#HappyNewFears: My 2020 Bookish New Years Resolutions

Andddddddddd….I’m back! New decade, new blog post, new goals!

Tell me booknerds, how were your holidays?? Mine was busy and went by way too fast. I don’t feel like I relaxed at all, or was gifted anything to make me feel better about the amount of money I spent. I did, however, get drunk on Christmas Day for the first time in a decade. I stopped drinking-to-excess in college because I just do not like the feeling of being drunk and out of control, but somehow Christmas went off the rails for me. I think it was all of 2019 collapsing in on me.

You know how it goes: you’re making dinner so you pour a glass of wine. Cooking and wine go so well together that you’re not paying attention to how much alcohol you’re actually consuming. You’re getting wine-drunk so slowly that by the time you realize you officially passed the line of what’s acceptable in front of family two glasses ago, it’s too late. So you eat a bunch of crackers and cheese in a vain attempt to break down your blood-alcohol level, but you’ve had a bottle-and-a-half just to yourself! It’s over! You’re drunk! And now your mother-in-law starts saying things like, “I’m still on my first glass!” in this passively judgmental way, and your youngest stepkid is saying: “You’re fun when you’re drunk,” to the entire dinner table and you’re trying not slur when you respond, “I’m not drunk, I’m just a little buzzed. Issssaa not a big deal,”

You’re definitely drunk, and later, you try to vomit very quietly so no one hears how bad it actually was.

Anyway… next year I have to figure out a better way to do the holidays because it just seems to be a time-sucking money-pit at the moment. Also, will be nixing the drinking.

I didn’t do anything for New Years. I was all drink’d out for one, and am not interested in being outside passed 10 p.m. at my old age, so my husband and I stayed home, watched movies and he was promptly asleep by 10:30. I watched a scary movie and ate chocolate while Hubby and my pets slept around me like some snoring, easily penetrable fortress wall.

While I don’t care to celebrate the New Year, I am allllll about those “New Year, New Me” resolutions. I like fresh starts, I like the evolution of self and the commitment people make to be better. I like the optimism people get in January to change their lives, and I like the inevitable giving-up people do by February because then my gym goes back to being quiet with lots of free machines.

My resolutions for 2020 are all about physical health, where 2019 had been about my mental health. I feel like I made really big strides with personal growth as I stayed dedicated to regular therapy. I confronted my sexual assault PTSD and learned new acceptance of myself and life’s obstacles, and how to approach them without an “all or nothing” attitude that was constantly throwing me between one extreme and another.

While I tried to be good about exercise and diet, I could have been a lot more dedicated, so that’s where my focus is going to be for 2020 as I continue my journey to becoming the most enlightened and content version of myself that I can be.

For me to be content, I have to be reading. Does that mean I hit all my bookish resolutions from last year? HELL NO. I think most of them are the same this year because I failed so miserably. But as I’ve come to accept, failing is okay as long as you tried. It did try and I’ll continue to try this year too.

🔪Resolution #1

Increase my NetGalley rating by 30%.

Last year I picked a rating increase of 25%, up from my horrible standing of 35%.

This year I’m challenging myself even more, because where’s the fun in trying to do the same thing for a second time?

I’ve been REALLY GOOD about not requesting books on NetGalley, but my problem remains that I’m not really reading any of the books I have. And then I get emails from publishers etc, with links to NetGalley books they made available to me, so obviously I’m not going to ignore that. See? It’s obviously not my fault entirely!

The good news is that while I started 2019 at 35%, I only dropped down to 34% as of right now. That’s progress… ish!

🔪Resolution #2

Read nothing by James Patterson!

As my lovely friend Kal pointed out to me on Twitter, I SAY THIS EVERY YEAR.

My relationship with Patterson is complicated. Let’s see if I can boil it down for you… I don’t like his books.

Look at that, it was easier than I thought.

But seriously, I’ve been reading Patterson since I developed an interest in crime fiction and it’s been revealed to me through age, wisdom and reading superior authors, that Patterson is a multi-gazillionaire for reasons that are beyond my comprehension because he’s a terrible author.

And yet, I persist in listening to his work on audio because it’s fast, mindless and an easy tick mark to count towards that ever looming Goodreads goal.

But this year, I SWEAR, I will not stoop to that level just for the goal progress. I will have some goddamn dignity!!!

🔪Resolution #3

DNF books I’m not enjoying.

With my Patterson resolution in mind, I’m going to take it one step further and say that I’m not going force myself to power through books I’m not enjoying.

I spend so much time in reading slumps because a current read is a slog, instead of just moving on to things that make reading time fly by.

And yes, I also said this last year. I did DNF one book in 2019 because it was a dildo-fuelled nightmare masquerading as a crime novel, but I think I need to adjust my bar for when I decide to move on from a book. Not everything is going to be unexpected strap-ons.

Hopefully this will stop me from editing my Goodreads goal because I’ve been procrastinating so much.

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These feel like doable, solid goals that won’t overwhelm me or require too much extra effort outside of the time and love I already put into reading. It’s more about changing my habits into something positive with less Patterson.

Honestly, if you see me post anything about Patterson, I give you permission to virtually kick me in the baby-maker until I get my shit together.

What are you resolutions? Both bookish and not? Let’s catch up!

Stay safe. Be Kind. But, take no shit.

Later, Booknerds ✌️🔪