“Never talk to strangers. If someone ever tries to take you, fight with everything you have. Scream as loud as you can. (He’d never told her what to do if the man was too strong and there was no one to hear her screaming.)”
Touchstone | 2016
Opening Hook: Tediously attention-grabbing
Main Character: I see dead people-ing it
Plot Twisty-ness: How twisty can it be when everyone is a goddamn psychic?
I don’t know why I keep trying books with psychic characters, because I never like them.
Also, apparently this could technically be considered part of series called The Hollows, but I have zero experience with Lisa Unger or that series, so perhaps that’s why I’m not as jazzed about this book as other people have been.
This does read like a standalone for all intents and purposes, though.
Basically what you have here is a twenty-something who is a developing psychic, so she goes to live with her grandmother, who is an experienced psychic, to get her psychic abilities up to snuff. While she’s doing her psychic-training she starts to hear a persistent noise – squeak, clink – and her psychic grandmother is all, “that’s your psychic gift telling you to start doing psychic shit,” so she gets onto the case of a missing child, who has some psychic connections in her own life.
Basically, everyone is a goddamn psychic.
And I’m not sure how a town full of psychics hasn’t been able to find the answer to “where’d that kid go?” but they haven’t and everyone is distressed; marriages are falling apart and life is just generally terrible.
Continue reading “Review: Ink and Bone by Lisa Unger”
“The words I’ve heard in the past few days are ones I never expected – new, untried, untested. Casket. Body. Funeral. Viewing. Embalming. Autopsy. Severed. Seven-inch non-corrosive steel blade. Homicide.”
MIRA | 2018
Opening Hook: Broken bones, broken dreams
Main Character: Shouldn’t keep blood secrets when your sister works with DNA
Plot Twisty-ness: Are coincidences considered twists?
Okay, okay, OKAY. Y’all know I love me some J.T. Ellison.
It all started with her Taylor Jackson series a damn decade ago (ugh, that makes me feel old) and I’ve been a loyal reader ever since. I love tough women writing tough women, it’s a thing.
Ellison’s move from series writer to standalones started with Lie to Me, which most people loved, except for yours truly.
What can I say? I’m a picky fucking reader.
I had a few issues with the pacing of Lie to Me (the second half sucked the life out of it) and with the ending (“it was all for nothing, just a giant misunderstanding” doesn’t really work for me. that’s not a twist,) but I’m happy to say that I liked Tear Me Apart a lot. I didn’t love it. It’s not the best thing I’ve read this year, but it’s a good read. It’s not a waste of your time, at all.
And we all know how much I hate wasting my reading time.
Continue reading “Review: Tear Me Apart by J.T. Ellison”
I’m coming down off of the Canada Day long weekend. For those among us that don’t know what Canada Day is, it’s our goddamn birthday! July 1st! HOW DARE YOU NOT SEND US A CARD!
It currently feels like there is nothing worse than going back to work after a long weekend. I’m exhausted even though I did literally the bare minimum for three days straight. To top it off, it’s been hotter than Satan’s taint outside. A heat warning has been in effect for a literal week. My dog is getting cabin fever because he can’t play outside longer than ten minutes without risking heat stroke. Same applies to my husband, honestly.
Climate change is going to kill us all, but first it’s making me sweat and I don’t like it.
I behaved like a vampire all weekend. Blinds drawn to create total darkness, keeping the homicidal sun away from my fair skin. The AC blasting, keeping me cool and fresh like a corpse in a morgue. And when my husband tried to touch me with his hotter-than-normal body, I burst into a hundred bats and flew away.
Continue reading “Booknerd Wednesday: WWW Edition”
HarperTeen | 2018
Opening Hook: Rich people get lit (on fire.)
Main Character: A copy of a copy of a copy…
Plot Twisty-ness: Kiddie-rollercoaster levels.
I was really hoping this was going to be sweaty, atmospheric summer thriller. But I only got 1 out of 2 from that list.
