Review: Her Last Day (Jessie Cole, #1) by T.R. Ragan

★★★

Thomas & Mercer | 2017

Filed Under: All tell, no show

I hate writing reviews for novels that didn’t get me fired up one way or the other.

Gushing reviews are easy. Angry reviews are fun.

But a blah review?

I mean, blah doesn’t give me the creative spark to live up to my potential as a sassy reviewer ’round these parts.

Sooooo yeaahhhhh… I’m having a hard time deciding how I feel about this offering by T.R. Ragan.

You’ve got all the makings of success in my eyes: A female P.I., a personal mystery, an interesting sub-plot and a serial killer on the loose.

Those are some big plot lines that have half the magic built right into them, all the author needs to do is throw in a little glitter and fire. Somehow this novel manages to be just okay — it’s just not sparkling, baby!

I see a lot of reviews calling it a fast-paced thriller, and um…

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Review: Never Never (Detective Harriet Blue, #1) by James Patterson & Candice Fox

★★½

Century | 2016

Filed Under: More like Sometimes Sometimes

Literally, two of my three book-related New Year’s resolutions for 2018 were to stop reading James Patterson, and I’ve already failed. It’s only March! What is wrong with me?!

Don’t answer that.

My only consolation is that this wasn’t totally fucking awful.

Candice Fox is an excellent writer on her own. She’s obviously the reason this book is at least relatively well written, but it’s still an emotional flatliner that is full of logic-holes.

It maintains the typical Patterson style of short chapters and colourful characters who lack depth, plus the usual “detective chasing a serial killer” plot that doesn’t attempt to bring anything new to the genre.

But what this book does have, which other Patterson novels don’t, is more realistic dialogue and a female lead that doesn’t irritate me when she calls everyone “butterfly” and has to hug her friends because she hasn’t seen them for a whole five minutes *cough Women’s Murder Club cough*

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Review: Seventh Grave and No Body (Charley Davidson, #7) by Darynda Jones

★★★½

St. Martin’s Press | 2014

Filed Under: Blow jobs as portals to otherworldly secrets

So, in this instalment we follow our hero (sans coffee — the horror!) as she balances running from the 12 hell hounds sent to kill her, trying to solve a Friday The 13th style mystery, testing her growing abilities, learning more about whether she’s going to save or destroy the world as per the big ole prophecy, dealing with being pregnant, and of course, delving deeper into her dysfunctional relationship with Reyes.

At this point, fans pretty much know what they’re going to get when they pick up a Charley book. There’s not a lot to say about this series that hasn’t already been said, or can’t be said exclusively with gifs and some swear words.

Also, I don’t like pregnant Charley.

Babies ruin everything. There. I said it.

If the overall prophecy arc has been a favourite part of this series for you, then you’re in luck! We learn so much more about what the fuck is really going on, including all that Charley is capable of and what her destiny is shaping up to be.

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Review: Sixth Grave on the Edge (Charley Davidson, #6) by Darynda Jones

★★★★½

St. Martin’s Press | 2014

Filed Under: Team Mr. Wong!

I feel like this book is a watershed moment for the series. If you’ve been loving the ride so far, this instalment is going to test just how invested you really are in sticking it out with Charley.

If you’ve been iffy about Charley — whether you like her and her constant slapstick bullshit — then this book is going to be what tips you over the edge to one side or the other.

It is not your typical Charley Davidson novel. If you’re expecting to find a PI case that Charley takes from beginning to end… sorry, but no. There is a lot going on, a lot of defining moments, a lot of new plot threads that are introduced for the future of the series, and one hell of a cliffhanger.

(Seriously, the seventh book was available for download from my library and I borrowed that shit immediately after finishing this.)

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Review: The Girls in the Water (Detectives King and Lane, #1) by Victoria Jenkins

★★★★

Bookouture | 2017

Filed Under: This is why I don’t jog.

