Review: Stiff – The Curious Lives of Human Cadavers by Mary Roach

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★★★★

Penguin | 2004

Overall Grossness: You put that monkey head back where it came from, or so help me!

Best Cadaver: They were all beautiful, in their own dissected ways.

Plot Educational-ness: Thinking about your own expiration date has never been more fun!


I think if you’re into the macabre and that side of life, or death as it were, then this book is probably required reading.

And truth be told, I am not a science-brained kind of girl. Or history. Or geography. Or math. Really anything that requires a level of intelligence that is based on facts and an excessive amount of information and concentration.

These are just not my strong suits. And as much as high school teachers would want to make me feel bad about that with those shitty grades I kept getting, I’ve accepted myself now as an adult. I fully embrace that I will never be able to help my stepkid with science or math homework. He could ask me about English and art though. And I do appreciate logic and thoughtfulness.

I do have some intelligence, y’all!

Continue reading “Review: Stiff – The Curious Lives of Human Cadavers by Mary Roach”

Review: No Exit by Taylor Adams

“The difference between a hero and a victim? Timing.” 

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★★★★★

William Morrow | January 2019

Opening Hook: Did we learn nothing about isolated rest stops from Halloween?!

Main Character: Lady McGuyver

Plot Twisty-ness: Hold-onto-your-bits thrills with a side of snow.


This is my first 5-star read of the year. And thank Thor, because I was starting to get a little cranky since nothing has really been knocking my socks off. Who’s fault is that really? Mine? Because of my choices? Get out of here! I don’t want to here it!

Lalalala…

Reading No Exit was an exercise in cinematic writing. It would be easy to say it was written with a movie option in mind (and maybe it was,) but my gut tells me that what actually happened here is that the plotting and timing of the story are so good, that it comes across in vibrant cinematic scenes in the reader’s mind. And therefore, seems like it should be a movie. And it definitely should.

I would honestly give this five stars just based on the writing skill alone, it was that seamless and riveting. And my friends here know I don’t give out my stars easily. You have to earn this shit from me. You want easy stars? Go to the reviewers who aren’t dead inside with a stick up their ass.

It’s all ass sticks here, baby!

I do it because I love you and I want you to have an honest opinion that isn’t worried about feelings and blah blah blah.

andre braugher brooklyn 99 GIF by Brooklyn Nine-Nine
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Book Nook Sunday: 02.03.2019

Happy Sunday, lovers and bitches!!

It’s the end of the weekend (boo), but before another work week begins again I like to take advantage of Sundays by being as lazy as humanly possible.

Need a shower? Better take it Saturday night.

Husband wants a kiss? He better deal with my morning breath without complaint, because this girl hasn’t brushed her teeth yet.

A change of clothes? I don’t know what those words mean!

Bras do not exist to me on Sundays!

The only things that do exist are books. Sunday is my favourite day for getting some reading done. I basically dedicated the whole day to lying in bed and blizting some chapters. And I myself might also get a little blitzed, if you catch my drift that smells suspiciously of weed.

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Booknerd Wednesday: My Bookish New Years Resolutions

Happy Boxing Day, Nerds! And for everyone in the U.S., hey suckers! Sorry, you all had to go back to work today while we get a second stat holiday!

But truly, I hope everyone had a lovely holiday season, no matter what you celebrate.

I’m probably still in my PJs, hopefully playing a new game I got as a gift from my husband after dropping heavy hints since my birthday about what I wanted next. *cough Hellblade cough*

My in-laws are probably about to hit the road to get home to NY, taking my stepkid with them so he can reluctantly spend some time with his mom who makes him feel, quote “trapped.” Aw yes, the pitfalls of having a shitty parent who you still have forced visitation with. The true meaning of Christmas… wait…

30 rock pajamas GIF

On a happier note, come Friday I will have officially started my three weeks of vacation that I’ve been saving all year. And Omigod, I need this break so bad. I’m going to be reading and reading and playing games and reading and rotating a nearly endless supply of jogging pants for the next 19 days.

