Let’s talk about Jenna Jameson for a minute. Yes, the porn star.
I never thought I’d be at a point in my life where I was inspired by Jenna Jameson, but here we are. And I have no shame.
That bitch is doing work on her body and mental health right now and I’m completely in love with her for it. She’s using the keto diet and intermittent fasting to drop the weight she gained from pregnancy & addiction troubles. Seriously, go to her Instagram, check out her before & after photos and her honest messages, and tell me that shit doesn’t get you completely motivated.
My friend and her husband have been doing keto for 6 months themselves, and collectively, they’ve lost 100 pounds. So between these two examples I’ve been witness to, I’m all pumped to get into shape myself.
I know I’ve been saying that since January, but it’s all about motivation and mental health sometimes. And I just wasn’t in the right head space to take care of myself, unfortunately. But I feel so much better since a lot of the negativity in my life has disappeared with certain life changes.
Plus, I’m turning 33 in November and I don’t want to get another year older still stuck in the same rut. Since I got married in 2013, I’ve been SUPER lax about taking care of myself, which is the total opposite of how I was before I was married. Strange how that happens. I suppose it’s contentment. Then there was also some depression thrown in there for me.
It’s been a ride of a lot of complicated milestones, let’s just say.
So, anyway, like most women I’ve gained weight since getting married. My husband has too. And now I’m pulling a Jenna Jameson and using her as my keto spirit guide.
Continue reading “Booknerd Wednesday: WWW Edition”
“Doing a bad thing doesn’t make you a bad person. People do bad things for the right reasons all the time.”
Redhook | 2016
Opening Hook: Better classified as a “meltdown”
Main Character: Small town child murderer
Plot Twisty-ness: The definition of twisty
Audrey Hart left Edgeport years ago after being released from the local juvie, Stillwater, for killing her best friend, Maggie’s, father when they were teenagers. She doesn’t regret it for a second – Maggie’s father was a daughter-raping piece of shit, and killing him – and the consequences that followed – have made Audrey who she is today: a successful child psychologist and contributor to a true crime tv show, Kids Who Kill.
When Audrey gets a call to return home to Edgeport, she’s dreading it. The whispers, the glances – all eyes are always on her whenever she’s in town. That is certainly true when Audrey walks into the local watering hole to pick up her drunk-ass father and Maggie spots her. They speak for the first time in years and it’s not friendly. Audrey gets mean, Maggie gets nasty, gets pushed onto her ass and Audrey storms off. The next morning Maggie is dead on the beach and Audrey is a suspect.
So begins all the twisted, romantic, dramatic events that will lead to the disturbing and twisted discovery of just what exactly happened to Maggie. And when I say twisted, I mean twisted. There is so much history to unravel, so many secrets and lies to uncover, that while there aren’t necessarily many “thrilling” or “dangerous” moments, you are totally engaged the whole time.
There are just so many elements of this novel that I loved.
Continue reading “Review: It Takes One (Audrey Harte, #1) by Kate Kessler”
“‘Let it never be said that I have left my children for my foes to trample on.’…Medea killed her children to punish her husband.”
Text Publishing | 2015
Opening Hook: Probably a dick, they were everywhere
Main Character: Pet Parrot and Leather
Plot Twisty-ness: The Winona Ryder meme with math equations
This book wasn’t really what I expected it to be – it’s a mystery, but definitely not a thriller, and has a lot more erotic elements than I would reasonably expect from a story like this.
But Dr. Natalie King isn’t really what you expect a forensic psychiatrist to be either. She’s outspoken, emotionally dysfunctional and has no problem pushing a prosecutor down courthouse steps. She’s bi-polar and irresponsible with her meds. She rides a motorcycle, fronts an amateur band and has a pet parrot. She lives in a warehouse and has affairs with married men. But she’s a mothereffin’ queen in her field – dedicated to her patients and to finding the truth. And I basically fell in love with her as a lead character.
It’s a good thing that this is the first in a series, because there is so much more that can be done with a character this badass and damaged.
