#Slashmas: All the Winter Holiday-Themed Reads You Need!

It’s the most wonderful time of the year, booknerds!

And I mean that in the most inclusive way possible. There are 11 holidays celebrated this time of year by people of all different backgrounds. And that’s just what I know of. It is completely possible that there are more celebrations that I’m ignorant to.

The point is, that to me, it doesn’t matter what you celebrate this time of year, I just want your holidays to be everything that you want them to be. I want you to wish people whatever lovely greeting you choose to and I want you to be happy and loved.

For me and my little family, we are celebrating Yule/Saturnalia. And I need my Yule to include some goddamn murder!

That’s right, I said it. With the stress of shopping and wrapping and getting the house in order for family and friends, I like to wind down at the end of the day with some dead bodies and a big mystery to unravel.

Nothing says “Christmas” like blood in the snow.

So, if you’re anything like me, maybe you’re looking to build your TBR in December around some winter holiday themed crime fiction. And because I love you all so much, I’ve put together a list of what I think are your best bets to add to your pile, just to start you off.

Here’s my fucking list of the top holiday-theme books to quench your thirst for death this season!

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A “Here’s The Fucking Twist” Giveaway!

*NOW CLOSED*

Heads up, nerds! I’m running a giveaway through my #bookstagram account: @thefuckingtwist and I don’t want any of my lovely book friends to miss out!

You might be asking yourself why I’m doing this? What’s the occasion?

I know most accounts do giveaways to celebrate follower count, but I’m honestly not at all concerned with that number. I’m so happy with the support and readership I have, and the bookish connections I’ve made, that even if only 5 people interacted with me, I’d be thrilled and consider this a success.

It’s all about the book love!

I decided to do this giveaway because it’s my birthday on Thursday and the holiday season (whatever holiday you observe) is officially underway which always makes my Grinch-y sized heart grow 3 times it’s normal size. Hell, maybe my reviews will even get nicer?! Probably not. Even still, this is a holiday-themed giveaway to celebrate all those good things!

the point is its my birthday GIF by Party Legends

If you don’t follow me on Insta, first get your shit together. Second, come on by and put your name in for my giveaway.

It’s open internationally until my birthday, Thursday at 11 pm/et. Winner will be announced Friday!

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Review: The Breakdown by B.A. Paris

★★

St. Martin’s Press | 2017

Filed Under: Can’t a person just sit in their car without being murdered anymore?

I’m pretty sure me and B.A. Paris should break up.

I read and mostly enjoyed Behind Closed Doors, but I was not over the moon about it like most other reviewers were. Even now, when I think back on that reading experience the only things I remember are that 1) the main character was super annoying and 2) it’s totally ridiculous to believe that a high-powered attorney who works 60+ hour weeks on huge cases, would also have enough time to be that on the fucking nose when it came to keeping his wife hostage.

You don’t want the things a reader remembers about your book to be just the illogical, annoying bits. But then again, I’m a total bitch.

With that said, The Breakdown might be the end of me reading this author’s work.

B.A. Paris seems to have a habit of writing the most annoying female main characters – clueless, meek and insecure – who are married to the most obviously untrustworthy men. I can’t be the only one who is seeing the perfect, loving and thoughtful husband routine as completely shady? Maybe it’s because I’m no stranger to shitty men who do a really good job of tricking you. Even the most romantic of men are not going to be perfect. If they are, they are trying to bamboozle you, bitch!

Basically what we’ve got here is the MC, Cass, driving home one evening on a dark, twisty shortcut that is secluded, because of course it is. On her way, she sees a car parked with a woman inside. She considers checking if the woman needs help, but decides it’s too scary and dark and will call the police from home about the woman simply chillin’ in her car. As you would.

The next day, that woman is dead. Not just dead, murdered!

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Review: Guess Who by Chris McGeorge

“Today, we are going to be playing a little game of Murder.”

★★★½

Hanover Square Press | 2018

Filed Under: If Maury and Robert Stack had a baby, but that baby was drunk all the time.

I went into this novel with every intention of loving it. I swear to the god of thunder. But okay, obviously I didn’t completely get there. Story of my life. No one is shocked.

Guess Who started off as a five-star read until I passed the halfway mark and then this cookie fell apart into crumbly pieces. For the first half of the book, it is very much SAW meets Clue, minus the horror elements. It creates a sinister tone and frantic pace that definitely had me hooked like a stupid fish. It’s a locked-room mystery that feels both extravagant and desperate, and that definitely worked for me in a totally non-sexual sexual way.

Morgan Sheppard is a TV star who has made a living doing a Maury meets Unsolved Mysteries-style show called Resident Detective, which I would have definitely watched when I faked sick as a kid… or even now as an adult.

As a child, Morgan solved the murder of his math teacher and created a very successful career riding (read: exploiting) his 15 minutes. Through his fame and guilt, he’s turned into an alcoholic, drug addict and womanizer. The only problem is that Sheppard has been full of shit for a very long time. And someone knows it. And someone hates him.

This villain, known as The Evil Man, who wears a goofy fucking horse mask, locks Sheppard and five other people in a hotel room with a dead body in the bathtub. Sheppard has 3 hours to find the killer – one of the people in the room – and prove what kind of detective he really is, or the hotel will be blown up.