You can expect a lot of scheduled posts that I wrote the week before Christmas. But I’ll come in fresh for any reviews I have. To be honest, using the schedule feature is probably what I should be doing since starting this blog. Maybe then you’d have more of my salty AF reviews and ranty writings to read.

With that in mind, this post is dedicated to all my bookish resolutions for 2019.

The New Year is literally just around the corner and with that comes a lot of “new year, new me” bullshit posts about health and diet and being a better person. But not this one. Nope, not me. It’s going to be “new year, same me” for real. I just want to make a few tweaks to the bookish side of my life, but I promise to stay the same girl you grew to know in 2018.

dieting saturday night live GIF by HULU
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Book Nook Sunday: Holiday Edition

The next time I put out a Booknook Sunday post I really wanted it to be about my new reading/rec room space in my basement that we pushed to get together for the end of the year. And we did accomplish that, I will say, but only for about 3 weeks…

After that, if you’ve read my posts over the last few weeks, you’ll know we had a broken pipe in the kitchen that has resulted in some fucking annoying water damage that has ruined my ceiling, walls and floor in my brand new rec room.

new girl schmidt GIF

And to answer the question I know you’ve got on your mind, yes all my books are safe and sound!

I’ll save that special personal post for whenever my basement is back together (fingers crossed for the end of January,) and for now, we’ll get into the spirit of the season – pure, unadulterated envy over other people’s personal book nooks.

I’ve scoured the internet for some of the most beautiful personal libraries decorated for the holidays.

Try not to drool on your phone/computer…


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Review: Pretty Ugly Lies by Pamela Crane

It seems like everyone who settles down is miserable. They’re either broke or stressed or plagued with a sense of duty to someone who doesn’t appreciate them.

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★★★½

Bloodhound Books | 2018

Opening Hook: Kill your family for freedom!

Main Characters: Whiny bitches, but like, I totally get it.

Plot Twisty-ness: Twisty, but almost doesn’t make sense.

This book is going to cut with different women in different ways because the content is so heavily focussed on the various “caregiver” roles that women play. Wife, mother, friend, sister, lover.

It focuses on those roles with a decidedly negative lens. Like, suuuuuuuper negative. Like, if you were thinking about getting married, this will give you pause. If you were are on the fence about having kids, this will confirm your worst fears.

The story is told by four women – Jo, Shayla, Ellie and June – who all live on Oleander Way. Some know each other, some don’t, but they are connected by their neighbourhood.

We open on a murder. A husband and two children have been gutted in their home in the middle of the day. But who’s husband and children? And why did it happen? As the story unfolds, this mystery seemingly becomes less important than all the other crazy shit that happens to these four women.

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Review: The Marriage Pact by Michelle Richmond

I expected marriage to be a door that we went through. Like a new house, you step into it, expecting it to be an unchanging space to inhabit. But, of course, I was wrong. Marriage is a living, changing thing that you must tend to both alone and together. It grows in all sorts of ways, both ordinary and unexpected.

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★★

Bantam | 2017

Opening Hook: The worst marriage present of all time

Main Characters: Met on Married At First Sight, apparently.

Plot Twisty-ness: Tom Cruise jumping on a couch-like levels.


Leah Remini is a personal hero of mine. 

I am endlessly fascinated with cults. And for someone to so publicly be trying to take one down despite the danger, gets all the applause from me. I love her. I think she’s amazing. 

With that in mind, I wanted to read this book because it had this Scientology-cult vibe in the synopsis. A newlywed couple, Jake and Alice, receive, as a wedding gift, an invitation to join The Pact – a group whose sole focus is to help marriages last forever. Soon Jake and Alice find getting out of that contract is not as easy as you would think it would be for adults who just don’t want to do a thing anymore. 

That has L. Ron Hubbard inspiration written all over it – minus the alien nonsense.

But I guess, in order to make a cult thriller thrilling without going all David Koresh on your ass, things have to be fucking ridiculous and leave reason and logic completely behind.

So, for that alone this didn’t really work for me.

First of all, from my experience being a newlywed once upon a time, if someone had come to me and my husband and said “here’s this thing to help you be good at marriage” I would have said, BITCH WE ARE THE BEST AT MARRIAGE WE HAVE SEX FIVE TIMES A WEEK WE SHOULD BE TEACHING CLASSES ON HOW TO BE AMAZING AT MARRIED LIFE.

