Review: They Never Learn by Layne Fargo

“He wasn’t afraid of me…That was his first mistake.”

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★★★★½

Gallery/Scout Press | 2020

Filed Under: A stress ball shaped like balls.


You’ll have to excuse me – I’m coming off of a conversation today where I learned some very disturbing things about two friends of a friend who are both going through new separations from their husbands. When I tell you both of these ladies are being emotionally abused and mistreated by pieces of TRASH – ugh. So anyway, my feminist rage is absolutely chaotic at the moment and that might come out in this review.

Why? Because this novel is a dark, feminist revenge fantasy and it was amazing.

It’s Dexter meets Hard Candy meets Thelma and Louise.

I fucking loved it. Let’s drive over the cliff, baby! But let’s kill some fucking sexist bastards before we go!

If that sounds like your kind of thing, please read this novel. It’s deeply satisfying.

“Killing a man is so much more satisfying than fucking a man could ever be.”

Scarlett Clarke is an English professor at Gorman University by day, and by night she’s a serial killer. So fun. We all need hobbies. Much like Dexter, Scarlett only targets those that she believes deserve to be murdered – however much someone can deserve to be murdered is an abstract moral question that we just do not have time to get into around here. I have things to do.

Continue reading “Review: They Never Learn by Layne Fargo”

DNF Mini-Review Dump💩: That Birds that Stay and The Year of the Witching

Just like my mini-reviews for books that I can’t find the will to write full reviews for, I’m going to lump together my DNF reviews, as well. Because, seriously, why would I devote a whole blog post to a book a couldn’t even devote full reading time to?

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Today’s DNF reviews:

  • The Birds that Stay (Russell and Leduc, #1) by Ann Lambert
  • The Year of the Witching (Bethel, #1) by Alexis Henderson

Buckle up for snark, bitches.

Continue reading “DNF Mini-Review Dump💩: That Birds that Stay and The Year of the Witching”

Mini-Review Dump💩: The Girl on Mill Street, The 20th Victim, The Only Good Indians and Killing for Sport – Inside the Minds of Serial Killers

As I continue on my quest to finally catch up on all my backlog reviews, here is another block of them for books that were just blah or meh or ugh. You’re welcome.

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Reviews in this post:

  • The Girl on Mill Street by Peter Gilboy
  • The 20th Victim (Women’s Murder Club, #20) by James Patterson and Maxine Paetro
  • The Only Good Indians by Stephen Graham Jones
  • Killing For Sport: Inside the Minds of Serial Killers by Pat Brown
Continue reading “Mini-Review Dump💩: The Girl on Mill Street, The 20th Victim, The Only Good Indians and Killing for Sport – Inside the Minds of Serial Killers”

Mini-Review Dump💩: A Good Marriage, When No One is Watching, Rewind and Come Closer

I’ve been agonizing over this for a while. And maybe I shouldn’t have been, because in the grand scheme of this thing called a simulation life, it doesn’t fucking matter at all. I know that. I get it. I’m hip.

But, we’re in a pandemic and I’ve been essentially stuck inside my house since March 2020, so I need to keep myself busy somehow. Stressing out over shallow shit is the point I’ve officially reach to occupy my mind. And also, maybe I can’t help it because my mental health is in crisis and I snap at literally anything. Woo!

It’s been difficult for me in this disheartening, upside down multiverse timeline we find ourselves in, to work up the motivation and energy to write and post my backlog reviews. When I think about doing it, I just get so…

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It occurred to me this might be because half of the backlog waiting for me is for books that didn’t really fire me up either way. One thing about me as a hobby-reviewer is that I need all the love or all the hate to enjoy writing a review. All these meh reviews are a damn slog to write.

But I still have to do them. This is a book blog. That’s kind of a large percentage of the point of this. But it’s also supposed to be a fun hobby, not work I dread. I have a job I’m late for every day already and I don’t need another. I’m making exactly zero dollars here, so this has to be a good time or I might as well delete the whole thing. And I’m not prepared to delete this site.

My solution – which came to me during my regular “stand in the shower and be depressed” morning ritual – is to just group together some books into one post of little baby reviews. It will be for meh reviews, short stories, novellas… anything that I don’t want to, or can’t, dedicate a whole post to.

Hopefully, I can make this post idea work and it doesn’t suck dick.

