Book Tag: The Liebster Award, Take Three

I am only doing this again because Grey @ Use Your Words gave me a bonus nomination from my nomination of her. “You’re my boy, blue!”

How can I resist an opportunity to run my mouth, maybe talk some shit and avoid doing my actual job this morning? I can’t! I have almost zero self-control! It’s why I’ve started and stopped diets like a million times this year! ZERO SELF-CONTROL. So, let’s take advantage of this terrible personality trait!

lazy 30 rock GIFLiterally me.

Sidenote: If you’re not following Grey’s blog or Insta, you are missing out. Thoughtful reviews, personal commiserating and beautiful pictures. Get your head out of your ass and 👏check👏 her👏 out👏

Continue reading “Book Tag: The Liebster Award, Take Three”

Review: The Breakdown by B.A. Paris

31450633★★

Opening Hook: Can’t a person just sit in their car anymore without being murdered?

Main Character: She is the Toby to my Michael Scott

Plot Twisty-ness: A predictable anxiety-fest


I’m pretty sure me and B.A. Paris need to break up.

I read and kind of enjoyed Behind Closed Doors, but I was not over the moon about it like most other reviewers were. Even now, when I think back on that reading experience the only things I remember are that 1) the main character was super annoying, and 2) *spoiler alert* it’s totally ridiculous to believe that a high-powered attorney who works 60+ hour weeks on huge cases, would also have enough time to be that on the fucking nose when it came to keeping his wife hostage.

You don’t want the things a reader remembers about your book to be just the illogical, annoying bits.

And I’m afraid The Breakdown is going to be another exercise in this for me.

B.A. Paris seems to have a habit of writing the most annoying female main characters – dumb, slow-on-the-upswing and insecure – who are married to the most obviously untrustworthy men. I can’t be the only one who is seeing the perfect, loving and thoughtful husband routine as completely shady? Maybe it’s because I’m married and 100% woke to the fact that even the most romantic of men are not going to be perfect. If they are, they are trying to bamboozle you, bitch!

Continue reading “Review: The Breakdown by B.A. Paris”

Music Monday: Rage Against the Machine – Killing in the Name

Monday, you whore!

Warning: This is not a bookish post. 

So, I know I usually try to do a Music Monday that is inspired by whatever book I’m currently reading (Pretty Ugly Lies and The Breakdown, btw,) but with the U.S. Midterms looming tomorrow, I can’t seem to focus on anything else but that. I’m serious. It’s an addiction. I’ll need to be sedated tomorrow.

I am literally at work right now with all-day news coming through my earbuds. My husband complained over the weekend that all I ever had on was the news so he wasn’t going to be hanging out with me until the midterms were over.

AND I’M CANADIAN.

You might ask yourself, why, as a Canadian don’t I mind my fucking business and focus on my own country? Good question, rude way of asking it though. But, I’ll tell you.

Continue reading “Music Monday: Rage Against the Machine – Killing in the Name”

Review: Guess Who by Chris McGeorge

“Today, we are going to be playing a little game of Murder.”

36162116★★★½

Opening Hook: Basically a classic Kesha song

Main Character: If Maury and Robert Stack had a baby, but that baby was drunk all the time

Plot Twisty-ness: Jigsaw would be proud


I went into this novel with every intention of loving it completely. I swear to Thor. But okay, obviously I didn’t completely get there. Story of my life. No one is shocked.

Guess Who started off as a five-star read until I passed the halfway mark and that’s when things fell off the chart. For the first half of the book, it is very much SAW meets Clue, just minus the horror element. But it does create a sinister, frantic pace and tone that definitely had me hooked. It’s a locked-room mystery that feels both extravagant and desperate at first, at that definitely worked for me in a totally non-sexual sexual way.

Morgan Sheppard is a TV star who has made a living doing a Maury meets Unsolved Mysteries-style show called Resident Detective. As a child, he solved the murder of his math teacher and created a very successful career riding (read: exploiting) that wave. Through his fame, he’s turned into an alcoholic, drug addict and womanizer. The only problem is, Sheppard has been full of shit for a very long time. And someone knows it. And someone hates him.

