Little, Brown & Company | 2019
Opening Hook: Where’s Waldo the War Criminal?
Main Character: Lindsay’s gonna Lindsay.
Plot Twisty-ness: Typical predictable Patterson
Let’s get this straight, Patterson and I broke up a long time ago. But just like every toxic relationship cycle, sometimes I go back to him.
Specifically, I go back when a new Women’s Murder Club instalment is released. I’ve been reading this series since the first book was published in 2001. I was fifteen, and at that time, I thought Patterson was the epitome of great crime fiction. It took me into my 20s, with exposure to crime fiction that was legitimately good, to realize that Patterson isn’t a very good writer, he’s just prolific. And I like a lot of people, confused “popular” with being talented.
That’s not to say people don’t genuinely enjoy his work. Obviously they do, but objectively it’s pretty bad.
Now, I don’t care if you’re the biggest Patterson fan around, I’m not interested in a debate. Go read, write glowing reviews for him to your heart’s content. It affects me zero percent. But my opinion is that he’s a terrible writer. TERRIBLE. But remember, it’s only one opinion. I am not the final say in the matter. So don’t fucking @ me about it.
Every year I make a resolution to not read any Patterson, and every year I break that resolution at least once. This is my one for 2019.
Continue reading “Review: The 18th Abduction (Women’s Murder Club, #18) by James Patterson & Maxine Paetro”
I just wanted to write a quick little post to say THANK YOU so much to everyone who voted in the blogger awards, organized by the lovely May over at Forever & Everly. Please stop by her blog and check out the full list of winners. She worked hard on this and even endured a little undeserved drama, so your clicks and your support are important.
I was nominated in the Mystery/Thriller category along with some other amazing bloggers, and it means so much to me that you thought to vote for me. But to put me in a position to win the category? It’s totally mind-blowing.
In all seriousness, I’m deeply touched by how you’ve accepted my weird personality and my writing voice in this small internet space I’ve carved out for myself.
Continue reading “The Third Annual Book Blogger Awards: I Fucking Won! This is my “Thank You.””
Ballantine Books | 2018
Opening Hook: Basic bitch googles body burial.
Main Character: Good girl gone bad and gets a Swiss bank account.
Plot Twisty-ness: Call the gangster in prison to fix it.
What can I say? I fucking liked this. But it’s going to be a love it or hate it kind of book for readers because it’s different and crammed with multiple genres and plot elements. So, if you read it because I gave my elusive stamp of approval and walk away thinking I must have been high, then one: you’re right. and two: I’m also high right now.
Please don’t lose trust in me, but this worked for me. I readily admit that might have a lot to do with the audiobook quality because that shit was fucking FIRE.
The author narrates, and at first I was like that’s kind of weird, but then I found out she’s an actress who has been in things like Downton Abbey (never watched it, don’t act surprised.) Seriously, try the audiobook if you’re looking for maximum entertainment from this novel, because Catherine Steadman burns it down.
Continue reading “Review: Something in the Water by Catherine Steadman”