Booknerd Wednesday: This Is Not A Safe Space

Hey Nerdos! How’s the mildly inflammatory post title hitting you?

Right in the nads, I hope.

But, seriously, how’s life? I’m honestly interested. I need to know. Tell me about yourselves, tell me what’s going on. Because I’m always telling you about my life, like maybe to an overtly personal degree, as if this isn’t a book blog at all.

So, let’s make this uncomfortableness a two-way street.

awkward andy samberg GIF by Brooklyn Nine-Nine

This week is crazy busy for me. There’s so much going on at home, from preparing for a 15th birthday party for the stepkid, to cleaning out the other stepkid’s room because he moved out and I want my goddamn office space, to trying to build and stain our Adirondack chairs because it was cheaper to DIY-it than to buy them ready-to-sit and I’m all about DIY where I can if it saves me more money for books.

PS. whoever decided that Willy Wonka Funko dolls are worth $50 can get bent. You’ve ruined a teen’s birthday wish!

Anyway, through it all, I’m super dedicated to getting some books read and putting some half-assed content up on this clearly amateur blog.

Today’s BW post is going to be a personal book blogging existential crisis experience. That sounds like a blasty-blast, right?

I’m going to be working through a thing, so just bear with me and feel free to let me know your opinions in the comments.

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Review: Missing, Presumed (DS Manon, #1) by Susan Steiner

28385950★★

If you’ve ever thought to yourself “what would Bridget Jones be like as a homicide detective?” …then I think you’ll want to read this book.

I myself have never wandered about Bridget Jones taking on different career paths, (really she does enough of that in her own stories,) but now that I have some idea of what a DS Jones would look like, I’ll tell you, it doesn’t work.

Missing, Presumed in the first book in the DS Manon Bradshow series – a UK police procedural revolving around the disappearance of the twenty-something daughter of a prominent doctor.

Overall I found this to be severely lacking on the police procedural part and overwrought on the personal “character-study” side, like to such annoying degree that I’m physically disappointed by this book. It’s certainly not what it was presented to be on the jacket or in the blurbs.

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Book Tag: Unique Blogger Award

You know what, it’s so nice to be thought of with these things. Sometimes I feel like I’m a little bit on the outskirts of the book blogger community because I’m new and slow and old. So, thanks, G!

If you haven’t stumbled across her blog yet, Greyson @ GreysonReads does lots of fun and interesting posts, including book reviews, discussions on mental health and personal posts about her family that might give you some feels, or help you feel less alone in your struggles. She’s special, and you’ll like her. Because I like her, and I don’t like a lot of people.

So this is the deal:

Unique Blogger Award.png

And these are my questions from Greyson:

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Book Tag: Emotions in Colours

My girl Greyson, over at Greyson Reads, tagged me to do this original gem created by Cait @ Paper Fury, which was inspired by a couple of G’s other blog posts. It’s colours as emotions as related to books.

It’s like our very own booknerd version of Emotion-evoked Synesthesia. (Google it, it’s pretty cool.)

Of course, I will never experience Synesthesia because, I’ll be honest, I’m pretty dead on the inside. This tag could end up being exceptionally difficult for me, but I’ll usually try anything once – even emotions.

Once.

empty kate mckinnon GIF by Saturday Night Live

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Review: The Last Mrs. Parrish by Liv Constantine

34066623

“What we’ve got here is a failure to communicate.” 

This quote from the 1967 film, COOL HAND LUKE, basically sums up how I’m feeling after reading this book. And I’ve never even seen the movie. The quote just came to me, as a thing I know somehow, deep from within the pop culture recesses of my mind. There’s a lot of useless information in there.

I might also go with: “…in the galaxy of This Sucks Camel Dicks!” Stepbrothers, 2008.

What I mean to say is: I wish the publishers hadn’t stuffed this novel into the psychological-thriller genre just because that’s where all the cool kids are, and had instead been honest about what this book is: a dark romance meets women’s fiction meets soap opera intrigue with a terrible, TERRIBLE message.

It’s not a thriller. I’m sorry, but no. I am not thrilled.

Had I known this from the start, I would have passed on reading it, because this level of dramatic soap-opera nutty-ness is just not my thing. It lacks humour and humanity, and is overpopulated with terrible one-liners, cliches and silly dialogue and tropes that feel like a reenactment. And the writing is derivative and basic.

Not to mention, the internal misogyny that permeates the entire theme gets my feminist hackles up.

Anyway….I didn’t know I shouldn’t read this, so I did, and now I have library late fees and a shitty review to write, so buckle in, bitches.

