Book Tag: The Liebster Award, Take Three

I am only doing this again because Grey @ Use Your Words gave me a bonus nomination from my nomination of her. “You’re my boy, blue!”

How can I resist an opportunity to run my mouth, maybe talk some shit and avoid doing my actual job this morning? I can’t! I have almost zero self-control! It’s why I’ve started and stopped diets like a million times this year! ZERO SELF-CONTROL. So, let’s take advantage of this terrible personality trait!

Literally me.

Sidenote: If you’re not following Grey’s blog or Insta, you are missing out. Thoughtful reviews, personal commiserating and beautiful pictures. Get your head out of your ass and 👏check👏 her👏 out👏!

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THE RULES

• Thank the blogger who nominated you and link to their post
• Answer the 11 questions they asked you
• Nominate 11 other bloggers, with your own set of questions
• Tag your chosen 11 bloggers, and don’t forget to tell them as well!

GREY’S QUESTIONS

🔪What TV series best represents your life?

My mother always calls us the Modern Family family, so I’m going to have to go with that. I mean, it is in no way an identical representation, but we would fit in with the cast without missing a beat.

I’m Canadian, married to an American who immigrated to live with me in Ontario in 2015. He brought his two children with him, making me a full-time stepmom at 29 years old. It was a rocky transition, but almost 4 years later we’ve settled in, mostly.

My parents were married for 16 years but divorced when my father found the courage to live his life authentically, as a gay man. He’s been with his partner for nearly 20 years. My mother remarried fifteen years ago. So I have three “dads” in my life. My parents are friends now and we celebrate holidays altogether.

My sister is also gay. One of my stepkids is trans. And my in-laws travel from NY on special occasions and we do dinners and holidays with my in-laws, too. Everyone in one room is a fun, eclectic mix of sexualities, nationalities, relationships and gender-identities. The only thing we’re missing is an adopted child, really. Which I still haven’t ruled out as an option for my future.

🔪What do you think is your true identifier? (You know the thing people say when they’re trying to tell someone who they’re talking about but one or both people don’t know your name.)

I know I’ve gotten “the blonde with the glasses” before. I think that’s a pretty good, basic description. If my husband has lost me in a crowd he looks for a blonde top knot. We could probably add resting bitch face in this, too. Like, “you know, the girl who looks really mean but when you actually talk to her she’s not?”

🔪What is one lesson that you want to bestow on the generation below you?

Stop being so goddamn sensitive.

I mean this in both the macro and micro sense.

The Macro: “Safetyism” is going to make a whole generation completely incapable of navigating life, which is difficult whether you like it or not. You can’t avoid that difficulty. Perspective and experiences make you capable of dealing with it. But trying to avoid discomfort and pain, in any form, has created a generation of kids who have no perspective on life’s difficulties. A pinprick feels like a butcher knife. A setback feels like the end of the world.

Rates of anxiety, depression and suicide are rising unlike any generation before (but, I mean, there are a lot of other circumstances surrounding that, I’m being dismissive or miopic.) But it seems this generation sees everything that makes them feel bad as an “evil” to smother – this is not about things that are objectively bad, like racism or police brutality. But about subjective things – “I don’t like that because I don’t like, therefore you must be shamed and silenced.” SJW internet culture has made it so people lose their livelihoods over things that would otherwise be seen as a mistake to be learned from.  There is no forgiveness, no room for error, no allowance for growth, no offer to teach. There are only bad things with severe reactions.

The next generation is growing up with an inability to live, work and cooperate “across rational party lines.” Rational being the keyword. And that’s a problem. Though, I will say, older generations have the same problem with cooperating across party lines and they need to get their shit together too. Live and let live, you miserable cunts!

An excellent book about the younger generation is The Coddling of The American Mind: How Good Intentions and Bad Ideas are Setting Up a Generation For Failure. The book takes on “untruths” that are now accepted as facts: your feelings are always right, avoid pain and discomfort, the world is good vs. evil, adversity makes you weak and look for fault in others but not yourself.

All of those things are bullshit. Bottom line.

The Micro: Stop letting the opinions of others degrade your self-worth and self-confidence. There is nothing more freeing than to not give a fuck about what other people think of you, and to live your life accordingly. Having hurt feelings and letting that hold you captive is a waste of your time. Life is fleeting, it doesn’t last long enough. You grow up faster than you can understand. Put away the worry and the sensitivity and do what makes you happy, even if people have something negative to say about it.

“Those who are determined to be ‘offended’ will discover a provocation somewhere. We cannot possibly adjust enough to please the fanatics, and it is degrading to make the attempt.” Christopher Hitchens

🔪If your pet could text you, what kind of texts would you get from them? (If you don’t have a pet right now, any pet you’ve had will do!)