There’s just something about smart, in-charge females solving violent crimes against other females perpetrated by men with psycho fucking issues, that really rocks my bits.

I was super excited to read this new series by Victoria Jenkins for that very reason, and I have to say, it didn’t disappoint.

This is a really promising start for a new author and new series.

In Wales, a jogger finds the body of a woman floating in the river, as joggers are wont to do. DI Alex King and DC Chloe Lane are called to the scene. It seems almost as soon as the first body is found, a second body turns up. Serial killers are working 9-5 and overtime, baby!

Let’s talk characters: The thing about these two ladies is that they are in fact two ladies. Unique and given equal time to develop — though they have much more room to grow in their definitions for follow-up stories. Their histories, their emotions, their life circumstances — it is not surface or cliché or redundant. They feel like two purposefully drawn characters who practice support of each other. Women need to have each other’s backs instead of infighting, and I loved that this book clearly demonstrates that sisterhood, even in difficult circumstances, even in the same job, even when they don’t understand each other’s motives or reactions.

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Review: Fifth Grave Past the Light (Charley Davidson, #5) by Darynda Jones

★★★★

St. Martin’s Press | 2013

Filed Under: Reyes is awful, I don’t get it

You guyssssssssssss, I love Charley! Sincerely, I have massive amounts of affection for her.

I wish she was my friend, but she’s not real, so… We could get drinks together, gossip about people (both alive and dead), maybe get high in our pyjamas and then pass out watching Rick & Morty.

She’s just honestly one of my favourite female characters.

And really, you don’t even need to read this series from the beginning to get into it, (but it does help.) You can jump in whenever and immediately know Charley. Because her voice and her personality are clear and genuine from the beginning. Darynda Jones has her figured out and never wavers from that cannon truth.

This time around Charley is dealing with a lot and it starts from page one. A cheating husband, gunfire, being confronted by the police about how exactly she manages to solve cases the way that she does. Not to mention, her apartment is filled with dozens of dead blonde women who may, or may not, have been killed by a serial killer. They are the worst houseguests too – climbing her walls (literally), hanging from the ceiling (also, literally), straight-up ignoring her requests to communicate but then also getting in the shower with her. Like you do.

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Review: The Ice Beneath Her by Camilla Grebe

★★★★

Ballantine Books | 2016

Filed Under: RUN BITCH RUN

Holy Nordic crime fiction, Batman!

OKAY, please completely ignore that I started this book review with a holy batman exclamation. I am high and it was playing on a loop in my head, so I had to say it.

If you’re a fan of the aforementioned genre, you will absolutely love this novel, I promise. Nordic crime fiction is always hit or miss for me, but this one by Camilla Grebe is a hit.

Let’s start our bookworm asses at the beginning, shall we? (Also, do worms have asses?)

An unidentified, decapitated woman is found in the bed of a moderately famous, very wealthy CEO. And he, Jesper Orre, has seemingly disappeared. He’s not a fucking magician, so what the fuck?

DI Peter Lindgren is the lead detective on the case. He’s a despondent, sullen character. He has an ex-wife who hates him and a troubled teenage son whose issues could probably be traced back to his ongoing search for a connection with his father. Only time and again, he finds that Peter has been, and always will be, more interested in his job than his family. It’s a tale as old as crime fiction itself.

You can take the detective off the job, but you can’t take the job off the detective…? That doesn’t make sense. Never mind.

Also lending their insight to the narrative is Hanne. She’s a former criminal profiler who had to leave her career behind after the effects of her early-onset dementia left her unable to do her job to the best of her ability. She’s stuck in a loveless marriage with a controlling man, and can’t even trust her own mind. So, when she’s asked to consult on the case of the headless woman, she says fuck it and finds her strength to make the leap into independence, despite her illness.

We love a badass, independent woman around here. Hanne keeps her badass-ittude very classy and understated. And I totally aspire to that. But for now, I’m a messy swamp demon made of contradictions. But still… I’m aspiring.

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