Depending on what’s important to you – the atmosphere or the thrills – you’re either going to love this or not.
Immediately upon starting this, I got a Revenge meets Gossip Girl meets Riverdale vibe. It’s got that spoiled teens with no adult supervision in the Hamptons thing going on.
It’s very rich versus poor. The pool owners and the pool cleaners. The Haves and the Have-nots.
The novel opens with a bang, so to speak, when the Haves suffer a tragedy the year prior – the Garrison estate goes up in flames, killing four members of the family. The only survivor is their teenage son, Tristan. The town is straight shooketh, casting blame and suspicion on the members of the Have Nots, because of course, the poor people want to kill the “elites.” Right, ‘Murica?
Continue reading “Review: The Lies They Tell by Gillian French”
Self-Published | 2017
Opening Hook: Vague and underwhelming
Main Character: Way too focussed on the tingles in her hoo-ha
Plot Twisty-ness: A disconnected jumping of the shark
This book was super frustrating for me because it has the bones of something that could have been really, really good. But the execution was off; the focus was not on the right things so choices in the plot felt clunky, and out of place.
Set in New Orleans, I was desperately seeking to be overwhelmed with that atmosphere. To feel the weather, to hear the culture, to have the architectural city streets at the forefront of the scene creation. But it never came. The author brought in some Voodoo elements, but it didn’t fit with the rest of the book. Either go full New Orleans – dark and magical and historic – a Skeleton Key tone. Or follow the erotic, police procedural lane that 75% of the book was in – a Double Jeopardy tone. The two didn’t mesh well.
Honestly, I would have totally preferred a dark and magical New Orleans thriller, with voodoo and a sexually deviant serial killer. Like I said, the bones were there and it should have hit the gas in that lane instead of coasting in and out of the lines.
It just never came together the way it should. It didn’t feel like it knew what it wanted to be, hence the “clunky”.
Continue reading “Review: A French Quarter Violet by E.J. Findorff”
Summer officially started last week! Do you feel it – the unbearable heat? Do you hear it – the sound of mosquitos eating me alive. Aw, summer.
The stepkid – hereby referred to as “15” for the purposes of my blog – had her last exam and is leaving on Saturday for an extended visitation with Crazy Pants, the bio-mom.
…and to me that means FREEDOM!
*slowly starts to paint face blue*
I whine sometimes, but being a stepmom is really not that bad compared to some of the horror stories I’ve heard in my support group. (It’s still a hard thing to do, hence the support group.) But, the kid is pretty clean and polite and doesn’t think I’m an evil twat, so I think I’m doing okay.
I will say, I’m glad the older one moved out because teenage 👏 boys 👏 are 👏 fucking 👏 gross👏. My clean/organized neurosis couldn’t take it anymore.
It’s all progress and winning in my life right now…you know, except for the stuff that isn’t. But, I have a good feeling about this summer *knocks on wood.*
Some people can’t wait for summer because it means the beach and amusement parks and camping and whatever the hell else extroverted, outdoorsy people do. I can’t wait for summer because it means quiet and a warm breeze coming through my bedroom window while I sit around in no pants (apparently you have to wear pants around stepchildren) reading the summer’s hottest books.
And what might those books be you ask? Well, I’m happy to tell you.
Here is my list of the new mystery & thriller books coming your way this summer. Get your TBR ready!
Continue reading “Booknerd Wednesday: Mystery & Thriller Releases for Summer 2018!”
Montlake Romance | 2017
Opening Hook: Protect your lady-bits
Main Character: Sex-addict realness
Plot Twisty-ness: Procedural B+
I’m telling you right now, this book is the motherfucking shit.
Not even an exaggeration, honey.
And it’s the shit for one reason. Yes, it’s got murder. Yes, it’s got sex. Yes, it’s got a psycho serial killer. Yes, it’s hitting that fine line in the level of detail. Yes, it reads like real life honesty. Yes, it’s got gore. Yes, it takes place in C to the A to the N to the A to the D to the A…
Hold on, did I spell that right? *goes back to check* Yep.