I don’t think my cat would text me. I think she likes to play aloof, like it’s a total accident that she is following you around the house. She may send a “when are we giving the dog away?” text once in a while.

My dog would probably send me something like, “Mom! Mommy! Mom! Mom! Mommy! Mama! Mom! Where are you?! Mom! Mommy! I miss you! Mommy! Mom! Mama! Are you coming back soon?! Mom! Mommy! Mommy! I miss you still!”

…. you get the idea.

🔪Describe your life in 10 hashtags.

#ineedanap #ineedavacation #alwayslookforsilverlinings #420 #netflixandchill #leggingsaspants #booksarebetterthanpeople #animalsarebetterthanpeople #marriedlife #workinghardorhardlyworking

🔪What’s your craziest ‘I can’t fucking believe this happened to me/I can’t believe I did that’ story?

I’m sure I have so many stories to answer this with that I’ve forgotten about because I was drunk at the time. Aw, those college days.

But off the top of my head, I worked at 7-eleven in college and one time on a midnight shift, a guy came in, hopped the counter and robbed the store. He grabbed me by my neck, made me open the register, took what cash he could and ran. I was in the news, interviewed by police a couple of times, got watch forensic officers lift prints and take mine to exclude me. It was kind of cool. Then and went to work the next day. The woman I was working with, who hid in the back while I was assaulted, took like 3 weeks off of work for anxiety. I think she was just milking it, but I’ll never know for sure.

Another time. I almost died of alcohol poisoning on my 21st birthday. I did so many pre-game shots at home that by the time I got to the bar I could barely stand up. I threw up in the bathroom, on the dancefloor, in the booth in an empty cup – it was baaaddddd. We got kicked out and then I threw up in the planters outside. On the ride home I threw up in a grocery bag. And I only know these things because I’ve been told them. I barely remember the whole night.

It was the worst birthday of my life and I hated every minute of it. I still look back on it in shame. Luckily I was so out of it that I don’t have any idea of what people’s reaction was to me. Otherwise, I might have died of embarrassment. I don’t drink anymore, maybe a glass of wine during a girl’s night. But that’s it. I just can’t. It’s not fun for me.

Maybe my biggest “I can’t believe that happened to me” moment though, is that I randomly met a man from a different country on Twitter, fell in love, made a long distance relationship work for 3 years, married him, immigrated him into my country and now we’ve been married 5 years, own a house and have a content life. That’s by far the fucking craziest twist of all twists. I don’t know how we did it.

🔪Which author would you want to turn your life into a book?

Me, bitch.

If anyone is going to write about my life it’s going to be me because I know it best. But I don’t think I ever will. In bullet points, it’s got everything – a riches-to-rags childhood, teenage depression, late-bloomer status, a diverse family, a bumpy road to adulthood, an abusive relationship, a twitter marriage and eye-opening experiences with love, trauma, and mental health.

But I feel like I’m still growing, still learning and as grow, I move on. I don’t see a reason to revisit any of it in a cathartic way. Autobiographies are good if you can impart wisdom, but I’m like super tired. Figuring out life is fucking hard work.

I’ll let reality TV stars keep imparting their wisdom on you instead.

🔪Who is your internet crush? Someone who you talk to online. Can be an ‘I want to date you’ crush or a friend crush!

I’m a married lady so I only have friend crushes on people I talk to. I really like all of the people I’ve met through my blog, who interact with me and read my shit. But I’ve made some amazing connections through the #bookstagram community on Insta that I didn’t expect to find. There are a couple of people I talk to every day now, who I share parts of my life with, who I care for even though I’ve never met them. Books bringing people together – it’s beautiful, dudes!

🔪What is your favourite recipe? Share it! I just want recipe ideas.

I make these Skinny Lasagne Rolls all the time. They are a family favourite and fit into any diet I’m on at any given time (I have a problem.)

🔪What would your drag name be?

OMG! Netflix just added the whole back catalogue of RuPaul’s Drag Race and I am in heaven. I have so much binging to do.

My drag name is Peaches Beaverhousen.

🔪What book/TV show/film do you think is highly underrated? Give it a shout out!

Wrecked!

THIS SHOW IS FUCKING HILARIOUS AND I DON’T KNOW ANYONE WHO WATCHES IT. Get👏 it👏 to👏ge👏ther, internet. You are missing out on Grade A comedy.

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I’m not tagging anyone and making up new questions because this is my third time around with this tag, but if you want to answer Grey’s questions, please feel free!

Stay safe. Be Kind. But, take no shit.

Later, Booknerds ✌️🔪