Continue reading “Review: Guess Who by Chris McGeorge”

Book Tag: What Spoopy Creature Are You? (#Blogoween)

Trick or Treat, bitches!

Tomorrow is Halloween! And that means Blogoween is officially over *whomp whomp*

While I mourn one, I’m excited about the other. Specifically, I’m excited to hand out some candy so that there’s less of it in my house. Because I’ll be honest, we bought three 120 piece boxes from Costco, and a lot of it is gone. I just want to come clean about that. Between myself, my husband and the one kid still at home we did a number on that goddamn candy.

unbreakable kimmy schmidt candy GIF

It’s shameful and embarrassing and I had to buy another 100 pieces to make sure I don’t run out tomorrow. At least it was on sale??? #shame

Tonight, we’re going to see the new Halloween (have you seen it? did you love it?) because it’s a top 5 favourite movie series of mine. And then tomorrow we’ll watch whatever scary movies are streaming and hand out candy to all the cute little kids and the questionably-aged teenagers.

But today, I’m doing Bookwyrming Thought’s quiz to find out which spoopy creature is actually my spirit animal when the moon rises.

I’m inclined to think it’s a something like an anti-social witch or a smart-ass demon, but we’ll see.

Continue reading “Book Tag: What Spoopy Creature Are You? (#Blogoween)”

Review: The Flight Attendant by Chris Bohjalian

“A smart girl is nobody’s pushover and nobody’s foe. A smart girl is both sword and smile.” 

35506211★★

Opening Hook: I woke up like this (next to a dead body)

Main Character: Barely sober, mostly stupid

Plot Twisty-ness: Only twisty because she’s drunk and dizzy


Oh, boy this is super disappointing.

The Flight Attendant had been on my radar for a while. Maybe I should have paid more attention to the other reviews on the matter, but my ability to make a snap decision based on a good synopsis has been my downfall once again.

All I saw was “she wakes up next to a dead body,” and I was 100% on board with this. (That was a genuinely subtle plane pun.)

But Omigod, it was not at all what I was hoping it would be. The kick-off has so much promise to be suspenseful and thrilling, but it didn’t end up working for me.

I knew it was a thriller. But no one warned me that this was a spy thriller. Jesus, take the wheel! I don’t think I have ever liked a spy thriller. As Peter Griffin would say, they insist upon themselves.

It is my personal opinion that spy thrillers only work on screen because at least the ridiculousness of the storyline can be matched with action sequences and it all balances out in that over-the-top framework.

Despite the opening of Cassie, The Drunk Flight Attendant, waking up next to a dead body after another one-night stand caught my attention, this novel really devolved after that into a spy thriller format that left little for me to be interested in because I found it all to be cheesy and silly.

“It was just like so many of the other times she had woken up naked and hungover in bed with a guy, with only the slightest idea how she had gotten there – except this time the guy was dead.”

Brace for some mild spoiler-y complaining…

Continue reading “Review: The Flight Attendant by Chris Bohjalian”

Book Tag: The Versatile Blogger Award

Happy Hump Day, Nerdos!

I’m like 80% sure I’m coming down with a cold, so my brain is basically sleepy mush today and I had no idea what kind of post I’d be able to write that wasn’t completely half-assed.

And honestly, I don’t want to put out half-assed stuff. I’d rather post less often with high quality (for me) stuff then post daily with shit I’m just tossing out there, hoping it sticks.

Thankfully, Dora @ Swift Coffee has given me the perfect out for today by nominating me for the Versatile Blogger Award!

The Versatile Blogger Award.png

I have no idea what that means, but I’m grateful!

Honestly, while we’re on it, I never have any idea what most of these blogger award tags are for. Best Actor? Best Director? Worst Blowjob Scene?

What we need is some description of what these awards are far, what was the qualifying criteria? Am I to assume I’m versatile in some way? Because I can assure you, I am not. I’m a fickle, stubborn, cranky bitch who is very difficult to please and if you change plans on me last minute I’m gonna throw a fit.

i suck chris farley GIF

But here we are… Versatile Awards for me!

Continue reading “Book Tag: The Versatile Blogger Award”

Review: Wychwood (Wychwood, #1) by George Mann

Image result for wychwood george mann★★★

Opening Hook: Killer and Killee (?) running through the woods, Jason style.