I’m still not sure about how to organize it or how to title it so you know what you’re getting, but I’ll work it out. Or I won’t. Who knows? Again, nobody is paying me so you get what you get.

So, I’ll stop rambling like a food blogger now and just get to the point.

Continue reading “Mini-Review Dump💩: A Good Marriage, When No One is Watching, Rewind and Come Closer”

Review: Dark August by Katie Tallo

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★★★½

HarperCollins | 2020

Filed Under: A Polite Canadian


I normally wouldn’t pick up a book like this because it’s thicc and sounds more like a contemporary with hints of suspense, but it’s set around my hometown in Niagara, Ontario so how and why would I pass up reading that? Obviously, I wouldn’t because here we are.

Do you know how many books are based in the Niagara area? Like, one. This one. Why? Because let’s get real, Niagara isn’t a thriving metropolis.

Maybe it used to be, but by the time I left most areas had nicknames like “the armpit of Niagara” or “the butthole of Niagara.”

Where did I live? The fucking taint. 

Like a taint, this novel is dark and gloomy; a family mystery wrapped around some community politics.

Augusta “Gus” Monet is basically a poor, aimless girl with little to her name and an abusive, shady AF boyfriend. When her grandmother dies, Gus comes into a little (seriously, very little) inheritance in the form of her grandmother’s house and whatever is inside of it, including an old dog named Levi. And the dog is honestly the best part of the whole novel, but I did spend a lot of time being paranoid something terrible was going to happen to him. If you’re the kind of person (like me) who needs to know if the dog dies going into a story, let me know and I’ll totally spoil it for you, no questions asked.

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Continue reading “Review: Dark August by Katie Tallo”

Mystery/Thriller Releases for Q2 of 2021

Alright, listen. to write this post I’m pulling myself away from a very riveting conversation about a co-worker pretending to be engaged to a Bald Eagle.

I can’t get into details really, but she had a ring. Just know my entire body is buzzing with joy because the bird lady is just so pure and simple and strange. We need more of that in a world that is filled with 24/7 news about terrible shit.

Speaking of terrible shit, the last time I did a new release post it was the beginning of 2021 and we were quickly approaching the one-year anniversary of this pandemic. We were talking about mental health issues and reaching a breaking point, or that maybe you were feeling hopeful it was almost over as the vaccine rollout got underway.

Now here we are, half-way into April and I don’t know about you, but things have only gotten worse in Canada. Currently we’re in our third lockdown and second stay-at-home-order in Ontario. There are riots in Quebec over curfews that are now in discussion to hit Ontario . And getting a vaccine?! Fucking forget about it. The vaccine rollout in Canada is absolute trash. NO ONE KNOWS WHAT THEY’RE FUCKING DOING.

*deep breath*

It’s really starting to feel like Spring 2020: The Redux and I just…

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Anyway, since we’re most definitely heading into another pandemic summer of doing nothing at home once again, now seems like the best time to add even more books to our ever-growing TBRs.

All last spring and summer I spent almost every weekend renovating my backyard and creating huge garden beds that I only regret a little bit. So this year, my intention is to sit in my hammock and read every chance I get. Like, I should probably enjoy the backyard I poured so much money and sweat into.

Note to self: Buy a hammock.

Anyway, this is obviously not a comprehensive list of new releases, because I do not have the fucking time for that, but it’ll start us off and get us through until July. And there are some books on here I am hella excited about.

Get in losers, we’re doing curbside pickup!

Continue reading “Mystery/Thriller Releases for Q2 of 2021”

Review: The Little Sleep (Mark Genevich, #1) by Paul Tremblay

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★★½

Holt McDougal | 2009

Filed Under: A Narcoleptic Fever Dream


I’ve tried a couple of times, with different authors, to read this kind of hard-boiled, noir private detective story and… it’s just not for me.

That’s putting it nicely, which is unusual for me.

So, to put it not so nicely, I think this particular genre is supposed to come across as classic, intense and pulpy serious. The private dick is a man of the streets and a man of law. He’s balancing his day-to-day life against the seedy underbelly he’s wrapped up in as he seeks justice and upholds the law by sometimes playing outside of its lines. Ugh, so gritty and dark.

But to me, it’s fucking goofy as hell.

