever hear is people complaining about remakes, reboots, how everything is the same and no one has an original thought in their head. Most thrillers and mysteries you read are, in some way, things you’ve read before with a different twist here and there. Then, when we finally get something original and outside the box, and people complain that it’s too weird or unbelievable.

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Review: Bloom by Delilah S. Dawson

“She is obsessed, she is compelled, she is called. She is a selkie, and Ash has her skin. It’s infuriating and delicious and easy and challenging and tumultuous and she is hungry for more.”

★★★★

Titan Books | 2023

Filed Under: The cottagecore has rotted.

This is a sapphic horror novel – two women, both equally giving off bad vibes in very different ways – fall in love after meeting at a farmer’s market.

It sounds just precious, doesn’t it?

Side note: My husband was going to propose to me at a farmer’s market. And then, not knowing his plan, I managed to say something about public proposals being my worst nightmare. So he changed his plan to something more intimate. Anyway…

Don’t get too caught up in the meet-cute of this novel, because everything else is a fucking insecure, anxiety-ridden hellscape of awkwardness and red flags and infatuation, and then like some gross shit I won’t get into because it’s all a big fucked up spoiler.

And trust me when I say, you do not want this to be spoiled for you.

Ash is a mysterious waif who runs an apothecary stall at the weekend farmer’s market, where she sells decadent cupcakes, homemade soaps and lotions, candles, pottery and plants… and whatever else off-grid no-waste purists make. Shoes made out of bark? Hats made out of grass? I saw that on Naked and Afraid.

Rosemary has a PhD, is a literature professor and just got out of a 3-year relationship with a shitty guy. She sees herself as Ash’s opposite, and when they meet, there are immediate sparks and Ro finds herself obsessing over this ethereal beauty who is everything she’s not.

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Review: Strange Sally Diamond by Liz Nugent

★★★★½

Sandycove | 2023

Filed Under: I want to be where the people aren’t…

I don’t know, man, if my dad was like, “When I die, put me in the garbage,” and I really thought those were his genuine final wishes… maybe I would. I hope he doesn’t ask.

But, that is exactly how this novel opens, and from there the plot was nothing like I expected it to be… but that’s not a bad thing.

It’s an odd novel, but it’s also familiar. Sometimes it’s emotional, sometimes it’s very dark, sometimes it’s mysterious. It even made me laugh a handful of times. It’s just so charming and weird and blunt, much like the character of Sally Diamond herself. But is the tone all over the place? Yeah, it fucking is.

There is a strange but accessible world created within the pages, bringing vivid characters and a plot unlike anything I have read recently, and even though it seems like it should be in my usual genres, there’s so much about the writing style that sometimes felt just different enough that it added to the narrative’s complexity.

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Review: It’s One of Us by J.T. Ellison

★★★★½

Mira | 2023

Filed Under: Throw the whole man away.

Well, well, well, how the turntables…

I don’t know what that means here, I just wanted to quote Michael Scott. It’s not really relevant other than I’m high and The Office is on.

What I wanted to say is well, well, well! I think this may be my favourite standalone novel that J.T. Ellison has put out. Like ever. I mean, of all time.

Maybe that’s saying a lot? I don’t want to give myself too much status here, but I’ve been going around the Ellison track for a while and she’s always an auto-read author for me.

I’ve been reading Ellison for like fifteen years. And that’s ugh, oh god what is time? Where does it go? Cotton-Eyed Fucking Joe. So, fifteen years. One. Five. That’s that. And I feel like this novel is such a perfect example of an author just getting better and better.

There’s something special about this one. It starts out immediately with the prologue – the prose kicking everything off is seriously captivating. As you settle into the narrative, it feels more connected, more emotional and more honest than the typical domestic thriller. There is life here. The author clearly poured real emotions onto the page. And in the end, everything comes together with a perfect twist.

Did I like any of these characters? No, I didn’t. But I did like reading them and how they navigated this totally bananas Our Father-ish plot. But seriously, minus half a star because no one punched Park in the throat. I would have really loved to see that.

