Trick or Treat, bitches!
Tomorrow is Halloween! And that means Blogoween is officially over *whomp whomp*
While I mourn one, I’m excited about the other. Specifically, I’m excited to hand out some candy so that there’s less of it in my house. Because I’ll be honest, we bought three 120 piece boxes from Costco, and a lot of it is gone. I just want to come clean about that. Between myself, my husband and the one kid still at home we did a number on that goddamn candy.
It’s shameful and embarrassing and I had to buy another 100 pieces to make sure I don’t run out tomorrow. At least it was on sale??? #shame
Tonight, we’re going to see the new Halloween (have you seen it? did you love it?) because it’s a top 5 favourite movie series of mine. And then tomorrow we’ll watch whatever scary movies are streaming and hand out candy to all the cute little kids and the questionably-aged teenagers.
But today, I’m doing Bookwyrming Thought’s quiz to find out which spoopy creature is actually my spirit animal when the moon rises.
I’m inclined to think it’s a something like an anti-social witch or a smart-ass demon, but we’ll see.
Continue reading “Book Tag: What Spoopy Creature Are You? (#Blogoween)”
“A smart girl is nobody’s pushover and nobody’s foe. A smart girl is both sword and smile.”
Doubleday | 2018
Opening Hook: I woke up like this (next to a dead body)
Main Character: Barely sober, mostly stupid
Plot Twisty-ness: Only twisty because she’s drunk and dizzy
Oh, boy this is super disappointing.
The Flight Attendant had been on my radar for a while. Maybe I should have paid more attention to the other reviews on the matter, but my ability to make a snap decision based on a good synopsis has been my downfall once again.
All I saw was “she wakes up next to a dead body,” and I was 100% on board with this. (That was a genuinely subtle plane pun.)
But Omigod, it was not at all what I was hoping it would be. The kick-off has so much promise to be suspenseful and thrilling, but it didn’t end up working for me.
Continue reading “Review: The Flight Attendant by Chris Bohjalian”
Happy Hump Day, Nerdos!
I’m like 80% sure I’m coming down with a cold, so my brain is basically sleepy mush today and I had no idea what kind of post I’d be able to write that wasn’t completely half-assed.
And honestly, I don’t want to put out half-assed stuff. I’d rather post less often with high quality (for me) stuff then post daily with shit I’m just tossing out there, hoping it sticks.
Thankfully, Dora @ Swift Coffee has given me the perfect out for today by nominating me for the Versatile Blogger Award!
I have no idea what that means, but I’m grateful!
Honestly, while we’re on it, I never have any idea what most of these blogger award tags are for. Best Actor? Best Director? Worst Blowjob Scene?
What we need is some description of what these awards are far, what was the qualifying criteria? Am I to assume I’m versatile in some way? Because I can assure you, I am not. I’m a fickle, stubborn, cranky bitch who is very difficult to please and if you change plans on me last minute I’m gonna throw a fit.
But here we are… Versatile Awards for me!
Continue reading “Book Tag: The Versatile Blogger Award”
It’s almost here! Can you feel it? Halloween night creeping ever closer?
Do you have your costumes ready? Your pumpkins carved? Have you eaten all of the candy you were supposed to be saving for young, innocent children dressed as tigers and bumblebees that make your ovaries go, “You’re 32!! You better decide if this is cute enough to make you want this sooner rather than later!!“
Huh? Yeah, me neither.
To help us prepare for the big night – because the countdown is officially on! – I’m back with another Halloween inspired TCT to really help scare the shit out of you on October 31st.
You’re going to be sitting around, waiting for the knock on the door, watching a scary movie, and suddenly there it will be – a memory of that time I told you about people being fucking murdered in their homes after handing out candy. And you’ll think, THAT BITCH.
Or you’ll be out at a party, dressed up in your sexy slice of pizza costume or your sexy Big Bird costume or your sexy hot dog costume or your sexy Pikachu costume or your sexy Eleven from Strange Things costume (she’s just a child, what is wrong with you?) and suddenly there it will be – a memory of that time I told you about people being fucking murdered walking home drunk in their sexy Halloween costumes. And you’ll think, THAT CUNT.
If you remember, I posted about my hometown murder from a few months ago, something that had my entire neighbourhood in a tizzy. If you don’t know what I’m talking about, check it out here.
Continue reading “True Crime Tuesday: The Halloween Killer (& My Hometown Murder Update)”
Titan Books | 2017
Opening Hook: Killer and Killee (?) running through the woods, Jason style.
Main Character: Drinks a shit load of tea
Plot Twisty-ness: Like a half-assed pretzel.
I’m wavering between 2 and 3 stars for this one because on one hand, it’s not a bad book. The writing is good, the characters don’t suck, the setting is kind of spooky and the crimes were unique, not something I’d ever read about before.
But then on the other hand, if I think about it, this book was super formulaic, there was nothing different about the plotting, the villain’s reveal. And although the crimes were in-depth and thought out with great detail, the ending was also pretty predictable (read: typical.)
Nothing about this book was outside the box, which is disappointing because it had every opportunity to be considering it was working with a partly supernatural storyline.
Continue reading “Review: Wychwood (Wychwood, #1) by George Mann”
“Never talk to strangers. If someone ever tries to take you, fight with everything you have. Scream as loud as you can. (He’d never told her what to do if the man was too strong and there was no one to hear her screaming.)”
Touchstone | 2016
Opening Hook: Tediously attention-grabbing
Main Character: I see dead people-ing it
Plot Twisty-ness: How twisty can it be when everyone is a goddamn psychic?
I don’t know why I keep trying books with psychic characters, because I never like them.
Also, apparently this could technically be considered part of series called The Hollows, but I have zero experience with Lisa Unger or that series, so perhaps that’s why I’m not as jazzed about this book as other people have been.