Continue reading “Review: Medea’s Curse (Natalie King, Forensic Psychiatrist, #1) by Anne Buist”
Thomas & Mercer | 2016
Opening Hook: The human equivalent of an animal caught in a trap
Main Character: Needs to get laid, but also doesn’t
Plot Twisty-ness: If a roller coaster was an onion
I have to say I really liked this. It’s dark. It’s interesting. There are so many layers to the story, to the mystery. It’s never what you think it is.
I’ve never read anything by Anne Frasier before, though I do have a few of her books on my TBR shelf. I will definitely be moving those books closer to the top of the list.
Det. Jude Fontaine makes a daring escape after 3 years in captivity. She’s not herself anymore. She’s been subjected to unknown tortures and horrors. She sees everything in the world with new eyes, including herself.
Clawing her way back to some semblance of mental health, Jude goes back to work as a Homicide detective, while trying to find new ways to just be alive. (Sleeping on the roof, for instance.) Everything about Jude is switched off after her return. She has no sense of humour, she is flat and unemotional. She doesn’t know how to exist anymore. And this starting point requires that the other plot elements, and secondary characters, have some A+ development.
Her trauma and recovery has got to be believable, yet on pace with the rest of the book so you don’t feel bogged down with “personal issues”. I think Frasier really pulled that off. (This needs to be a series.)
Continue reading “Review: The Body Reader (Detective Jude Fontaine, #1) by Anne Frasier”
Throw me a mother effin’ party because I’ve been SO GOOD about not requesting ARCs for the last couple of months.
…Annndddddd hold the applause.
The party will have to end a little early because I started jonesing for a NetGalley fix a couple of nights ago after I had learned I’d been given auto-approval by a publisher that puts out things like Mark Edwards and Caroline Mitchell, and now everything is off the fucking rails again and I am seeing spots.
It’s starts with one hit – aka one push of the “request” button – and next thing you know, you’ve done a dozen more hits and emails start pouring in with approvals (and rejections) and you’re running down the street half-naked, screaming that you’re the new Lizard Queen and all your free books are your babies.
…No? That’s just me? Okay…
Continue reading “Booknerd Wenesday: The NetGalley Monthly For August 2018!”
“Love blinds us all…”
Century | 2017
I’m on the fence about this one.
I feels like it doesn’t really know what it wants to be – A domestic thriller? Or a contemporary drama?
It touches on a lot of heavy subjects – domestic abuse, the justice system, the morality of the death penalty, wrongful convictions, motherhood and family and guilt and self-preservation. But it lacks the depth and analysis to be an emotional drama. And it’s missing the suspense and sinister atmosphere to be a thriller. Ultimately, it leaves a lot of these themes exposed, but not examined. And that felt unfinished to me.
For a story about a single mother who has to plan a murder to save her family from her abusive new husband, this was exceptionally slow and, and at times, straight up boring.
The first 40% is all build up, focusing on the story of Kristy and Lance – how they met, following the progression of their relationship from dating to marriage. I was not expecting this much emphasis on the romantic element. I experienced a cloud of confusion lingering around my reading experience. I kept thinking do I keep reading this? I didn’t want to read a romance? Is anything going to fucking happen?!
Continue reading “Review: The Walls by Hollie Overton”
Bookouture | 2018
Opening Hook: Dumpster baby.
Main Character: PTSD and inappropriate work places romance.
Plot Twisty-ness: Given away in the synopsis, because I guess why the hell not?
This was pretty enjoyable, I have to say. For a debut in a series, it hit mostly all the right notes. But at the same time, it was missing aspects that I look for to really make a procedural more than just the typical.
The story boils down to an abandoned baby, a woman who’s been missing for four years (who is the mother of that baby,) and one seasoned, but borderline PTSD, detective on the case.
You hear all of that and you think, yes gimme! It sounds like the perfect recipe. But I’m left feeling a little bit like Gordon Ramsey on Master Chef when someone brings up a beautiful looking dish and he tastes it, gets a funny look on his face and says: “It looks fantastic, but where’s the seasoning? Did you salt the fucking chicken?”
