Booknerd Wednesday: My Holiday Wishlist!

I’m sure all of us booknerds are the same: We are asked for a wish list for the holidays – “What do you want for Christmas? Give me some ideas!”  – and those ideas are just a long list of books. 

Generally, people are too nervous to buy me books (at this point in my life, I’m fully aware people are legit scared of me but I’m really not that bad?) so, I just end up with a lot of gift cards. But that is totally fine with me! The more excuses I have to walk around a bookstore the better. 

So, today I thought I’d share the books that are top of my list this holiday season. 

Image result for bookworm wish list cartoon
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True Crime Tuesday: 20 Years Missing & A Christmas Suicide

It is officially December! The countdown to the holidays is on motherfuckers! I am feeling the crunch just a little bit, I can’t lie. Last weekend we busted our butts in freezing rain to get lights on the house and a tree up. But now all I have left to do is shopping.

And around here at HTFT, I carved out some time to make a new holiday-themed banner for my blog. I didn’t work on it for very long, but it is another task checked off the to-do list, and I actually kind of love it. 

So, since my “raining in the basement” fiasco, I have been behind in both reading and writing, not just my holiday responsibilities. I’m also less $1k out of my holiday budget so things are tighter than I’d like them to be. 

But, I’m not going to let the money or the rush or my reading backlog damper my holiday spirit.

And I hope others can find that same merry & bright attitude, even if you’re feeling like you don’t have it in you this year.

Yesterday, my sister was a “depression ball” because of a recent breakup and lack of funds for the holidays, and my mother was “bumming hard” because she had to spend her Christmas money to replace an unexpectedly broken oven and can’t get the gifts for people she wants to. 

And I totally get it! Those things suck. Helloooo, part of my walls are missing in my house! But at the same time, the holidays aren’t about money spent and gifts given. This time is about family. And no one wants to be on their deathbed, wishing they had been more engaged in making memories instead of being upset about relationships they no longer think about, or ovens that are now in, hopefully, some futuristic advanced recycling system. 

So, I told them both they have 22 days to buck-the-fuck-up or there will be Krampus hell to pay. 

i will cut you melissa and joey GIF
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Music Monday: Rage Against the Machine – Killing in the Name

Monday, you whore!

Warning: This is not a bookish post. 

So, I know I usually try to do a Music Monday that is inspired by whatever book I’m currently reading (Pretty Ugly Lies and The Breakdown, btw,) but with the U.S. Midterms looming tomorrow, I can’t seem to focus on anything else but that. I’m serious. It’s an addiction. I’ll need to be sedated tomorrow.

I am literally at work right now with all-day news coming through my earbuds. My husband complained over the weekend that all I ever had on was the news so he wasn’t going to be hanging out with me until the midterms were over.

AND I’M CANADIAN.

You might ask yourself, why, as a Canadian don’t I mind my fucking business and focus on my own country? Good question, rude way of asking it though. But, I’ll tell you.

First, I am married to an American. I have American stepkids and in-laws. And though my little family immigrated to Canada and now live under the soft curls of Trudeau’s perfect hair and Sunny Ways with me, they are still American and they still care deeply about their home country (my husband mailed in his absentee ballot last month, voting a straight blue ticket in his NY county that is usually red.) By default, this means I care too. It’s my husband’s country! Helllooooo.

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Review: Guess Who by Chris McGeorge

“Today, we are going to be playing a little game of Murder.”

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★★★½

Hanover Square Press | 2018

Opening Hook: Basically a classic Kesha song

Main Character: If Maury and Robert Stack had a baby, but that baby was drunk all the time

Plot Twisty-ness: Jigsaw would be proud


I went into this novel with every intention of loving it completely. I swear to Thor. But okay, obviously I didn’t completely get there. Story of my life. No one is shocked.

Guess Who started off as a five-star read until I passed the halfway mark and that’s when things fell off the chart. For the first half of the book, it is very much SAW meets Clue, just minus the horror element. But it does create a sinister, frantic pace and tone that definitely had me hooked. It’s a locked-room mystery that feels both extravagant and desperate at first, at that definitely worked for me in a totally non-sexual sexual way.

Morgan Sheppard is a TV star who has made a living doing a Maury meets Unsolved Mysteries-style show called Resident Detective. As a child, he solved the murder of his math teacher and created a very successful career riding (read: exploiting) that wave. Through his fame, he’s turned into an alcoholic, drug addict and womanizer. The only problem is, Sheppard has been full of shit for a very long time. And someone knows it. And someone hates him.

This villain, known as The Evil Man who wears a goofy fucking horse mask, and locks Sheppard and five other people in a hotel room with a dead body in the bathtub. Sheppard has 3 hours to find the killer – one of the people in the room – and prove what kind of detective he really is, or the hotel blows up.

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Book Tag: The Versatile Blogger Award

Happy Hump Day, Nerdos!

I’m like 80% sure I’m coming down with a cold, so my brain is basically sleepy mush today and I had no idea what kind of post I’d be able to write that wasn’t completely half-assed.

And honestly, I don’t want to put out half-assed stuff. I’d rather post less often with high quality (for me) stuff then post daily with shit I’m just tossing out there, hoping it sticks.

Thankfully, Dora @ Swift Coffee has given me the perfect out for today by nominating me for the Versatile Blogger Award!

The Versatile Blogger Award.png

I have no idea what that means, but I’m grateful!

Honestly, while we’re on it, I never have any idea what most of these blogger award tags are for. Best Actor? Best Director? Worst Blowjob Scene?

What we need is some description of what these awards are far, what was the qualifying criteria? Am I to assume I’m versatile in some way? Because I can assure you, I am not. I’m a fickle, stubborn, cranky bitch who is very difficult to please and if you change plans on me last minute I’m gonna throw a fit.

i suck chris farley GIF

But here we are… Versatile Awards for me!