But listen to me readers and lovers, without Detective Angie Pallorino as a lead character we would be sitting at a three-star rating That’s just the truth.
Was there anything astonishing about the storyline? Not really. It’s interesting, but at the end of the day, it’s a police procedural. Extra points for taking place in Canada and getting my patriotic self a little hyped about that, because I’m always reading books that take place in the UK or the US – and quite honestly I’ve had just about enough of the United States at this CRAZY Trump Juncture – but, I’m pretty sure serial killers obsessed with religious bullshit has been done to death.
Continue reading “Review: The Drowned Girls (Angie Pallorino, #1) by Loreth Anne White”
Christ on a cracker, I can’t believe June is almost over.
That’s half of 2018…gone! Poof! January seemed to take fifty years to get through, but the rest of the year so far has flown by in the blink of an eye. It’s kind of depressing.
Do you have any idea how many times I’ve started and stopped a diet? How much intention I had to read X amount of books or get done X amount of things done in my house? Time just keeps on rolling no matter if we’re paying attention or not.
Still, I think this is the first time in a while where I’ve started to feel a little bit content in my life’s current status. And with summer just around the corner, I’m feeling pretty optimistic. There’s going to be peace and quiet and reading. I also have a few events to look forward to. First up: Foo Fighters in July. Then Dinosaur Jr and the Just For Laughs festival in September. For August I’m thinking of redoing my basement family room. New furniture, new flooring, new paint. Just in time for a comfy Christmas.
We’ll see how productive I’m feeling. There’s also the option to simply relax and read, taking a break from errands and responsibilities.
With that in mind, let’s get into a little bit of WWW Wednesday. What’s current, what’s coming up and what’s just finished?
Continue reading “Booknerd Wednesday: WWW Edition”
I didn’t really get many things posted last week, and if you care at all, one way or the other (hopefully you weren’t happy I was gone) I’m truly sorry (but also not really.)
Sometimes that’s how it’s going to go around here – little mini-breaks because I’m an adult and I can do what I want! Maybe next time I’ll post a Gone Fishin’ sign, though.
I don’t really have a good excuse for my inactivity other than I am really trying to get a few books read quickly so I can queue up some more reviews for this month. But also, I binged The Staircase on Netflix really hard.
Like, it was kind of pathetic how hard of a binge I did. I barely moved. My Fitbit thought I was sleeping for 14 hours. No joke.
But I’m back on it for this week! And the lovely Emily over at Wicked Good Reads is even helping me out with some content by tagging me in for this bookish questionnaire.
Is it good? Define ‘good.’ Is it content? You’re damn right it’s content!
Continue reading “Book Tag: What’s On My Bookshelf?”
Hey Nerdos! How’s the mildly inflammatory post title hitting you?
Right in the nads, I hope.
But, seriously, how’s life? I’m honestly interested. I need to know. Tell me about yourselves, tell me what’s going on. Because I’m always telling you about my life, like maybe to an overtly personal degree, as if this isn’t a book blog at all.
So, let’s make this uncomfortableness a two-way street.
This week is crazy busy for me. There’s so much going on at home, from preparing for a 15th birthday party for the stepkid, to cleaning out the other stepkid’s room because he moved out and I want my goddamn office space, to trying to build and stain our Adirondack chairs because it was cheaper to DIY-it than to buy them ready-to-sit and I’m all about DIY where I can if it saves me more money for books.
PS. whoever decided that Willy Wonka Funko dolls are worth $50 can get bent. You’ve ruined a teen’s birthday wish!
Anyway, through it all, I’m super dedicated to getting some books read and putting some half-assed content up on this clearly amateur blog.
Today’s post is going to be a personal book blogging existential crisis experience. That sounds like a blasty-blast, right?
I’m going to be working through a thing, so just bear with me and feel free to let me know your opinions in the comments.
Continue reading “Opinion: This Is Not A Safe Space”