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Review: The Widowmaker (Black Harbor, #2) by Hannah Morrissey

★★★★

Minotaur Books | 2022

Filed Under: Nobody better lay a finger on my Butterfinger!

A snowy, fucked up mystery? Don’t mind if I do!

This is the second novel in a series, but it can totally be read as a standalone (definitely over Christmas if you want the full vibes,) because the town of Black Harbor is really what’s tying everything together, not the characters.

You say “harbour” (yes, with a u) and it will immediately make me wistful for living by the water with a chilled lake breeze, wearing chunky sweaters on the beach and maybe solving a cozy local mystery like I’m Jessica Fucking Fletcher. Someone bring around my pink classic cruiser bike with the basket on the front – I’m picking daisies and pursuing justice!

I need to stop getting high before writing reviews. Things really go off the rails pretty quickly.

Anyway, this novel has none of those cutesy, cozy things because the vibe is actually super fucking dark. Sorry, J. Fletch.

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Review: Under Pressure (Lucas Page, #2) by Robert Pobi

“…social media was responsible in that it was continually etching lines of demarcation between every discernible demographic, cutting the social fabric into smaller and smaller swatches. And things were getting worse as people started seeing the world in terms of us versus them.”

★★★★★

Minotaur Books | 2020

Filed Under: That industrial system getting folks uppity again

The first book in the Lucas Page series by Robert Pobi, City of Windows, was one of my top reads of 2019. And, as you know, I’m fucking picky.

So, was it a fluke? Beginner’s luck? Fucking magic? And could Robert Pobi pull it off a second time with me? No, not that kind of pulling off. Anyway… I’m here to report that no, it wasn’t a fluke because this novel is just as fucking good, if not better, than its predecessor.

And Robert Pobi has me wrapped around his… finger. Finger! I was going to say finger! I never considered saying anything else.

What I’m trying to say is, I’m a fan and this is a bomb (pun intended) thriller/procedural.

I am begging you to give Pobi’s novels a chance. Put them on your TBR. Put them on your wish list. Put them on hold at your local library. Whatever you have to do, let’s get our shit together here. As thriller readers, we are sleeping on this author.

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Review: My Summer Darlings by May Cobb

★★★½

Berkley | 2022

Filed Under: Serial killers with BDE.

This novel is fucking ridiculous, but I read it in one sitting, staying up until 4am to finish it. I was exhausted and grumpy the next day, but I drank an iced coffee the size of my head as a remedy and then it was all worth it.

Win/win situation.

I just could not put this down even though it is kind of dumb… but dumb in a fun way. Like, it just made me happy how bananas the whole plot was. When book nerds say something is a popcorn read, this novel is the definition. It’s pure entertainment without any real rhyme or reason for why any of it is happening. You just know you’re having a good time.

This is Desperate Housewives meets Fatal Attraction meets The Boy Next Door.

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Review: Razorblade Tears by S.A. Crosby

“But if all of this has taught me one thing, it’s that it ain’t about me and what I get. It’s about letting people be who they are. And being who you are shouldn’t be a goddamn death sentence.”

★★★★★

Flatiron Books | 2021

Filed Under: Life is short, don’t be a fucking asshole.

Well, this ruined me emotionally, thanks so much.

Two men – an interracial married couple with a young daughter – are murdered in what appears to be a hate crime. Their fathers – Ike and Buddy Lee, boomers with nothing in common but anger and bigotry – seek out their sons’ killers under the influence of a maddening desire for revenge and their own redemption.

Oooh boy, talk about some heavy, emotional shit in this plot!

It nearly took me out, honestly. And I, like, never say that. I don’t mean that to be precocious or all teehee I’m dead inside. No seriously, I never say that about books.

I literally cried at the end. Cried. Me! Ugh, Razorblade Tears are no joke, baby!

Look, maybe you don’t know me well enough to understand that I am emotionally internal like 98% of the time, but really I would rather put a campfire out with my face than cry. It’s a nightmare for me to be visibly emotional. But of course, crying is good for you, so I will occasionally make plans for total privacy and then put on dog rescue videos to release some pressure on the valve, you know what I mean?

Or apparently, I’ll read the ending of this book.