(This could get mildly spoiler-y because I’m going to rant, so if you’re super excited to read this, here’s my takeaway: Don’t waste your time with this, unless you’re cool with domestic abuse. Otherwise, read on!)

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Review: Brave by Rose McGowan

35068683★★★★

It doesn’t feel right “rating” an autobiography, especially one as intense and personal as this one, so consider my stars more of a decoration than a judgement.

Rose McGowan is an actress that had a significant presence in my formative years. (Favourite movie of all time: Scream. One of my favourite TV shows of all time: Charmed.) So, going into reading this, after the downfall of Harvey Weinstein, I felt a little bit of a connection to her. In some ways I grew up with her. Perhaps that affects my opinion of this book, as opposed to someone that saw Death Proof once or remembers her from that time she walked the red carpet at the MTV VMAs essentially naked.

I know this is not the typical book review you might expect to find on a blog dedicated to mysteries and thrillers, but I believe this is an important one to read. For me personally, as a feminist and as a woman, but also just in general. All people should be reading this book. End of.

Whether you agree with her opinions or not, there is so much in this novel that will make you think, make you reconsider an opinion or give you a new perspective you might not have considered.

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Review: Eighth Grave After Dark (Charley Davidson, #8) by Darynda Jones

22922356★★

It physically hurts to say this, like I have bad gas, but I must tell the truth: I did not like this book.

I really do love this series and the characters have a special place in my heart, but WHAT IN THE HOLY-HELL IS GOING ON?

This can be my problem with long running series: at some point the author wants to take things to a new, unexpected level, but because the story has been going on for so long the only place left to take readers is right off the fucking rails.

And this is the book in Charley Davidson’s adventures that dropped off the tracks and decided to go careening off a bridge.

First of all, this book read more like a romance erotica novel than a true Charley Davidson instalment.

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Review: Never Never (Detective Harriet Blue, #1) by James Patterson & Candice Fox

27993244★★½

Literally two of my three book-related New Years Resolutions for 2018 were to stop reading James Patterson and I’ve already failed. It’s only March! What is wrong with me?!

Don’t answer that.

My only consolation is that this wasn’t totally fucking awful.

Candice Fox is an excellent writer on her own. She’s obviously the reason this book is at least relatively well written, if not still an emotional flatliner that is full of logic-holes.

It maintains the typical Patterson style of short chapters and colourful characters who lack depth, plus the typical “detective chasing a serial killer” plot that doesn’t attempt to bring anything new to the genre.

But what this book does have, that other Patterson novels don’t, is more realistic dialogue and a female lead that doesn’t irritate me because she calls everyone “butterfly” and has hugs her friends because she hasn’t seen them for a whole five minutes.

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Review: Black-Eyed Susans by Julia Heaberlin

23746004★★★½

This is just an OK book about O.J. Simpson.

Oh, I’m sorry, it’s not about O.J. Simpson? He’s just talked about incessantly?

My bad.

So, this is a pretty good suspense-mystery that is not about O.J. Simpson.

But who are we kidding? There really is no O.J. mystery.

He did it.

Black-Eyed Susans follows Tessa, the only surviving victim of a serial killer. Known as “the lucky one”, her body was left in a ditch covered in the ominous yellow flowers and surrounded by the remains of three other women. Now 32, with a daughter, and a life she’s scraped together with determination and strength, Tessa has to face the consequences of the testimony she gave at her accused killer’s trial…because she’s not totally convinced the right man is behind bars.

But just like everyone else in the history of mystery novels, the bitch has amnesia and can’t remember what happened to her. Dun dun dunnnn…

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With the execution looming, Tessa teams up with the inmate’s lawyers and forensic experts, to find the truth. Who were the other victims? Is her killer still free? Where did her best friend disappear to fifteen years ago? And who keeps planting black-eyed-susans in her garden?

And ALSO, just what do Americans think Canadian bacon is?

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Review: Final Girls by Riley Sager

32796253★★★★★

It’s my birthday and I’m King of the World!

Okay, it’s not my birthday, nor am I a king, but that’s how this book makes me feel.

I’m not going to shame other people for their opinions on this one, but I will say if you didn’t like it, I truly believe you missed the beauty of what Riley Sager did here.

But, still, no judgement. I respect you all, I’m just a little bit in love with this novel.

At Pine Cottage, ten years earlier, Quincy Carpenter emerges from the woods, bloody and screaming, the only survivor of a murderous massacre. We’re talking slasher-flick-sized proportions. The only problem is, Quincy has repressed all memories of that night. She has no idea what happened.

By surviving this horrific event, Quincy becomes a member of a very exclusive club, dubbed in the media as The Final Girls. 

“Final girls is film-geek speak for the last woman standing at the end of a horror movie.”

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