Because when you’re a newlywed, you’re cocky AF. 

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Booknerd Wednesday: Haunted Libraries (#Blogoween)

Happy Hump Day, ghouls and ghosts!

Halloween is getting closer with each passing day and I’m so excited about it that I’ve literally been living off of pumpkin pie and bite-sized candy for the last week.

…I don’t feel good.

So, while I try to maintain a normal blood-sugar level, it’s time for another #Blogoween post!

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What is Blogoween, you ask? Well, I’ll damn-well tell you. It’s a month-long celebration of Halloween on your blog with daily prompts and different levels of post commitment. Find out how to sign up for the Blogoween event here. And a list of all the prompts is here.

Today’s prompt was local haunted hot spots. Turns out that my area isn’t exactly hopping with good ghost stories, from what I can google/gather, so I decided to take the prompt and turn into something a little bit more suited for Booknerd Wednesday.

Today we’re going to check out some of the most haunted libraries around the world!

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Whether you believe in ghosts or not is completely irrelevant. We’re not here to discuss the merits of life after death. Although I will say, once people start reporting ghosts whispering “it’s Britney, bitch,” and “what’s the wifi password?” I might give a little bit more credence to the idea.

Right now, it seems like every ghost is wearing civil war uniforms and women are in bonnets, bemoaning a lost husband. Where are all the modern ghosts in trucker hats and flared jeans haunting a Starbucks? Where are my feminist ghosts at?

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Review: The Drowned Girls (Angie Pallorino, #1) by Loreth Anne White

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★★★★½

Montlake Romance | 2017

Opening Hook: Protect your lady-bits

Main Character: Sex-addict realness

Plot Twisty-ness: Procedural B+


I’m telling you right now, this book is the motherfucking shit.

Not even an exaggeration, honey.

And it’s the shit for one reason. Yes, it’s got murder. Yes, it’s got sex. Yes, it’s got a psycho serial killer. Yes, it’s hitting that fine line in the level of detail. Yes, it reads like real life honesty. Yes, it’s got gore. Yes, it takes place in C to the A to the N to the A to the D to the A…

Hold on, did I spell that right? *goes back to check* Yep.

CANADA!

But listen to me readers and lovers, without Detective Angie Pallorino as a lead character we would be sitting at a three-star rating That’s just the truth.

Was there anything astonishing about the storyline? Not really. It’s interesting, but at the end of the day, it’s a police procedural. Extra points for taking place in Canada and getting my patriotic self a little hyped about that, because I’m always reading books that take place in the UK or the US – and quite honestly I’ve had just about enough of the United States at this CRAZY Trump Juncture – but, I’m pretty sure serial killers obsessed with religious bullshit has been done to death.

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Opinion: This Is Not A Safe Space

Hey Nerdos! How’s the mildly inflammatory post title hitting you?

Right in the nads, I hope.

But, seriously, how’s life? I’m honestly interested. I need to know. Tell me about yourselves, tell me what’s going on. Because I’m always telling you about my life, like maybe to an overtly personal degree, as if this isn’t a book blog at all.

So, let’s make this uncomfortableness a two-way street.

awkward andy samberg GIF by Brooklyn Nine-Nine

This week is crazy busy for me. There’s so much going on at home, from preparing for a 15th birthday party for the stepkid, to cleaning out the other stepkid’s room because he moved out and I want my goddamn office space, to trying to build and stain our Adirondack chairs because it was cheaper to DIY-it than to buy them ready-to-sit and I’m all about DIY where I can if it saves me more money for books.

PS. whoever decided that Willy Wonka Funko dolls are worth $50 can get bent. You’ve ruined a teen’s birthday wish!

Anyway, through it all, I’m super dedicated to getting some books read and putting some half-assed content up on this clearly amateur blog.

Today’s post is going to be a personal book blogging existential crisis experience. That sounds like a blasty-blast, right?

I’m going to be working through a thing, so just bear with me and feel free to let me know your opinions in the comments.

Continue reading “Opinion: This Is Not A Safe Space”