Review: Never Never (Detective Harriet Blue, #1) by James Patterson & Candice Fox

★★½

Century | 2016

Filed Under: More like Sometimes Sometimes

Literally, two of my three book-related New Year’s resolutions for 2018 were to stop reading James Patterson, and I’ve already failed. It’s only March! What is wrong with me?!

Don’t answer that.

My only consolation is that this wasn’t totally fucking awful.

Candice Fox is an excellent writer on her own. She’s obviously the reason this book is at least relatively well written, but it’s still an emotional flatliner that is full of logic-holes.

It maintains the typical Patterson style of short chapters and colourful characters who lack depth, plus the usual “detective chasing a serial killer” plot that doesn’t attempt to bring anything new to the genre.

But what this book does have, which other Patterson novels don’t, is more realistic dialogue and a female lead that doesn’t irritate me when she calls everyone “butterfly” and has to hug her friends because she hasn’t seen them for a whole five minutes *cough Women’s Murder Club cough*

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Review: Final Girls by Riley Sager

★★★★★

Dutton | 2017

Filed Under: When a novel makes you with “Tom Cruise jump on a couch” joy.

It’s my birthday and I’m King of the World!

Okay, it’s not my birthday, nor am I a king, but that’s how this book makes me FEEL.

I’m not going to shame other people for their opinions on this one, but I will say if you didn’t like it, I truly believe you missed the beauty of what Riley Sager did here.

But, still, no judgment. I respect you all, I’m just a little bit in love with this novel. But also you’re wrong.

At Pine Cottage, ten years earlier, Quincy Carpenter emerged from the woods, bloody and screaming, the only survivor of a murderous massacre. We’re talking slasher-flick-sized proportions. The only problem is, in present-day, Quincy has repressed all memories of that night. She has no idea what happened.

By surviving this horrific event, Quincy becomes a member of a very exclusive club, dubbed in the media as The Final Girls.

“Final girls is film-geek speak for the last woman standing at the end of a horror movie.”

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Review: White Bodies by Jane Robins

★★★½

Atria Books | 2017

Filed Under: Eating teeth and hair like a goddamn appetizer.

If you’ve ever wanted to eat your sister’s hair, this book is for you.

Or if you just like reading twisty novels about obsession with a dose of weirdness, then definitely try this. I will in no way assume it’s because you also eat your sister’s hair.

This novel has a decidedly bleak, gloomy and unsettled atmosphere hanging over it, with a noir quality that is subtle, but evident. Combine that with twins and the “murder exchange” trope, and you’ve got yourself something that can only fail in its clichés.

Callie is the ugly twin. Tilda is the beautiful one. I’m going to be honest, they both have serious mental health issue — even if Tilda wants to play like only Callie does. Callie is a quiet, meek follower. Tilda is a leader, controlling and determined.

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