Main Character: Drinks a shit load of tea

Plot Twisty-ness: Like a half-assed pretzel.


I’m wavering between 2 and 3 stars for this one because on one hand, it’s not a bad book. The writing is good, the characters don’t suck, the setting is kind of spooky and the crimes were unique, not something I’d ever read about before.

But then on the other hand, if I think about it, this book was super formulaic, there was nothing different about the plotting, the villain’s reveal. And although the crimes were in-depth and thought out with great detail, the ending was also pretty predictable (read: typical.)

Nothing about this book was outside the box, which is disappointing because it had every opportunity to be considering it was working with a partly supernatural storyline.

It came across to me like George Mann had read a bunch of mediocre crime fiction and decided those examples are how you plot a mystery, or is how a journalist would get wrapped up in the case. And I’m not even mad about it because I thought all of that for a long time too, so I get why it happens.

It’s kind of like movies scenes that we’ve seen a hundred times, but we know for real that they never happen in real life but we rarely question what we’re watching.

Why does the mother keep preparing a glorious breakfast feast for the kids/father/pets, just for them to only take one bite and then run out the door? Or why do so many people dream of being kissed by a beautiful woman only to wake up and realize it’s the dog licking their face. Or someone calls with terrible news and instead of explaining it, they say “turn on the news!” and when they do it just so happens to be at the very beginning of the event so you get all the pertinent details.

Continue reading “Review: Wychwood (Wychwood, #1) by George Mann”

Review: Ink and Bone by Lisa Unger

“Never talk to strangers. If someone ever tries to take you, fight with everything you have. Scream as loud as you can. (He’d never told her what to do if the man was too strong and there was no one to hear her screaming.)”

27276336★★★

Opening Hook: Tediously attention-grabbing

Main Character: I see dead people-ing it

Plot Twisty-ness: How twisty can it be when everyone is a goddamn psychic?


I don’t know why I keep trying books with psychic characters, because I never like them.

Also, apparently this could technically be considered part of series called The Hollows, but I have zero experience with Lisa Unger or that series, so perhaps that’s why I’m not as jazzed about this book as other people have been.

This does read like a standalone for all intents and purposes, though.

Basically what you have here is a twenty-something who is a developing psychic, so she goes to live with her grandmother, who is an experienced psychic, to get her psychic abilities up to snuff. While she’s doing her psychic-training she starts to hear a persistent noise – squeak, clink – and her psychic grandmother is all, “that’s your psychic gift telling you to start doing psychic shit,” so she gets onto the case of a missing child, who has some psychic connections in her own life.

Basically, everyone is a goddamn psychic.

surprised mind reading GIF

And I’m not sure how a town full of psychics hasn’t been able to find the answer to “where’d that kid go?” but they haven’t and everyone is distressed; marriages are falling apart and life is just generally terrible.

Continue reading “Review: Ink and Bone by Lisa Unger”

Booknerd Wednesday: Haunted Libraries (#Blogoween)

Happy Hump Day, ghouls and ghosts!

Halloween is getting closer with each passing day and I’m so excited about it that I’ve literally been living off of pumpkin pie and bite-sized candy for the last week.

…I don’t feel good.

So, while I try to maintain a normal blood-sugar level, it’s time for another #Blogoween post!

What is Blogoween, you ask? Well, I’ll damn-well tell you. It’s a month-long celebration of Halloween on your blog with daily prompts and different levels of post commitment. Find out how to sign up for the Blogoween event here. And a list of all the prompts is here.BLOGOWEENLOGO1

Today’s prompt was local haunted hot spots. Turns out that my area isn’t exactly hopping with good ghost stories, from what I can google/gather, so I decided to take the prompt and turn into something a little bit more suited for Booknerd Wednesday.

Today we’re going to check out some of the most haunted libraries around the world!

ghost ghostbusters GIF

Whether you believe in ghosts or not is completely irrelevant. We’re not here to discuss the merits of life after death. Although I will say, once people start reporting ghosts whispering “it’s Britney, bitch,” and “what’s the wifi password?” I might give a little bit more credence to the idea.

Continue reading “Booknerd Wednesday: Haunted Libraries (#Blogoween)”