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True Crime Tuesday: A Ghastly Halloween Double Murder

IT’S FINALLY HAPPENING!

*deep breaths*

It’s officially October which means my month-long celebration of Halloween can commence.

halloween elvira GIF

At home you will find me decorating, watching scary movies and buying bite-sized boxes of candy from Costco, eating it all before Halloween night, then buying more. Good times.

I love Halloween so effing much. It’s my favourite time of year (which I think is true of most of us around here judging by the number of pumpkins currently spicing everybody’s posts), but because I love it so much, I can’t just leave my Halloween festivities at home. I’ve got to bring it here to share with all of you in my little corner of the internet, as well.

I started with a brand new header for my blog. Please check it out and let me know what you think! Consider it me putting out jack-o-lanterns on my front porch.  Except instead of a porch it’s a blog home page… something like that.

And next up is going to be Halloween-themed True Crime Tuesday posts for the next month. That’s right! I’m going to fill your booknerd noggins with terrifying stories of people being murdered on Halloween so that when that spooky night rolls around you’ve really got that festive scared-out-of-your-mind feeling!

You’re welcome. I love you.

First up, a story of unknown motive and Halloween nightmares. The murders of Adriane Insogna and Leslie Mazzara.

Continue reading “True Crime Tuesday: A Ghastly Halloween Double Murder”

Review: The Ancient Nine by Ian K. Smith

“Money has an insidious way of making decent human beings behave in a most indecent way.”

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★★½

St. Martin’s Press | 2018

Opening Hook: A 1920s fence hopper

Main Character: Basically the author is just writing himself and it’s weird

Plot Twisty-ness: You have to read a research paper to get to them


You ever read a novel and can immediately tell it’s written by a first-time author because they don’t know how to chill the fuck out with descriptive passages and scenes that don’t further a plot?

Yeah. This book suffers from that in abundance.

The heart of the novel is that of Spenser Collins, a young black man attending Harvard in 1988. After becoming an unlikely candidate to join one of the University’s secret societies, The Delphic, Spenser and his buddy Dalton, stumble upon a fifty-year-old mystery – the disappearance of another young student in the 1920s, who was never heard from again after illegally entering the Delphic’s mansion in search of the answer to the question: Is there really a secret society within the secret society called the Ancient Nine who spend their whole lives guarding an invaluable secret?

I mean, part of me was thinking of the movie The Skulls circa 2000. You know, Joshua Jackson and Paul Walker getting into some deadly adventure after joining a secret society that will do anything to protect its secrets, protect its own, its power and its money? But sadly for me, this book hits a decidedly different tone, while maintaining that “boys club” feel and presenting the objectification of women as a good thing.

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Book Tag: OMG That Song!

Thank Jeebus for Bridget over at Bridget and Books for tagging me in to do this round of Book Tag, because I haven’t done one in a couple of months and I think I’m literally starting to have withdrawals.

family guy help GIF

So, here’s the scoop: This tag was originally created by The Book Nut. All you do is give a book answer and a song answer for the different prompts. Easy peasy, lemon squeezy, and certainly not difficult difficult lemon difficult.

I’ll do my tagging now so you don’t have scroll through my answers if you don’t want to read them. I know I can get a little…in depth (why do you hate me?)

Eleni @ La Femme Readers, Brandy @ B’s Book Blog, Carolina @ Third Person Limited, and Alyssa @ Just Another Book on the Shelf. Let’s see what you got, booknerds!

Okay, now let’s get onto the important stuff…

legally blonde GIF by Meg Lewis
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Book Nook Sunday: Office Reveal

Hey nerdos! Happy Sunday!

It’s been a bit since I did a book nook post and I chalk that up entirely to bad forethought and how absolutely lazy/busy I am on Sundays. By that, I mean Sundays are our “prepare for the week” day – groceries, garbage, making lunches, laundry. All the terrible adulting things that no one wants to do. And by the time we’re done I like to sit on my fucking ass.

That’s RIGHT. I SAID IT.

lazy adventure time GIF

(I really should be scheduling these.)

But, today is a little bit different. My husband is away so I haven’t done any of our responsible things like usual. That means I get to make a new post instead. This will essentially just be me showing off the hard work we did in my new office/guest room which used to be my oldest stepson’s bedroom (he moved out in the spring.)

My last one of these posts I think I said I’d share the finished product with you all once we were done. It’s been put together for a little while now, and I’ve been breaking it in. Getting used to doing things at my own desk instead of in my bed on a laptop board. I feel so adult (I’m not.)

I also have some beautiful book nooks to share with you all that I’ve collected from all over the internets to get your bookworm envy flowing.

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Review: The 17th Suspect by James Patterson & Maxine Paetro

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★★★

Little, Brown & Company | 2018

Opening Hook: A pretty standard for the genre death scene

Main Characters: TONE IT THE FUCK DOWN

Plot Twisty-ness: B for Beffort.


So, this is the first review I’m posting on my blog of this series, but here’s the sordid background on me and this series:

I have read every single one of the books in this series. EVERY. SINGLE. ONE. Even the novellas.

You can find all of my reviews of them on Goodreads if you’re so inclined to watch my descent into pure, unadulterated hatred.

Oh, yes, that’s right. Hatred. I am well-versed in the Women’s Murder Club. And I fucking hate-read this series with a fiery, binge-y passion. Truthfully, I hate mostly everything Patterson writes.

Gather around, children and listen to your elder millennial: James Patterson is a fucking awful writer.

Continue reading “Review: The 17th Suspect by James Patterson & Maxine Paetro”