Book Tag: What’s On My Bookshelf?

I didn’t really get many things posted last week, and if you care at all, one way or the other (hopefully you weren’t happy I was gone) I’m truly sorry (but also not really.)

Sometimes that’s how it’s going to go around here – little mini breaks because I’m an adult and I can do what I want! Maybe next time I’ll post a Gone Fishin’ sign, though.

I don’t really have a good excuse for my inactivity other than I am really trying to get a few books read quickly so I can queue up some more reviews for this month. But also, I binged The Staircase on Netflix really hard.

Like, it was kind of pathetic how hard of a binge I did. I barely moved. My Fitbit thought I was sleeping for 14 hours. No joke.

But I’m back on it for this week! And the lovely Emily over at Wicked Good Reads is even helping me out with some content by tagging me in for this bookish questionnaire.

Is it good? Define ‘good.’ Is it content? You’re damn right it’s content!

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Review: Missing, Presumed (DS Manon, #1) by Susan Steiner

28385950★★

If you’ve ever thought to yourself “what would Bridget Jones be like as a homicide detective?” …then I think you’ll want to read this book.

I myself have never wandered about Bridget Jones taking on different career paths, (really she does enough of that in her own stories,) but now that I have some idea of what a DS Jones would look like, I’ll tell you, it doesn’t work.

Missing, Presumed in the first book in the DS Manon Bradshow series – a UK police procedural revolving around the disappearance of the twenty-something daughter of a prominent doctor.

Overall I found this to be severely lacking on the police procedural part and overwrought on the personal “character-study” side, like to such annoying degree that I’m physically disappointed by this book. It’s certainly not what it was presented to be on the jacket or in the blurbs.

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Booknook Sunday: 05.27.18

Happy Sunday, nerdos!

This is Booknook Sunday – my one day to talk about home design as it relates to books and my own life.

I’ve had a long past couple of weekends with some reno projects, so I haven’t been able to post booknook decor as much as I intended to, but the good news is, we finally finished renovating our foyer/front hall closet (it only took six weeks!) and even painted the upstairs hallway. I took a queue from Dita Von Teese and went with a deep purple just like her personal library. My husband hates it but I don’t give a shit…

*bats eyelashes*

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Review: Dark Game (DI Kelly Porter, #1) by Rachel Lynch

37067922★★★

Welcome to another edition of Krystin Struggles To Write A Review For A Book That Was Just Okay!

These are my least favourite reviews to write. I think I’m a person who creatively operates best under strong swings on the emotional spectrum. Writing a review for a book that didn’t get me fired up either way is kind of like being asked “how was your weekend?” by an expectant colleague and struggling to come up with an answer because all you did was lay around in your PJs mindlessly watching repeats of Live PD.

That Dan Abrams sure does like him some tightly fit sweaters. And I am not complaining.

I don’t know, guys… Do you want to talk about this book or do you want to talk about Dan Abrams’ wardrobe? I’m leaning more towards wardrobe. Blue is really his colour.

Alright, alright! I’ll stop.

yas checking out GIF by Vanessa Marie Carter

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Booknerd Wednesday: The House That Jack Built & Bookish Choices

Here’s a little known secret about me. And by “little known”, I mean literally no one knows it, not even my husband.

I love Matt Dillon.

I keep it a secret because my love for him is complicated to explain. I actually I find him really gross. There’s something about Matt Dillon that is so incredibly off-putting to me; something smarmy, something that tells me he probably has weird sexual proclivities. I can totally see myself saying, “Um, no Matt Dillon, I will not have sex with you covered in mayo!”

Maybe it’s the roles I’ve seen him in that have coloured my opinion – Wild Things, There’s Something About Mary. But I find him to be very unattractive…so much so that I also want him.

matt dillon 80s GIF

I know, it’s weird. Maybe I’ll talk about it in therapy.

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Review: The Last Mrs. Parrish by Liv Constantine

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“What we’ve got here is a failure to communicate.” 

