Review: The Drowned Girls (Angie Pallorino, #1) by Loreth Anne White

31340014★★★★½

Opening Hook: Protect your lady-bits

Main Character: Sex-addict realness

Plot Twisty-ness: Procedural B+


I’m telling you right now, this book is the motherfucking shit.

Not even an exaggeration, honey.

And it’s the shit for one reason. Yes, it’s got murder. Yes, it’s got sex. Yes, it’s got a psycho serial killer. Yes, it’s hitting that fine line in the level of detail. Yes, it reads like real life honesty. Yes, it’s got gore. Yes, it takes place in C to the A to the N to the A to the D to the A…

Hold on, did I spell that right? *goes back to check* Yep.

CANADA!

But listen to me readers and lovers, without Detective Angie Pallorino as a lead character we would be sitting at a three star rating That’s just the truth.

Was there anything astonishing about the story line? Not really. It’s interesting, but at the end of the day it’s a police procedural. Extra points for taking place in Canada and getting my patriotic self a little hyped about that, because I’m always reading books that take place in the UK or the US – and quite honestly I’ve had just about enough of the United States at this CRAZY Trump Juncture – but, I’m pretty sure serial killers obsessed with religious bullshit has been done to death.

But do you know what’s not done to death?

Serial killers obsessed with religious bullshit who are being hunted by Angie Pallorino.

Alison Brie Kiss GIF by GLOW Netflix

Continue reading “Review: The Drowned Girls (Angie Pallorino, #1) by Loreth Anne White”

Opinion: This Is Not A Safe Space

Hey Nerdos! How’s the mildly inflammatory post title hitting you?

Right in the nads, I hope.

But, seriously, how’s life? I’m honestly interested. I need to know. Tell me about yourselves, tell me what’s going on. Because I’m always telling you about my life, like maybe to an overtly personal degree, as if this isn’t a book blog at all.

So, let’s make this uncomfortableness a two-way street.

awkward andy samberg GIF by Brooklyn Nine-Nine

This week is crazy busy for me. There’s so much going on at home, from preparing for a 15th birthday party for the stepkid, to cleaning out the other stepkid’s room because he moved out and I want my goddamn office space, to trying to build and stain our Adirondack chairs because it was cheaper to DIY-it than to buy them ready-to-sit and I’m all about DIY where I can if it saves me more money for books.

PS. whoever decided that Willy Wonka Funko dolls are worth $50 can get bent. You’ve ruined a teen’s birthday wish!

Anyway, through it all, I’m super dedicated to getting some books read and putting some half-assed content up on this clearly amateur blog.

Today’s post is going to be a personal book blogging existential crisis experience. That sounds like a blasty-blast, right?

I’m going to be working through a thing, so just bear with me and feel free to let me know your opinions in the comments.

Continue reading “Opinion: This Is Not A Safe Space”

Review: Missing, Presumed (DS Manon, #1) by Susan Steiner

28385950★★

If you’ve ever thought to yourself “what would Bridget Jones be like as a homicide detective?” …then I think you’ll want to read this book.

I myself have never wandered about Bridget Jones taking on different career paths, (really she does enough of that in her own stories,) but now that I have some idea of what a DS Jones would look like, I’ll tell you, it doesn’t work.

Missing, Presumed in the first book in the DS Manon Bradshow series – a UK police procedural revolving around the disappearance of the twenty-something daughter of a prominent doctor.

Overall I found this to be severely lacking on the police procedural part and overwrought on the personal “character-study” side, like to such annoying degree that I’m physically disappointed by this book. It’s certainly not what it was presented to be on the jacket or in the blurbs.

Continue reading “Review: Missing, Presumed (DS Manon, #1) by Susan Steiner”

Book Tag: Unique Blogger Award

You know what, it’s so nice to be thought of with these things. Sometimes I feel like I’m a little bit on the outskirts of the book blogger community because I’m new and slow and old. So, thanks, G!

If you haven’t stumbled across her blog yet, Greyson @ Use Your Words does lots of fun and interesting posts, including book reviews, discussions on mental health and personal posts about her family that might give you some feels, or help you feel less alone in your struggles. She’s special, and you’ll like her. Because I like her, and I don’t like a lot of people.

So this is the deal:

Unique Blogger Award.png

And these are my questions from Greyson:

Continue reading “Book Tag: Unique Blogger Award”

Book Tag: Emotions in Colours

My girl Greyson, over at Greyson Reads, tagged me to do this original gem created by Cait @ Paper Fury, which was inspired by a couple of G’s other blog posts. It’s colours as emotions as related to books.

It’s like our very own booknerd version of Emotion-evoked Synesthesia. (Google it, it’s pretty cool.)

Of course, I will never experience Synesthesia because, I’ll be honest, I’m pretty dead on the inside. This tag could end up being exceptionally difficult for me, but I’ll usually try anything once – even emotions.

Once.

empty kate mckinnon GIF by Saturday Night Live

Continue reading “Book Tag: Emotions in Colours”

Cover Reveal: Tear Me Apart by J.T. Ellison

Happy Thursday, lovers! We are one day away from a long weekend. Praise Thor! I don’t really have any plans besides not wearing a bra and gorging myself on true crime documentaries. You?