This does read like a standalone for all intents and purposes, though.
Basically what you have here is a twenty-something who is a developing psychic, so she goes to live with her grandmother, who is an experienced psychic, to get her psychic abilities up to snuff. While she’s doing her psychic-training she starts to hear a persistent noise – squeak, clink – and her psychic grandmother is all, “that’s your psychic gift telling you to start doing psychic shit,” so she gets onto the case of a missing child, who has some psychic connections in her own life.
Basically, everyone is a goddamn psychic.
And I’m not sure how a town full of psychics hasn’t been able to find the answer to “where’d that kid go?” but they haven’t and everyone is distressed; marriages are falling apart and life is just generally terrible.
Continue reading “Review: Ink and Bone by Lisa Unger”
Happy Hump Day, ghouls and ghosts!
Halloween is getting closer with each passing day and I’m so excited about it that I’ve literally been living off of pumpkin pie and bite-sized candy for the last week.
…I don’t feel good.
So, while I try to maintain a normal blood-sugar level, it’s time for another #Blogoween post!
What is Blogoween, you ask? Well, I’ll damn-well tell you. It’s a month-long celebration of Halloween on your blog with daily prompts and different levels of post commitment. Find out how to sign up for the Blogoween event here. And a list of all the prompts is here.
Today’s prompt was local haunted hot spots. Turns out that my area isn’t exactly hopping with good ghost stories, from what I can google/gather, so I decided to take the prompt and turn into something a little bit more suited for Booknerd Wednesday.
Today we’re going to check out some of the most haunted libraries around the world!
Whether you believe in ghosts or not is completely irrelevant. We’re not here to discuss the merits of life after death. Although I will say, once people start reporting ghosts whispering “it’s Britney, bitch,” and “what’s the wifi password?” I might give a little bit more credence to the idea.
Right now, it seems like every ghost is wearing civil war uniforms and women are in bonnets, bemoaning a lost husband. Where are all the modern ghosts in trucker hats and flared jeans haunting a Starbucks? Where are my feminist ghosts at?
Continue reading “Booknerd Wednesday: Haunted Libraries (#Blogoween)”
“The words I’ve heard in the past few days are ones I never expected – new, untried, untested. Casket. Body. Funeral. Viewing. Embalming. Autopsy. Severed. Seven-inch non-corrosive steel blade. Homicide.”
MIRA | 2018
Opening Hook: Broken bones, broken dreams
Main Character: Shouldn’t keep blood secrets when your sister works with DNA
Plot Twisty-ness: Are coincidences considered twists?
Okay, okay, OKAY. Y’all know I love me some J.T. Ellison.
It all started with her Taylor Jackson series a damn decade ago (ugh, that makes me feel old) and I’ve been a loyal reader ever since. I love tough women writing tough women, it’s a thing.
Ellison’s move from series writer to standalones started with Lie to Me, which most people loved, except for yours truly.
What can I say? I’m a picky fucking reader.
I had a few issues with the pacing of Lie to Me (the second half sucked the life out of it) and with the ending (“it was all for nothing, just a giant misunderstanding” doesn’t really work for me. that’s not a twist,) but I’m happy to say that I liked Tear Me Apart a lot. I didn’t love it. It’s not the best thing I’ve read this year, but it’s a good read. It’s not a waste of your time, at all.
And we all know how much I hate wasting my reading time.
Continue reading “Review: Tear Me Apart by J.T. Ellison”
Happy Friday, Book Monsters! And to all my fellow Canadians, Happy Thanksgiving!!
I wish this long weekend was going to be relaxing – full of reading, and eating candy I shouldn’t be putting into my body – but
unfortunately, I’ll be hosting a Thanksgiving dinner on Saturday, which will also double as a birthday family party for my husband. Which means I need to go home and immediately clean my house and prepare. REAL TALK: I fucking hate being a hostess y’all!
No one ever tells you that if you’re the oldest child the role of hostess becomes your unofficial job like allllllll the time after you buy a house.
It is not fair. But I’ll do it.
My in-laws will be crossing the border from NY and spending the whole weekend with us as well, so that’s
I figure, I better do a post today because I’m likely not going to be floating around the blogosphere very much for the next 3 or 4 days.
And I just want to say, being a deeply introverted person, the anticipation of a big family weekend always gives me a low-rumbling anxiety. Sometimes I sneak away from the gathering to reclaim my energy – I think of it like when you’re playing a game and you hide your character behind a wall in a corner from the fight until your health starts to regenerate.
Continue reading “Fave Five: Creepy Crawlies (#Blogoween)”
IT’S FINALLY HAPPENING!
It’s officially October which means my month-long celebration of Halloween can commence.
At home you will find me decorating, watching scary movies and buying bite-sized boxes of candy from Costco, eating it all before Halloween night, then buying more. Good times.
I love Halloween so effing much. It’s my favourite time of year (which I think is true of most of us around here judging by the number of pumpkins currently spicing everybody’s posts), but because I love it so much, I can’t just leave my Halloween festivities at home. I’ve got to bring it here to share with all of you in my little corner of the internet, as well.
I started with a brand new header for my blog. Please check it out and let me know what you think! Consider it me putting out jack-o-lanterns on my front porch. Except instead of a porch it’s a blog home page… something like that.
And next up is going to be Halloween-themed True Crime Tuesday posts for the next month. That’s right! I’m going to fill your booknerd noggins with terrifying stories of people being murdered on Halloween so that when that spooky night rolls around you’ve really got that festive scared-out-of-your-mind feeling!
You’re welcome. I love you.
First up, a story of unknown motive and Halloween nightmares. The murders of Adriane Insogna and Leslie Mazzara.
Continue reading “True Crime Tuesday: A Ghastly Halloween Double Murder”