This quote from the 1967 film, COOL HAND LUKE, basically sums up how I’m feeling after reading this book. And I’ve never even seen the movie. The quote just came to me, as a thing I know somehow, deep from within the pop culture recesses of my mind. There’s a lot of useless information in there.

I might also go with: “…in the galaxy of This Sucks Camel Dicks!” Stepbrothers, 2008.

What I mean to say is: I wish the publishers hadn’t stuffed this novel into the psychological-thriller genre just because that’s where all the cool kids are, and had instead been honest about what this book is: a dark romance meets women’s fiction meets soap opera intrigue with a terrible, TERRIBLE message.

It’s not a thriller. I’m sorry, but no. I am not thrilled.

Had I known this from the start, I would have passed on reading it, because this level of dramatic soap-opera nutty-ness is just not my thing. It lacks humour and humanity, and is overpopulated with terrible one-liners, cliches and silly dialogue and tropes that feel like a reenactment. And the writing is derivative and basic.

Not to mention, the internal misogyny that permeates the entire theme gets my feminist hackles up.

Anyway….I didn’t know I shouldn’t read this, so I did, and now I have library late fees and a shitty review to write, so buckle in, bitches.

(This could get mildly spoiler-y because I’m going to rant, so if you’re super excited to read this, here’s my takeaway: Don’t waste your time with this, unless you’re cool with domestic abuse. Otherwise, read on!)

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Book Tag: The Ultimate Book Tag – 25 Bookish Questions

IT’S FRIDAY!

ken block friday GIF by Ford

Bonus for me: I’ve got Monday off work. I’m determined to make this weekend super productive for reading! It’s top priority.

I’d say last night was pretty productive for reading, as well, because I literally had no other choice. When I got home from work around 5PM, the power was out at my house, as well at 223 other houses. And we didn’t get electricity back until this morning! Joy-of-fucking-joys!

I felt like an Amish person – lighting candles, walking around in the dark, crying that we have no Wi-Fi (Amish people cry about that, right?)

As expressed by my 14-year-old stepkid: “I want to look at memes! This sucks!”

I hear you, junior.

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The NetGalley Monthly: May 2018

Honestly, NetGalley might be my undoing, mentally. I can see a breakdown on the horizon. Maybe I start writing on the walls about how many unread ARCs I have, while I talk to an invisible librarian, and my husband has to feed me ice chips.

I try to stop myself from going on there and requesting new titles, but it’s so hard. I need a 12 step program.

We’ll call this post Step 1.

If you want to play along, feel free. Basically, what I intend to do is round up all the new ARCs I’ve received at the beginning of every month, for a new month of reading. Easy!

Because I’ve been such a good girl about requesting books (up until a couple of days ago), this first post might be a little short, but books are books!

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Booknerd Wednesday: WWW Edition

I know everyone else is saying this too but, I can’t believe it’s May already!

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April flew passed me, and I didn’t even get all that much reading done, which totally sucks, but I’ve been up to my eyeballs in house stuff. I swear time is like a downhill snowball the older you get, and I’m not even old!

My husband and I are still trying to get this foyer mudroom finished. And I’m such an inpatient asshole that I also started painting my upstairs hallway. I’m not good at one step at a time, clearly. Also, also, I’ve spent a lot of money on paitings and lights and carpets and please someone STOP ME BEFORE I DESTROY MY BUDGET!

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Fave Five Friday: Favourite Book Series

I’m an unabashed book series lover. If a book is the first in a series, as opposed to a standalone, I’m 80% more likely to read it (I just pulled that percentage out of my ass, but it’s probably accurate.)

With that in mind, I have no idea how I’m going to whittle down my favourite series to just my top five, but at the very least an attempt will be made and I’m proud of myself for that.

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This post is hosted by Sheri @ TV Addicted Bookworm. She seems nice, check her out.

Without further ado, and in no particular order…actually in a very specific order…here are my choices. Trust me when I say, this was agonizing in the most bookish way.

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