Last night I finished up Evil Genius on Netflix. It’s a detailed look into the case of the Pizza Bomber from 2003, in Erie, Pennsylvania. Basically, a pizza delivery man showed up with an order for a mysterious location, and was then allegedly assaulted and a bomb was strapped to his neck. He was sent out on a scavenger hunt to find the keys to unlock the bomb, but not before he was made to rob the local bank.

That’s just the basics, the case goes so much deeper than that. For someone who knew about the case already – moi! – it was still a completely wild ride, and revealed a lot I wasn’t totally aware of, or at least, hadn’t realized the gravity of. It’s jam-packed with information, and nothing beats the footage and interviews they got their hands on. Super intense.

There is some graphic video of the victim, Brian Wells, being blown up by the neck bomb though, just fair warning.

I highly recommend this if you’re a Netflix true crime documentary and chill, kind of person like me.netflix and chill GIF

Anyhooters, onto some book talk. The cover of J.T. Ellison’s new thriller was released today and I’m definitely into it!

Continue reading “Cover Reveal: Tear Me Apart by J.T. Ellison”

Booknerd Wednesday: The House That Jack Built & Bookish Choices

Here’s a little known secret about me. And by “little known”, I mean literally no one knows it, not even my husband.

I love Matt Dillon.

I keep it a secret because my love for him is complicated to explain. I actually I find him really gross. There’s something about Matt Dillon that is so incredibly off-putting to me; something smarmy, something that tells me he probably has weird sexual proclivities. I can totally see myself saying, “Um, no Matt Dillon, I will not have sex with you covered in mayo!”

Maybe it’s the roles I’ve seen him in that have coloured my opinion – Wild Things, There’s Something About Mary. But I find him to be very unattractive…so much so that I also want him.

matt dillon 80s GIF

I know, it’s weird. Maybe I’ll talk about it in therapy.

Continue reading “Booknerd Wednesday: The House That Jack Built & Bookish Choices”

Review: When The Serpent Bites (The Starks Trilogy, #1) by Nesly Clerge

This must be “Krystin reads nothing but misogynistic stories” month, because this is my second in a row, and let me tell you, I’m fucking over it.

I’ll give this review some context real fast. Frederick Starks – a very rich, successful businessman – is married with three kids. His wife, Kayla, is unfaithful to him. They separate. One night, while driving aimlessly, ruminating on the state of his failed marriage, he pulls up to the house of the man Kayla cheated with and beats the shit out of him in front of the man’s wife and children, putting the man into a coma. Police arrive, Starks is caught red-handed, quite literally, and is arrested. He goes to trial and is found guilty.

Because, duh.

But for some reason Starks just can’t believe the jury convicted him. Basically his whole position on his guilt is: “my wife cheated, and the guy was mean to me, so I can’t be held responsible for my actions.”

In fact, at his trial, the defence mounted by his attorney is nothing more than a character assassination of Kayla because “she’s a whore“, as if that’s a legit reason to nearly kill a man.

give me a break judging you GIF by Originals

Continue reading “Review: When The Serpent Bites (The Starks Trilogy, #1) by Nesly Clerge”

Review: The Last Mrs. Parrish by Liv Constantine

34066623

“What we’ve got here is a failure to communicate.” 

This quote from the 1967 film, COOL HAND LUKE, basically sums up how I’m feeling after reading this book. And I’ve never even seen the movie. The quote just came to me, as a thing I know somehow, deep from within the pop culture recesses of my mind. There’s a lot of useless information in there.

I might also go with: “…in the galaxy of This Sucks Camel Dicks!” Stepbrothers, 2008.

What I mean to say is: I wish the publishers hadn’t stuffed this novel into the psychological-thriller genre just because that’s where all the cool kids are, and had instead been honest about what this book is: a dark romance meets women’s fiction meets soap opera intrigue with a terrible, TERRIBLE message.

It’s not a thriller. I’m sorry, but no. I am not thrilled.

Had I known this from the start, I would have passed on reading it, because this level of dramatic soap-opera nutty-ness is just not my thing. It lacks humour and humanity, and is overpopulated with terrible one-liners, cliches and silly dialogue and tropes that feel like a reenactment. And the writing is derivative and basic.

Not to mention, the internal misogyny that permeates the entire theme gets my feminist hackles up.

Anyway….I didn’t know I shouldn’t read this, so I did, and now I have library late fees and a shitty review to write, so buckle in, bitches.

(This could get mildly spoiler-y because I’m going to rant, so if you’re super excited to read this, here’s my takeaway: Don’t waste your time with this, unless you’re cool with domestic abuse. Otherwise, read on!)

Continue reading “Review: The Last Mrs. Parrish by Liv Constantine”

Book Tag: The Ultimate Book Tag – 25 Bookish Questions

IT’S FRIDAY!

ken block friday GIF by Ford

Bonus for me: I’ve got Monday off work. I’m determined to make this weekend super productive for reading! It’s top priority.

I’d say last night was pretty productive for reading, as well, because I literally had no other choice. When I got home from work around 5PM, the power was out at my house, as well at 223 other houses. And we didn’t get electricity back until this morning! Joy-of-fucking-joys!

I felt like an Amish person – lighting candles, walking around in the dark, crying that we have no Wi-Fi (Amish people cry about that, right?)

As expressed by my 14-year-old stepkid: “I want to look at memes! This sucks!”

I hear you, junior.

Continue reading “Book Tag: The Ultimate Book Tag – 25 Bookish Questions”