Carla Kovach forgot to salt the fucking chicken on this one.
Continue reading “Review: The Next Girl (DI Gina Harte, #1) by Carla Kovach”
I’m coming down off of the Canada Day long weekend. For those among us that don’t know what Canada Day is, it’s our goddamn birthday! July 1st! HOW DARE YOU NOT SEND US A CARD!
It currently feels like there is nothing worse than going back to work after a long weekend. I’m exhausted even though I did literally the bare minimum for three days straight. To top it off, it’s been hotter than Satan’s taint outside. A heat warning has been in effect for a literal week. My dog is getting cabin fever because he can’t play outside longer than ten minutes without risking heat stroke. Same applies to my husband, honestly.
Climate change is going to kill us all, but first it’s making me sweat and I don’t like it.
I behaved like a vampire all weekend. Blinds drawn to create total darkness, keeping the homicidal sun away from my fair skin. The AC blasting, keeping me cool and fresh like a corpse in a morgue. And when my husband tried to touch me with his hotter-than-normal body, I burst into a hundred bats and flew away.
Continue reading “Booknerd Wednesday: WWW Edition”
Summer officially started last week! Do you feel it – the unbearable heat? Do you hear it – the sound of mosquitos eating me alive. Aw, summer.
The stepkid – hereby referred to as “15” for the purposes of my blog – had her last exam and is leaving on Saturday for an extended visitation with Crazy Pants, the bio-mom.
…and to me that means FREEDOM!
*slowly starts to paint face blue*
I whine sometimes, but being a stepmom is really not that bad compared to some of the horror stories I’ve heard in my support group. (It’s still a hard thing to do, hence the support group.) But, the kid is pretty clean and polite and doesn’t think I’m an evil twat, so I think I’m doing okay.
I will say, I’m glad the older one moved out because teenage 👏 boys 👏 are 👏 fucking 👏 gross👏. My clean/organized neurosis couldn’t take it anymore.
It’s all progress and winning in my life right now…you know, except for the stuff that isn’t. But, I have a good feeling about this summer *knocks on wood.*
Some people can’t wait for summer because it means the beach and amusement parks and camping and whatever the hell else extroverted, outdoorsy people do. I can’t wait for summer because it means quiet and a warm breeze coming through my bedroom window while I sit around in no pants (apparently you have to wear pants around stepchildren) reading the summer’s hottest books.
And what might those books be you ask? Well, I’m happy to tell you.
Here is my list of the new mystery & thriller books coming your way this summer. Get your TBR ready!
Continue reading “Booknerd Wednesday: Mystery & Thriller Releases for Summer 2018!”
Montlake Romance | 2017
Opening Hook: Protect your lady-bits
Main Character: Sex-addict realness
Plot Twisty-ness: Procedural B+
I’m telling you right now, this book is the motherfucking shit.
Not even an exaggeration, honey.
And it’s the shit for one reason. Yes, it’s got murder. Yes, it’s got sex. Yes, it’s got a psycho serial killer. Yes, it’s hitting that fine line in the level of detail. Yes, it reads like real life honesty. Yes, it’s got gore. Yes, it takes place in C to the A to the N to the A to the D to the A…
Hold on, did I spell that right? *goes back to check* Yep.
But listen to me readers and lovers, without Detective Angie Pallorino as a lead character we would be sitting at a three-star rating That’s just the truth.
Was there anything astonishing about the storyline? Not really. It’s interesting, but at the end of the day, it’s a police procedural. Extra points for taking place in Canada and getting my patriotic self a little hyped about that, because I’m always reading books that take place in the UK or the US – and quite honestly I’ve had just about enough of the United States at this CRAZY Trump Juncture – but, I’m pretty sure serial killers obsessed with religious bullshit has been done to death.
Continue reading “Review: The Drowned Girls (Angie Pallorino, #1) by Loreth Anne White”