All I can think about it “Fast Talking High Trousers.”

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You can’t tell me I’m wrong! You can’t!

But supposing I was…

Continue reading “Review: The Little Sleep (Mark Genevich, #1) by Paul Tremblay”

It’s A Fucking “Murder Mystery Party” Giveaway!

*NOW CLOSED*

Hey Nerds! This is fun and different, so let’s get right into it.

I was contacted by Chris, the creator and owner of Murder Mystery Party, about teaming up to bring you all a giveaway! And of course, after verifying that no one involved was a white supremacist or some other terrible shit, I was down for it. The best part is, I don’t have to put any of my own money into this!!

…Okay, maybe that’s not the best part, but personally it’s excellent news for me IN A PANNY IN THIS ECONOMY.

*in my best commercial voice* Pandemic got you down? Has every day been Groundhog’s Day since March 2020? Have you watched everything TV show there is to watch and movies have lost their lustre? If not, you may be in one of the lucky countries, like the Australians or New Zealanders, who had a competent government response to this shit show (I’m looking at you, Chris.)

As Ontario goes into our third half-assed lockdown, which will do nothing but hurt small businesses, I’m left feeling like there is no light at the end of this godforsaken virus tunnel. But maybe, if we get a group of family and friends together, pretend to kill Ted Bundy and then try to solve the murder, it will add a fresh and exciting twist to at least one evening!

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That’s where a Murder Mystery Party party comes in.

Continue reading “It’s A Fucking “Murder Mystery Party” Giveaway!”

Review: Bluebird, Bluebird (Highway 59, #1) by Attica Locke

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★★★

Mulholland Books | 2017

Filed Under: Makes Racists Afraid Again


This is a tricky review to write because there are two different elements to this book that require attention. The first is the atmosphere and setting and all the social issues that go along with writing a novel set in a small one-horse Texas town with deep ties to America’s racist history.

The other is the mystery itself, because this is a mystery novel. Why were a black man and a white woman murdered together, and who did it?

The setting and the mystery work together and separately, propelling the plot forward while also giving the reader a glimpse into what small-town southern life is like when the local bar is full of Aryan Brotherhood members and up the road is a black-owned Jim Crow-era restaurant.

Honestly, is it just me or is the idea of travelling to the U.S. as an outsider just like, no thanks? I’m gonna quote Bowie here and say, I’m afraid of Americans. Obviously not all Americans, but as a whole? No, thanks again. I think if I was going to travel to the U.S., I’d pick places where my risk of running into bigoted, racist assholes and people carrying guns for no reason is significantly lowered. I don’t want to die just because I wanted to see the Grand Canyon, you know what I mean?

But, I digress…

American Usa GIF by CTV Comedy Channel
Continue reading “Review: Bluebird, Bluebird (Highway 59, #1) by Attica Locke”

Review: Truly Devious (Truly Devious, #1) by Maureen Johnson

A girl from Pittsburgh came to Ellingham Academy and she wanted to see a dead body. She got her wish.

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★★

HarperCollins | 2018

Filed Under: Youtube as a career path


As you may have picked up by now because of all the not-at-all subtle clues I keep dropping that goes something like: “I hate YA thrillers!” and “I’ve never read a good YA thriller!” or “Please stop recommending me YA thrillers because I don’t like them!” – I am not a big fan of YA mystery/thrillers.

I’m not sure why I keep reading them other than the plot summaries and beautiful covers continue to reel me.

I’m so goddamn naïve. “This one will be a good one!” I think to myself about a book I will end up not liking at all 🤡

Is that the case with Truly, Devious?

Umm…

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I’ve had my eye on this novel for a while mostly because of the goddamn plot summary. A private school famous for a decades-old unsolved kidnapping/maybe-murder suddenly sees a new murder and the possibility that the original Big Bad, know as Truly, Devious, is back to wreak havoc on the students and faculty of Ellingham Academy.

As concise as a summary can be, the blurb was actually a lot more interesting than what the plot turned out to be for my tastes. I typically hate private school shit. That setting is just an excuse to allow children to not have any real parental supervision like they would/should so they can do shit most teenagers would never fucking do. And I think I’m too old for that.

But, whatever. You all know I’m a grumpy reader.

Continue reading “Review: Truly Devious (Truly Devious, #1) by Maureen Johnson”